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Parenting

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Original poster

Is anyone here one of three children?

73 replies

crayon · 31/10/2006 18:49

I was a bit horrified to read the replies lower down to the post about whether it is a good idea to have three children. A few people said they were one of three and that they felt one child was defintely left out,

Does anyone have any experience of being one of three? What was it like?

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USAUKMum · 31/10/2006 20:01

I'm the eldest of three. My sister is 4.5 yrs younger and my brother 5.8 yrs younger. And the only thing I have to say is that I always had to sit on the end of the table in resturants, thus always being hit by waitresses. And at theme parks I had to go by myself. but otherwise, I wasn't left out at all -- but did have a SAHM

nutcracker · 31/10/2006 20:11

I am one of three. I have a brother who is 4 years older, and a brother who is 2 years younger.

I honestly can't say that I remember feeling left out particularly. My brothers shared a room so I did sometimes get the 'your not coming in our room' bit, but not often.

I played more with my younger brother I think, but I can remember us all playing basket ball and tag rugby in the garden too.

I have 3 kids and it is sometimes hard to give them all the right amount of attention and if I had to pick, i'd say Dd1 got left out the most, but again they all have their moments and are happy sometimes playing together and sometimes on their own.

80sMum · 31/10/2006 20:22

I am the middle child of 3 sisters and sometimes yes, I did feel like the 'odd one out.' My elder sister was the eldest - and hence had all the privileges of age and did everything first; my younger sister was 'the baby' and tended to be treated differently from my older sister and I because of that. It always seemd to me that whenever there was a responsibility or a chore to be done, I was one of 'you two older ones' who should know better, help more in the house etc. Whenever there was a privilege to be had, such as staying up late, going out etc I was one of 'you two younger ones' for whom it was always time for bed!! I didn't feel I had a role. It would have been easier perhaps if I'd been a boy, then at least I would have had my own unique place in the family.
Interesting to read other people's experiences. Also interesting to note that both of my sisters say they always felt that I was mum's favourite when we were children!

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hatwoman · 31/10/2006 20:30

I'm one of three. dbs are 8 and 6 years older. it was fine. dbs never really got on but that would have been the same regardless of me putting in an appearance - it was not to do with family dynamics, they just don;t get on. if anything I possibly moderated the extent to which they didn't get on by being the one they both got on with. I think they probably both thought I was a bit spoilt cos I was the youngest and the girl, but I don't think it bothered them that much, and my mum was impossibly fussy about being fair so I think they knew really that such thoughts were ill-founded. The age gap meant that in many ways I felt like an only child, so perhaps we didn;t have the dynamics of 3 siblings who are close in age and who play together - I never played with either db. just went out to drink with them when I was 16 and the gap finally started to shrink

poppyseed · 31/10/2006 20:30

I'm the youngest of three and the only girl. Daddy's girl . Elder brother 15 years older and younger one 7 years older than me. Due to the HUGE gaps between us all I never felt as though I was left out - how mum did it I don't know .

PurpleRabbit · 31/10/2006 20:31

I'm the eldest of three (brother nearly two years younger, sister nearly four years younger). My sister and I are much closer than either of us is to our brother, but I think that's more to do with individual personalities than position in the family or size of family. DH (also one of 3) and I are thinking about starting ttc DC2, and I might well want another one after that - definitely don't think three is a problem size of family.

saltire · 31/10/2006 20:32

My situation is a bit like piffles. i am the eldest of three, only13months between me and brother A, 6years between me and brother B.
When i was younger i learned from a very early age to "help" around thehouse, as did brother A, to a lesser extent. Brother B did nothing. Then it was always me
"Help your mu do the washing up"
"Help your mum with the washing"
and the one which caused me the most annoyance
"Take brother B with you" Have you any idea how uncool it is to be 15 and have to traily our 9 year old brother round with you. I was always daddy's girl though, i loved my dad. he was ill a lot in my childhood, and i missed a lot of time visitng him in hospital, somethingwhcih caused (and still does) a lot of distress, then he died, and even more pressure was out on me, iwas told i hadn't to cry or get upset, because i was the eldest and had to be strong.
Brother A is now, in everyone elses eyes, this greaat person. I'm originally from this little town, and when i go back all i get is
"Oh your brother's doing well, he has a baby blah blah". No mention of "how are you saltire.
As for brother B - he's a feckin idiot and i could fill a physciatrists diary talking about him.
Ok, i have that almost off my chest, sorry for ranting, i just bottle it all up, and if i try and talk to mum about how i feel she ignores me

hatwoman · 31/10/2006 20:32

just thinking about it dh has 2 younger sisters and the middle one says being the middle of 3 (close in age) was crap

Original poster

crayon · 31/10/2006 21:16

Oooggs - DS3 is only 10 weeks old, so a bit early to tell if he will get on with his brothers!

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Original poster

crayon · 31/10/2006 21:21

NikkiCyprus - 20 minutes - there is no way that my 3 get 20 minutes each a day. I guess DS3 does because I breastfeed him when the other two are in bed, but DS1 and DS2 don't - at least not when DS1 is home from school. Apart from anything else they are glued at the hip and separating them would be hard on the one that was left out. Mmmmm, food for thought!

