smacking???

[Suzy4321]

Hi , I'm just curious what's people's views on smacking.

Before anyone gets on their soap box I literally mean a hand tap! Not beating or any force.

I remember when I was young I was smacked only when really playing up as a last resort. It never damaged me in any way.

Again only smack ( light hand tap) not legs and never face.

Like I say just curious

Okkkkaaayy so if the environment is right its fine to bash your own child? Really?! What utter nonsense. Listen to yourselves.

BooAvenue if you must know. I usually keep a padlock on the gate the window cleaner removed it but put it back in a way it looked like it was locked.

DS also likes to hide behind the shed and play peekaboo this is where I thought he was when he got out the first time The second time I was in the loo, yet again the padlock had been removed.
I think it instills independence for them to be able to put their coat on and let themselves out to play in the garden but he needed to learn not to leave the garden and that was that.
I've since changed all the door locks which in all honesty upsets me because as I said I'd of liked him to have some independence to ones he can't open and haven't smacked him since as I said I hate smacking but when nothing else was working.

He laughed in my face everytime he went to the gate and I scolded him for doing so, thought it was a game when I was chasing him up the street.

Lots of parents who think hitting is ineffective and humiliating have very occasionally smacked a child, usually when they have several kids who are at their most extremely provocative, and when the parent is at the end of his/her tether.

It is far from ideal, but it is not the end of the world either, to smack a child who is behaving horribly, you are upset, and you don't actually hurt or frighten them. I think smacking as a punishment with premeditation is chilling and freaky, but smacking a child's hand as Jw3 describes (especially if you have 2 other children with you) is understandable, and a world away from the hideous abuse we all condemn.

I was only smacked a couple of times, and absolutely hated it. I found it deeply humiliating, but not remotely frightening or painful. Looking back, I think I was also embarrassed for my mother, whose actions were clearly shouting: "I am a million miles from my usual dignified self, and I am incompetent at this very moment."

I remember being smacked by my mum, but not my dad. I remember backing away crying 'No Mummy!' and her furious face and her hand lashing out for the back of my leg.

To be honest she wasn't a very good disciplinarian. We acted up for her, but never our dad.

I have made sure my son knows that I love him more than anything, I will protect him from any pain and I will never, ever hurt him. I cannot imagine the look on his face if I were to lash out and hit him because I was in a temper. And the thought of doing it in cold blood without temper to 'teach him to behave' is just horrifying.

I cannot imagine the look on his face if I were to lash out and hit him because I was in a temper. And the thought of doing it in cold blood without temper to 'teach him to behave' is just horrifying.

YY, exactly this.

Love AnnPerkins username

I've spent the best part of the past 5 years, on and off, trying to get the message through to my ds that violence is wrong and hitting/ kicking/ biting etc is not acceptable. I have finally won the battle. To start smacking him now would undo all that teaching. Madness. My mum smacked me three times when I was little and I remember each occasion. So does she - she believes she was utterly wrong to have done so as she freely admits it was a loss of control on her part. I use 'the glare' with ds.

A lot of parents are now using different methods to deal with naughty behaviour. No treats, parties excluding friends, with drawing love, These are all traits shown in kids who then go on to bully.

I agree sally it was exactly my point when I said there are worse things you could do!

Everyone is entitled to an opinion but calling parents thick or shit parents for doing something LEGAL is unfair. A light tap from loving parents trying their best to deal with behaviour is worlds apart from continual unprovoked physical abuse.

I'm not even saying I think it's alright, I just think there are a few overreactions and some pretty nasty comments!

LittleLionMansMummy if its taken 5 yrs to achieve your aim its not a very affective method...

I'm not sure what you mean there peggyundercrackers.

It's soon to become illegal. Thank God.

Really Juno? It's been illegal in other countries for many many years, but not in the UK.
When is it going to change? What date?

Sweden. 1979. More than 35 years ago then.

Suzy you will not get anything rational on MN on this matter, wonderful as the august institution may be.

The reality, IME, is that by the time the DC get to their teens most parents have smacked very occasionally, out of last resort or temper or whatever, and long term it is no big deal at all. Most people agree it isn't necessary, or logical, and it doesn't work, and no-one is proud of it but we are all human.

Nationaltrust you make sense. That's what I'm thinking

National trust puts it perfectly.

National yes but I think that's entirely different to actively condoning smacking.

On another note "a light tap" is not really a smack is it? A smack is designed to hurt/shock.

Junoandthepeacock they have been saying it will become illegal for years but its never happened yet...

I have a hot temper, but I can say hand on heart I have never once even considered hitting my child. The very thought of deliberately hurting a child really upsets me. Barbaric and humiliating. Why anyone would want their child to be hurt or frightened of them is truly beyond me.

peggy I'm sure your child is perfect, as is your parenting. Congratulations. I am very happy with the little boy my baby has now become. Thanks though for your highly obnoxious comment that added nothing to the debate.

Interested in how pro smackers would feel if another adult walloped their child. To object would be hypocritical.

Interested in how pro smackers would feel if another adult walloped their child. To object would be hypocritical

Why do you insist on using over inflated terms when quite clearly people are talking about a short sharp smack?
Noone is agreeing 'walloping' a child or 'Bashing' a child is ever good, stop trying to use over emotional language as an attempt to twist what's being discussed and cause arguments.

I also don't see how not wanting another person to discipline your child is hypocritical?

Kerala - Interested in how pro smackers would feel if another adult walloped their child. To object would be hypocritical.**
**
You clearly have no interest in this discussion. You are being rude, argumentative and completely irrational but I suppose that's what's happens when to quote you .... " a thick parent"! Tries to have a conversation .

Keirela you seem to have really strong opinions on this subject. Were you ever smacked? How has it affected you?

If someone walloped my child I would call the police. It's not hypocritical. I wouldn't let someone put my kid in the car and take them to the park without my knowledge either as that would be kidnap but I can do it! Your points of view are really odd!