What should I call my vagina?!

[RedDwarfPosse]

Apologies for the straight-to-the-point headline, but i need some advice on this...

Yesterday evening, while taking a bath with my 2.4yo DS, we were playing a body parts game, where I ask him what certain parts of the body are called... eg. I point to his nose, ask him what it is, he tells me, then I ask him to show me where mummy's nose is, etc.

Off his own back, he pointed to his penis and exclaimed "my willy!". I praised him for knowing what it was. But then he pointed to my 'lady parts' and said "mummy's willy!" I proceeded to correct him with "no mummy is a girl, girls don't have willies, girls have..." and then I was totally stumped. I didn't know what to tell him!

Vagina/vulva is far too technical & blunt - he doesn't need to know it's correct anatomical term just yet - but all other euphemisms are vulgar. As children my sister and I were told it was our "front bottom" which now makes me want to die knowing we went around calling it that! And I remember my friend at school calling it her "tuppence" which makes me want to gag, bleurgh!

What do you call it for the sake of your infants innocence?
(He's my first child and I really don't want to scar him for life!)

'We had flat Willys and wiggly Willys in house' Excellent!

Dd when very young used to say china instead of vagina and once when spending time with my parents had reason to mention a small problem to my mum about that area. My poor dad, attempting to show an interest, thought she was doing a geography project about China at school

Only on Mn have I seen anybody get so bothered about being anatomically 100% on this. Then again I can't ever remember really ever discussing it with anyone else much in RL except maybe occasionally the doctor and even then there were never any misunderstandings.

I know, but I feel I'd rather use a real word rather than make one up or use another with a very accepted meaning (fairy, tuppence) if that makes sense. And dick, cunt, knob etc don't tend to be used in a positive way (although obviously not suitable for a child to use!).

Also, I don't know how common it is to know the literal translation - for example patella is 'little shallow dish' and acetabulum is 'vinegar cup' (more or less), but most people would translate them as kneecap or part of the pelvis.

My DM called her's Miranda! I just refer to mine as lady bits.

polka how about mons veneris?

(or Fanny Hill in the vernacular)

Madge the vag

When I was a teen my best friend and I called it our vajayjay! I thought we were the only ones!

I think with dd I will use vagina and bits. Maybe gina and maybe vajayjay I'm not sure.

I will probably explain vulva to her but as I myself only learnt about vulvas on MN when I was pregnant, I dont feel ready to start calling it that! Please don't cyber-kill me.

Mine use the word ninny! Though my five year old dd asked me when I was in the bath last week if I was "going to shave my hairy pinge" strange

Another noony user here! I've no interest in hearing a 3yo say the word vulva. Or penis.

I don't understand using vagina at all. It's not anatomically correct therefore it's no different to using foof, foo, min, etc etc. I mean use it if you want but not on "I like to use the correct terminology" grounds.

Red we use mini and winky in this household with 3 yr old DS, and I'm a child protection social worker!

If people want to use anatomically correct names then that's fine and absolutely their choice, but your desire to find something that feels more appropriate for you, at his current age, is equally valid I think. I've not come across this level of focus on using vulva and penis anywhere else but MN, and I would guess talk to more families about this than the average person!

In terms of CP and abuse etc, I would say it's vastly more important to have conversations with children about their 'bits', whatever words we use, and what appropriate boundaries for them are in terms of privacy and touching. Sounds like you're open to having those discussions in an relaxed way with your DS, which is great, whether you choose to use vajajay, fanny, or la-la!!

Ds keeps saying 'mama willy all gone'

I'm using fanjo but recently discovered it may not be appropriate. Just thought it was a good willy equivalent!

And he can say willy perfectly. If I tried to make it penis he'd say something else which may not be as clear so think willy is perfect from child protection angle.

My mum taught me the correct names from beginning and I have so much respect for her for doing this.
There is so much shame around female genitalia that I think teaching them flowery little nicknames does girls a great disservice.

Sorry Regina but "shave your hairy pinge" just gave me a proper belly laugh, where do they get this stuff?!

We use Wilma - female version of Willy.

The dc also know the technical terms, although "penis" was misheard as "peanuts" which seems to have stuck.

Lol @ Wilma. I can only think of Fred Flintsone yelling 'Wiiilmaaa!'

Yes, yes itsbetterthananox. Vagina (though DD 3 does pronounce it gina) and penis is this household. Breasts rather than boobies too. At Christmas, my cousin kept referring to my breast milk as "baby booby milk". He's 42. Shudder.

Ha, itsbetterthanaBox, sorry!

We call it a 'chuff '

We've always said 'gina' said like the shortened version of Virgina. Works for us. Dd is 6 and has been saying this since she was about 3

I've not come across this level of focus on using vulva and penis anywhere else but MN

Heh, me neither. I'm all for not being prudish about genitals and giving it a reasonable name, but it amuses me how this seems to be one area where people get quite so het up.

I mean, most people don't get obsessed about teaching their 3 year old the difference between their nose, nasal cavity and sinuses, or insist that breasts are always called breasts rather than boobs, or that they differentiate between anus and buttocks when saying their bottom hurts, do they?

Fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itself.

Do you know what, I don't care if you call it your magic mushroom hut or a dingly dangly doodah. The problem is in the deruding of other people's choices. Do what is right for YOU. What I think most peope object to is the revulsion that accompanies the correct terms. People squeal and shudder and declare vulva ugly or inappropriate. Wrong from the mouth of babes somehow. It is unfair, demeaning socialisation and the denigration of women which did this. Same misogynist bullshit which causes cunt or twat to be misappropriated as some of the worst insults you can use.

The argument that we have nicknames for other body parts doesn't necessarily stand up to scrutiny. We all know what knee means. We don't need to say patella. We just have a common term. What didn't happen was people squirmed over a word, shuddered and blushed, declared would nobody think of the children and decided it was a bendy jiggly doo.

Call it what you want. Realistically, it won't matter. If the child is brought up to respect and celebrate their body as part of a wonderful whole, it is just naming of parts but sometimes it is important to examine why you react the way you do to an issue.

OP you claim medical indifference to terms but couch things in interesting, loaded language. You cringe and bleurgh and shudder at the terminology you used to use or another person used. Consider this:

"What do you call it for the sake of your infants innocence?
(He's my first child and I really don't want to scar him for life!)"

I appreciate you were probably being tongue in cheek a bit but alongside your cringing over other terms and the implication that naming a vulva equates loss of innocence is why people react to this the way they do.

"I don't like the word vulva, what other words do you use?" Fine.
"Eurgh, tuppence. Bleurgh. My poor child's innocence, wtf do I do to protect him from vulvas?" Bit loaded, no?