smacking???

[Suzy4321]

Hi , I'm just curious what's people's views on smacking.

Before anyone gets on their soap box I literally mean a hand tap! Not beating or any force.

I remember when I was young I was smacked only when really playing up as a last resort. It never damaged me in any way.

Again only smack ( light hand tap) not legs and never face.

Like I say just curious

My mum smacked me a lot. I've did smack ds once, he bit Me during a tantrum(age 3 ish maybe bit older) and wouldn't let go and I smacked his hand. Felt bloody horrific and cried for ages after.I hated the thought of my child being frightened of me.

I hate the thought of smacking honestly thought I would never do it.

But I have an escape artist for a son who has no speech and understands very little.

So after he got out of the garden in the summer and was brought back to me in a strangers car I smacked him the next time he left the garden. I've only done it twice but it seemed to have gotten the message through that many other techniques couldn't.

I have smacked my two in the past but it was not good. I smacked both when they just would not stop fighting each other in the morning when I was trying to get everything done and set off to school. Not a great example to give - stop thumping each other or I'll smack you!

However both seemed to find me more scary when I shouted apparently!

Someone I know once said to their child "if you are not gentle with your sister I will smack you" If that's not stupid I don't know what is.
There are always other options, I would be horrified if my child was scared of me.

I don't see the issue with smacking. when I was little I was smacked only twice - I was also told to hit back if I had to. I was told never let anyone bully me - if someone bullied me I was to hit them. I did get hit by someone and when I went home crying I was dragged round to their house and told to hit them back - I remember crying but was told to hit them - I did hit them and they never hit me again.

I don't think smacking when behaviour is extreme creates fear or panic in children - children don't think their parents are going to hit them every time they are playing. when I grew up smacking was normal - we didn't all grow up to go out fighting and hitting everyone but no one bullied us either. I think children should be taught to fight back or hit back and defend themselves and no you shouldn't let your children be hit or bullied.

If an adult, who can defend themselves, did something "naughty" or wound you up, would you smack them? Of course you wouldn't. So why would you do it to a defenceless child?

Smacking is never right. All it teaches is that mummy/daddy wanted to upset/hurt me.

It's not necessary but there are worse things you can do! I smacked my 3 year old on the hand once (she's 12 now). She was refusing to walk down the road, it was raining and she was biting my hand. I had been trying to use super nanny tactics by time out by the side of the road etc. to be honest going against my instincts and messing about with other people's ideas of discipline just stressed me out. I admit 9 years later and with a bit more experience and maturity there were other options. If I was in the situation again I think I'd just pick her up. However I absolutely hate time out now and super nanny. I have a baby now and one on the way, not planning to smack but I wouldn't judge others who do. It's not abuse in my opinion it's just unnecessary. There are better ways.

No. Never. It's assault. The preserve of the ineffective (and usually thick) parent.

So Kerala1 smacking wrong, but personal insults like thick are fine.

I'm far from thick or ineffective thanks very much.

Wow kerala1

Nice lessons for children there, don't hit them, just judge everyone as thick and ineffective.

Sticks and stone might never hurt me but names may cause permanent psychological damage.

No. Never. It's assault. The preserve of the ineffective (and usually thick) parent.

At the moment the law doesn't see it as assault so by calling parents thick you are being judgemental.

Yes I am being judgmental of course I am.

Anyone who thinks they can teach children how to behave by belting them is thick. Hth

Kerela wow what an intelligent comment! I don't think you are judgemental I think just THICK!

See I hear both sides and I suppose it comes down to the circumstances.

I would love to say that I won't smack but it depends on the situation, I'm not going to judge those that do and those that don't.

Tough call.

Nah I'm not thick thanks. I am perfectly entitled to my views and stand my them. I would not voice my opinion to other parents in real life because I am polite. But you asked on an anonymous forum and that is my view. And that of many others I think you will find.

KERALA1 you're a bit thick aren't you...

So after he got out of the garden in the summer and was brought back to me in a strangers car I smacked

how about keeping an eye on your son so he doesn't escape in the first place.

Parents who hit smack their children are shit parents. It really is as simple of that.

I was smacked and it has seriously affected my life in ways I won't go into because to be frank, they are too painful.

I genuinely don't understand why smacking is not a criminal offence, how can it be legal to hit a child?

And has for hitting someone back if they hit you and don't be bullied, I think that is genuinely some of the worst advice I've ever heard.

Smacking is abhorrent. I think the it never did me any harm argument rarely stands us when the harm it's done is clearly teaching the person proclaiming it that smacking a child is a valid option. That is very harmful.

Exactly Boo.

Love all these people calling me thick. Hilarious! As if anything the pro smacking brigade has to say would be of any interest to me. Enjoy your thread!

I think if you think smacking is an effective way of parenting then you are either thick or deranged.

I hate it. If I see some adult abusing a tiny child in a shop I just want to smack them about the head to see how they like it.
Breaks my heart to see little things humiliated.
I'll never forget this small little thing (maybe 4), roaring sobbing with her 'mum' slapping her and dragging her and the child was distraught.
There is no need for it. It's barbaric.

BooAvenue I didn't realise you were at my home at the time, did you know the full circumstances before you made that comment?
My mother smacked me as a child it never impacted me. My stepfather did it too unfortunately that has effected me but he was cruel I would never ever do that to my children.

I hate it. If I see some adult abusing a tiny child in a shop I just want to smack them about the head to see how they like it.
Breaks my heart to see little things humiliated. I agree that is absolutely awful and there's no need at all.

And that of many others I think you will find.

You may find equal numbers in both sides actually.
It would then change dependant on country, social environment and likely economical too.

To white wash every parent who smack as "Thick and ineffective" is closed minded amd prejudice that ignores many many factors.

Just I don't need to be there.

It happening once I can understand, everyone takes their eye off the ball for a minute sometimes. But if you knew your son was an escape artist why were you not watching him like a bloody hawk? You smacked your son for something that was IMO probably your fault.