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ok roll up weirdies who NEVER leave their kdis wiht anyone

211 replies

TheDaVinciCod · 02/11/2006 09:46

where are you all?
let me peer at you and prod you

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
wannaBe1974 · 02/11/2006 13:11

my mum will babysit for me if we go out for dinner (maybe once every three months), obviously I leave him with dh, and he goes to preschool 5 mornings a week but other than that I don't leave him with anyone. I didn't let my mum take him out on her own until he was about 7 months old and it was a disaster - she dressed him up too hot and he ended up being sick and screamed for the whole time he was there (despite the fact he was generally a very placid baby) so my confidence in leaving him was severely shaken after that and it was about another year before I left him with her again after that.

My mum was constantly on at me to leave him with her, kept telling me that I must need a break etc but I think a part of me thought that if I left him too much she would throw it back at me and tell her friends that I relied on her and was unable to cope.

My sister on the other hand put her ds1 in nursery from the age of 4 months where he went from 8-6 mon-fri and then spent at least one day a weekend with my mum - my sister was quite proud of the fact she only had to cook for him one day a week.

wannaBe1974 · 02/11/2006 13:15

actually am also in agreement with Franny - my ds wouldn't have been happy being left with anyone but my dh until he was about 2. My mum used to tell me that I should let him go to her more and more because if I didn't he would become too clingy wtf?

My mum has only ever had him over night three times and that was when we went away - I wouldn't send him round there if we were staying home it just wouldn't feel right not having my ds here when I woke up in the morning.

PinkTulips · 02/11/2006 13:20

my dd is 21 months and has been left twice, once when she was 8 weeks and it was a disaster, my mom didn't get her dressed for bed, spent more time rinsing a nappy cover that didn't need to be rinsed than looking after her, forced far too much ebm down her and announced when we got home that she'd been hysterical the whole time. when asked why she didn't call (we were only 15 mins away) she said she didn't want to bother us.

we had to leave dd with her again when i was having ds. she was desperate for me to keep her up but we put her to bed (well past her usual time) before we went to the hosp and she dragged her back out 10 mins after we left (she was asleep when we left i made sure of that) and she was still awake at 1am when we phoned to tell her how things went. she's obsessed with taking her for walks along busy roads but doesn't need the buggy or see much use in holding hands

dp's parents have taken her for walks when we visit but his mom has a habit of telling us she's going up to the garage with her and disappearing for 5 hours. when she comes back it turns out she never bothered going to the garage but always intended going to someones house, but felt the need to lye to us, as if i'd object? quite worrying not knowing where the hell my baby is though.

we have no-one close by to babysit and both families are lunatics, what would you do?!

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PinkTulips · 02/11/2006 13:21

oh sorry, my bf came up to visit once and shooed us out of the house and babysat and it was FABULOUS!!!!!!!

busybusymum · 02/11/2006 13:25

I have 4 kids from ages 6-11 years and they have never been left with anyone other than very briefly with grandparents, if we have been visiting them and DH and I have nipped out to the shops (max 2hours)

Dont have a babysitter, dont go out together in evening! Went out for a meal for my 40th Grandparents babysat, we ate we came home

Dont miss going out at all!

nailpolish · 02/11/2006 13:27

youve never had a night out with your dh or friends in 11 yrs?

thats a shame

PutAnotherTwigOnTheBonfire · 02/11/2006 13:27

don't have relatives nearby

occasionally friends babysit

during the day I'll foist DD on whoever will have her

but no in general at night I go out and DH babysits .. I have far more fun that way .. who the hell wants to go out with the person they live with day in, day out ... what on earth can you have to talk about?

PinkTulips · 02/11/2006 13:32

should also add it hasn't affected her social skills at all. was at a mum and toddler thing the other day and while feeding ds she wandered off as she's apt to do. found her traipsing around the hotels banquet room with one of the housekeeping staff by the hand chattering away to her. she has a frightening tendancy to head off with strangers in supermarkets too

and she'll be starting playgroup 2 days after her second birthday as shes too young til then, sob!

busybusymum · 02/11/2006 13:36

I have been out twice on my 30th and 40 th birthdays. (Drank enough at 30th to have it still in my blood stream )

I dont actually miss going out with DH
I have been to friends houses, socials at school etc but then DH is home with the kids.

I do enjoy being at home . I do loads of things and dont just sit in front of the TV.

Mellowma · 02/11/2006 13:51

Message withdrawn

TheDaVinciCod · 02/11/2006 13:51

snigger at weirdies and control freaks

OP posts:
Bozza · 02/11/2006 13:51

Well I actually quite enjoy going out with DH. Although the last time we did was July.

Cashncarry · 02/11/2006 13:57

So Cod I see you think it's weird that Mellowma lets her PIL have her DCs every weekend but you also think it's weird when people don't leave the kids at all (not a criticism just an observation..)

which do you think is worse - "helicopter" parenting or "absentee" parenting (no offence Mellowma - just couldn't think of another similarly emotive description)?

ps not meaning to be argumentative - just interested ...

Helicopter · 02/11/2006 13:59

I have a DS aged 10 and a DD aged 14 and they have never ever ever been anywhere without me. They are home schooled and if they visit other children, they go together with me. WE all sleep on a big mattress in teh same room.

Cashncarry · 02/11/2006 14:00

Helicopter - stop taking the piss, this is a serious discussion

lockets · 02/11/2006 14:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Helicopter · 02/11/2006 14:01

I'm not taking the piss. I think its perfectly acceptable.

lanismum · 02/11/2006 14:02

dont care if im a wierdy, dd is better off with me than she would be with dps freaky family, so its an easy choice for me

Cashncarry · 02/11/2006 14:03

Helicopter - didn't I see you on that "breastfeeding till your kids are 21" documentary?

wannaBe1974 · 02/11/2006 14:03

I think there can be middle ground though.

Often people who never leave their children do so either because they don't feel the need to, or because they don't have a support network of people that they could leave them with. In the latter case it is very sad IMO, esp if someone wants to go out/have a break but is unable to due to lack of support.

But people who leave their children at every opportunity ... and I risk being shot here, but IMO do so because they either are not coping, which is also dreadfully sad, or because they do not enjoy parenting. why else would someone willingly leave their children with other people at every available opportunity? and I'm not talking about people who leave them to go to work/when they are at preschool/playgroup.

Helicopter · 02/11/2006 14:08

Possibly Cash n carry, although I plan to continue until they are at least 18.

I have it honed to a fine art. I have adapted my jeans so I just tuck my breasts into my waistband, then pop the nipples out of my pockets. My two love to lay on the sofa having a feed like this, and I don't get cold.

poppadum · 02/11/2006 14:09

Are we going to form camps now and throw stones at each other like the SAHM's/WOHMs?

Helicopter · 02/11/2006 14:10

Yes.

I'll be the boss of "never leave your children"

Cod can be boss of "leave them with anybody"

[girds loins]

Cashncarry · 02/11/2006 14:10

can't speak

laughing too hard fanta just came out of my nose!!

ps you can't be cod, you're typing is too good

Mellowma · 02/11/2006 14:10

Message withdrawn

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