OP posts:

TheDaVinciCod · 31/10/2006 21:21

yes no wasnt left out

CaptainCaveman · 31/10/2006 21:24

I'm the youngest of 3, (1 boy, 2 girls) and I was the most spoilt. Mind you, bro and sis used to gang up on me and tell me I wasn't wanted!!

However, also lots of memories of me and bro ganging up on dsis, and me and dsis ganging up on bro to pull his long girly hair.

pooka · 31/10/2006 21:25

I'm one of three. Have two older brothers - eldest 6 years older and middle is 4.5 years older.
Yes - suppose I was kind of left out of their world, because they were close in age and they're boys.
But loved it -still do. Am only girl and youngest - lovely position to be in.
Feel that the toughest position is the middle one - my younger older brother. He had the annoyance of being a second son, so competition with elder brother, and not the lovleliness of youngest child position.

bramblina · 31/10/2006 21:33

I am youngest of 3 girls. Eldest 10 yrs older than me (different father) and middle one 2.5 yrs older. We are all quite close, obviously when growing up eldest was at college while we were in primary so that changed things a little. If anything I think I was "babied" a little but I think that's more down to my Mum wanting to have 4 children and not being able to, had she then I don't think she'd have held on to her baby as much, IYSWIM. I'm closer with my eldest sister now, as we both live in the same country and have children, but that's the only reason. We are all close, as such. So in our case, the age gap and the fact Mum never got her 4 meant I was spoiled and we couldn't be as close as poss (ie eldest schooling was quite different) but if plans had gone better I think being one of 3 would mean no difference to me.

Except I'd be one of 4 YKWIM!

RancidRhubarb · 31/10/2006 21:34

I'm one of 6, dh is one of 7. I loved having so many brothers and sisters to look after me!

PetitFilou1 · 31/10/2006 21:48

Yes, have two younger sisters. My middle sister definitely suffered feeling left out and has always felt like the black sheep of the family - she had a dire adolescence. Mind you, hasn't put me off, still want three. Whether I will or not though I don't know. Love my two but am not exactly a natural earth mother and not sure if I want to rock the boat again......

SecondhandRose · 31/10/2006 21:49

I am the youngest of 3, don't remember much, my oldest DB was 6 years older than me. No hangups about it.

annaspanner · 31/10/2006 23:23

I'm the middle of three- I have two brothers, a year younger and a year older. We were treated differently but equally. My older brother was the wilder one, I was the responsible (boring) one who studied hard and never got into trouble but was a real daddy's girl, my younger brother was always treated as though he was younger than he was. But I think we all had a great childhood, not so much because there were three of us but because our parents made a special effort to be better parents than theirs were. Both sets of grandparents had a son and daughter and both gave the boy (and his children)special treatment-so while my mum suffered sometimes, my Dad enjoyed his childhood.

None of us three were left out by our parents, although during different periods of our childhood two of us were always ganging up on the other one, but I think that's natural.

I'd love 3, but as my first will be born just after my 37th birthday,I'm not sure it'll happen.

busybusymum · 31/10/2006 23:32

I am one of three. Brothers a year either side of me.
Hated it, always left out and teased awfully. Parents worshipped the boys and still do!

No hang ups as such just didnt enjoy childhood, From age of about 11 I was alwasy expected to do the washing, ironing and house work but older brother always said he was doing homework (yeah right!!) younger just wasnt expected to do anything! He was the favourite and parents openly admitted this. Wasnt supported in anything I did or wanted to do

As a consequence I left home at 16 (as soon as I could) and dont have a close relationship with my mum!

Sorry thats all a bit negative, on the plus side I am a good with a iron and can stand up for myself

BonfireNemo1977 · 31/10/2006 23:35

I am one of three. I have 2 sisters who are 7 and 8 urs younger than me. We went through roundabouts of who was left out depending on what we did. My two sisters are closer to each other than to me.

Am now expecting no.3 and will have a 3.3yr old and a 13mth old so no huge gaps but think it just depends on your children if someone feels left out.

schneebly · 31/10/2006 23:36

I was one of three and dont think any of us felt left out.

Clary · 31/10/2006 23:37

I am one of three - middle child, second daughter - and often felt that my sister had done everything before me. But that would have been true had I been one of two, or four, tbh.

BTW I am closer to her than my brother but then she is a girl like me.

I'm glad my DD is the only girl (as she is the middle child).

CorpseBride · 31/10/2006 23:56

Both my DH and I are the youngest of 3 (which historically means we're the best looking, the smartest AND the funniest). My eldest sister is 7 years older than me and my brother 2. We are not particularly close and never were.

I currently have 3 children aged 2, 3 & 5 (there's less than 3 years between them all). They get on very well and we actively encourage them to be a team. We are probably having a 4th but not because I'm scared that 3's a crowd.

WriggleJiggle · 01/11/2006 00:26

I'm youngest one of three and I loved it.

jabberthefriendlyghost · 01/11/2006 00:59

I'm the youngest of three. But, my brothers are 12 and 10 years older, so the family dynamics went more like: youngest boy = baby of the family, me only girl so treated rather special b/c of that. It worked out fine. I am very, very close to my oldest brother still. We talk on the phone several times a week.

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