What should I call my vagina?!

[RedDwarfPosse]

Apologies for the straight-to-the-point headline, but i need some advice on this...

Yesterday evening, while taking a bath with my 2.4yo DS, we were playing a body parts game, where I ask him what certain parts of the body are called... eg. I point to his nose, ask him what it is, he tells me, then I ask him to show me where mummy's nose is, etc.

Off his own back, he pointed to his penis and exclaimed "my willy!". I praised him for knowing what it was. But then he pointed to my 'lady parts' and said "mummy's willy!" I proceeded to correct him with "no mummy is a girl, girls don't have willies, girls have..." and then I was totally stumped. I didn't know what to tell him!

Vagina/vulva is far too technical & blunt - he doesn't need to know it's correct anatomical term just yet - but all other euphemisms are vulgar. As children my sister and I were told it was our "front bottom" which now makes me want to die knowing we went around calling it that! And I remember my friend at school calling it her "tuppence" which makes me want to gag, bleurgh!

What do you call it for the sake of your infants innocence?
(He's my first child and I really don't want to scar him for life!)

RedDwart, actually we don't use any of those euphemisms. But it might just be us that are weird .

My mum made us call it front bottom. Usually in a whisper and only if it was impossible to avoid.

This in turn, made me decide to not be bloody stupid about it and call an arm an arm, a leg a leg, a vulva a vulva and a penis a penis.

This, of course, bit me right on the backside, more than once. Kids are not quiet.

So having been ridiculously coy front bottom, blunt as hell penis and vulva and mortified in the middle of sainsbury's I'd say find any word, any word at all that you feel comfy with. How about some really daft word? Something stupid that thoroughly amuses you. Or mim, or gina or, well, pick something that doesn't give your pelvic floor the workout of its life with all the cringing.

Really the most important thing is not what you call it, it's the attitude towards it. You can be open and matter of fact, even if you call it your sparkly doodah and you can be closed off and embarrassed about it even if you call it your vulva.

I'd say the most important thing is the message you give about private parts of the body and about good touching and bad touching, etc.

So why the drama and the angst and the post? Did you worry over wee wee or toosy pegs? No, they just came naturally probably. Just a babyfied version that result from a child not being able to say the word.
Say the correct word and the same thing might happen for body parts and that is fine. There is another issue that if a child is ever touched inappropriately, then they need to be able to say where. And saying he touched my foo foo is more confusing than anything else .

Vagina. I have just done a safety course with the dcs and we were told that it is very important that dcs learn to use proper names of the private parts of their body.

I've just read piratespoo,s post and that is the reason - it is clear what a child is talking about if touched inappropriately. Your ds should call his willy his penis.

FenellaFellorick ^Really the most important thing is not what you call it, it's the attitude towards it. You can be open and matter of fact, even if you call it your sparkly doodah and you can be closed off and embarrassed about it even if you call it your vulva.

I'd say the most important thing is the message you give about private parts of the body and about good touching and bad touching, etc.^

I totally agree, very well put!

As we are open about our body's (as we really don't want him to grow up thinking it's taboo), he does like to openly tell people about the new parts of the body he has learnt about, which once included him prodding at my breasts and exclaiming to my father-in-law "mummy's boobies!"

I really don't think I'd like him to, for example, point at my 'lady parts' and inform random people of "mummy's vulva!" or tell strangers in the street "my penis!" ...somehow I just find it a little too blunt for a 2 yr old.

We have explained to him that wee-wee's come from his willy, and now he likes to tell us when he's done a "willy wee-wee". It's not even remotely prudish or making him think it's taboo - he is openly and happily telling us about his achievement at doing a wee-wee. If he was to use the correct names and say "penis urination" I'm afraid I would find that incredibly strange!

If my son was ever touched inappropriately and he wanted to tell me, and he used the word "willy" I wouldn't be confused, I'd know exactly what he was talking about, as would anyone else.

And there is no drama or angst, was just keen to know what other names people used for this area of the body to their infant children.

Why does eveything have to turn into personal attacks on this site?!

Call it Nigel.

PatrickStarxx Lmao! Nigel - the best suggestion yet!

I have two boys. They know all about sex, periods, contraception, birth, everything. But I still call my vulva my "lady garden".

If my son was ever touched inappropriately and he wanted to tell me, and he used the word "willy" I wouldn't be confused, I'd know exactly what he was talking about, as would anyone else.

But if your daughter used eg the word fairy, ("uncle likes to play with my fairy)", to a non-family member, are you confident they would interpret that correctly?

We had flat Willys and wiggly Willys in house :-)

There is no "willy" equivalent for female genitalia.

I don't go around calling my armpit 'my axilla' and most children would use 'tummy' rather than 'abdomen', just as many adults would say 'windpipe' rather than 'trachea' so there is definitely a place in our language for non-medical terms.

Don't refer to the vulva as the vagina though. That is just incorrect and confusing.

The NSPCC had a camping along the lines of 'it doesn't matter what you call it, just tell someone'. There isn't a unified child protection view on this.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine I don't have a daughter. I have one 2yo son. But if I did have a daughter, and I had taught her a euphemism for that part of the body and she used it in a sentence like that, I would be instantly alarmed because I was the one that taught that name and I'd be sure to investigate such a statement from my child.

I don't like how this has suddenly turned into a personal attack on what I would do if my son was sexually abused. I was just looking for some light-hearted names to help my son learn the basic difference between a boy and a girl as I personally don't feel the need to be so technical at his young age.

And, FYI, before I became a SAHM I worked for a medical forensics service arranging examinations for sexual abuse cases, including those of young children, and I was never made aware of children using euphemisms for their genitalia causing issues.

Woo woo

meditrina The NSPCC had a camping along the lines of 'it doesn't matter what you call it, just tell someone

Precisely

Fanny

I would be instantly alarmed because I was the one that taught that name and I'd be sure to investigate such a statement from my child.

Sorry wasn't clear. Obviously you would know, but a teacher or friends parent might think it was pretty innocuous if mentioned in passing.

Did not intend to have a go, but I, and I guess others, have been taught in CP training to avoid non-universal euphemisms (primarily an issue with girls). I would suggest girl/lady bits, not rude, and fairly universally understood

Another one who uses gina. I called it a vagina and dd replied with gina.

Fanny Now that would cause raised eyebrows from a two year old

I always use vagina but do explain vulva too. I don't want any of my girls to feel ashamed of their body and I'd rather they were comfortable talking correctly about their body. I say the same to my boys too.