Is it harmful to leave a baby to cry for short periods?

[RevoltingPeasant]

DD is 7 w old and DH is back at work now. DD is a pretty placid baby but doesn't like to be put down, so I'm normally holding her or she's in a sling. Fine!

But, there are times when I just can't hold her and get stuff done. For example, showering or making a hot drink.

So far, my attitude has been, if she is somewhere safe and warm, with a clean nappy, it is not the end of the world if she cries for periods of, say, 3-7 minutes whilst I dash about boiling the kettle, or hop under a hot shower. I have taken the view that me being washed for the day matters more.

But sometimes she sounds quite desperate when she cries. Am I being cold and damaging her by leaving her for short periods? Or is this inevitable and something everyone does?

Just read thread and all I wanted to say was it sounds like you're doing a brilliant job op Congratulations!

I immacced my baby, she was fine, I was panicing about chemical burns and leaving her with life long allergic reactions.

SillyMilyB went a step,further and fake tanned half of her baby. And he was fine.

These things aren't brilliant, but early motherhood ain't easy.

Look after yourself, smell how you want to. All your baby needs is you, even if that you is in the shower burbling nonsense in the direction of a very cross see baby.

I find giving them a running commentary helps both of you until you are reunited and revelcroed. And is good practise for the toddler years

I used to do a lot of AP things with dd and hardly ever put her down! I could make a sandwich one handed before I got the hang of slings, but I still don't think you should worry about putting her down for 5 minutes. Don't freak yourself out with those mad studies. Make a cup of tea and a , have a shower (although I did have a great sling made of netting for going in water I used to take dd in the shower with me ) but just use common sense and look after yourself.

I was a horrible Mum. My eldest cried continuously and nearly drove me mad. In the end I realised the only way to stay sane was to occasionally put her in her cot and walk away for a while (10 minutes or so). She seems to have suffered no ill effects and is now 25 and expecting my first grandchild.

So was the baby less hairy afterwards?

When I have DD in the sling and a biro in hand, I am sometimes tempted to draw a moustache on her, but even I know this would be Bad Parenting.

Slinky thanks though you might change your mind after the moustache admission

Ha! I think moustache drawing would be bad parenting if you did it to a 13 year old on school photo day. To a baby..... I think it's much more subjective

No. Drowning moustaches on your baby is the best thing ever....you'll treasure the photos.

She had a ten pence sized bald spot on the top of her head. I got away with it toodh wanted to know why she had a hat on indoor all evening the he spent the rest of the evening sniggering. Git.

Drawing!

I do not condone drowning defenceless moustaches*

unless Nigel Farage decides to grow one then it's fine*

** it's also fine to do f he doesn't grow a moustache too.

I see no problem, I only have DS he's now 7mo I remember having " that first poo" and him crying in his bouncy chair I just thought to myself "mate, there's no way I'm rushing this, you will just have to wait" .

he's been left alone to grumble for 5mins here and there whilst I got on with things, as long as it's not a hunger/wet/distressed/pain cry he just needed to be left alone. There is only me mon-fri, so if I want clean clothes, clean me or to eat I have no other choice.

Actually in all honesty, the worst moments are when you first bonk their heads on something.

And when they first roll of the bed / sofa. They NEVER demonstrate that they are mobile and fast on the ground. It's always a raised surface.

honey my worst moment so far was when inquisitive 6mo put hand straight in to dad's black boot polish on floor and then rubbed face with lightning speed . I then had to remove said boot polish but it's bloody hard to get off! he was a funny colour for days

Ah yes - I've had to do the 'walk away and take a few many loooong deep breathes' thing a few times when dealing with prolonged howling.

I think it is fair to say that vast vast majority of babies will have been left to cry for a minute or two here and there and they generally turn out OK!

All four of mine have been fake tanned at some point.
I will never forget my mums face when she asked "what's happened to his face?"
Me "errm I think it's fake tan"
Mum confused "why did you just do one side of his face?"
Wtaf!!! I didn't do it on fucking purpose what kind of mother do you think I am

Shit mary wish you'd said before. Just got through shaving DD :(

I have so far avoided major mishaps but DH has put a baby gro on upside down, like, legs in armholes and vice versa

I've already been accused of neglect due to: having a home birth, taking her for a walk ("she'll catch a chill!"), taking her to Boots to pick up a prescription ("it has a pain, it should be at home!" ), bfing, putting a hat on her ("what a sad cry!" ), and probably some other stuff too that I can't remember right now. Am slowly getting used to it....!

why did you just do one side

I do love MN.

Shit mary wish you'd said before. Just got through shaving DD

I just did a proper lol at that

I was a terrible mother with both of mine for not getting rid of the dog when they were born, breast feeding instead of using Sma Gold, and letting dh name them.

I also had a toddler and a puppy at the same time. That was heaven, no one visited us for 6 months as you could guarantee one of them would either bite you or wee on your shoe. All lip pursing was done else where.

Haha Maryz I think I went a bit crazy with the slings! I also had a towelling one for putting damp baby in after showering OK it was more work than wrapping her an actual towel but it was lovely and soft!

I was a terrible mother because my DS somehow produced tears from birth which meant that every time he cried people thought he was REALLY sad and felt sorry for him.

He still does it now. Great big fat tears rolling down his face at the slightest provocation. DH (who is totally hard hearted to screaming and whingeing) can't cope with it at all, he turns into a total pushover

You can imagine what a faff it was having a shower! Why did I do that??

As a mum of mutiples I can honestly say babies can be left to cry for a few minutes and be fine. Dd1 was 3 and once projectile vomited everywhere while dtds were due a breast feed. They had to wait while I sorted dd1. I could also only feed 1 dtd at a time so feeds were staggered but sometimes that didn't go to plan. Crying baby had to wait their turn. I also didn't carry dtds one at a time to the kitchen so I could make a cuppa - I placed them safely in their travel cot in the living room or play mat and made tea. Dd1 however was constantly on me. Interestingly dtds are much more cuddly and loving now. Dtds also slept well which dd1 did not do.

Sorry to be thick if already mentioned- with my LO, I swaddled her if I needed to do something. I would be able to watch her but she still had the sensation of being close to me.

I don't have kids myself but logic tells me that people with more than one child must do this at least sometimes ? Maybe even several times a day I've no idea.

Those children seem to turn out ok

Blimey Skeeter, I never missed any cuppas! Put baby down, make cuppa, see to baby. It's not rocket science. I wore my pfb before anyone used the term I think, it freed me up to do so many things. This was 24 years ago. I've also used the bouncy chair a lot with all 4 of them.

HoneySwampDragon please do tell! I missed the immacced baby story! I only joined last August!