Mind the Gap! How long did you leave between babies?

[lenny101]

I've just found out I'm expecting dc2. Hooray...... But ds1 is only 9 months old and still breast feeding. He had heart surgery at birth and for lots of reasons has been slow to take to food, but he's getting there. Considering tandem feeding though I know that's not easy.
I also use a wheelchair and am just starting to visualise managing a toddler and a newborn when i can't run after the former!

I just know we'll adapt but tell me about your age gaps. How did you manage?

Also, thank you all. This is really useful

xx

2 years and 9 months between DD1 and DD2, then 9 years before DS1. Pros and Cons each way really, my first two played together and are growing up together (fight like cat and dog now they are 12 and 9), DS1 will not have that same sibling relationship, but the girls are a great help and are absolutely besotted with their baby brother.Also we have had that time with DS1 that you don't get with a toddler running about, but in essence he is going to grow up as an only child, by the time he starts school DD1 will be off to uni!

There are 11 months between my two. I found it really hard going at first but now they are 17 months and 6 months it definitly is a lot easier. I'm actually starting to feel myselfget broody again so it can't be that bad lol!

Im due anytime now and ds is 2. I don't know how i will manage but im sure i will with my support group around me, (better known as family, friends and mumsnet!)

Congratulations

DD was 2 years 4 months when DS was born, was hard work then but nice now they are both at school at 6 and 4.

21 months between dd and ds. ds is now 3 months and dd 2.

i found it so much easier with ds as i knew what to expect. was back on my feet straight away and doesnt feel any different to having just dd.

13 months between dds. It was really hard at first, but now we've got into a routine it's fine. They're becoming friends (even though they're still babies, they are aware of one another, look concerned if the other cries, and they lie facing each other in their cots!)
Good luck and congratulations.

I had 16 months, DS1 now 21 months and DS2 5 months. It has been the hardest 5 months of my life but its getting easier every week now. We planned them that quick to do the short sharp shock thing instead of dragging out the agony with a longer age gap. BUT all our planning went awry as my 9lb DS2 was found to be breach the day before my due date so had cesarean. No family near by to speak of, hubby self employed so didn't get paid paternity leave, and me incapacitated and couldn't even lift toddler into cot for a nap or pin him down to change nappy. Also, only managed mixed feeding with DS2 as he was a big hungry baby and I just couldn't lie there feeding all day as I did with DS1. Not to mention that they never time their naps at the same time so with 2 close together and both at home, the first time baby thing of sleeping when baby sleeps is a distant memory so the tiredness etc is much worse. Also couldn't get out for weeks unable to drive or push double buggy post op so I got quite depressed. Plus points are that I have two adorable boys who seem to adore each other already, and every week that DS1 is older and able to understand small instructions makes it easier. Trying to breast feed a littlun whilst chasing the bigger one round to get his snotty nose, all while I couldn't walk properly post op..... No I'm not having any more!!

4 years between all 3
9y, 5y, 16m

hi

i have the same gap as you, got pg when ds1 as 9 months (planned)

its not that bad, im really enjoying it actully,

DS1 is 22 months now and ds2 is 4 months, i wouldnt
change it for the world

email me if you wanna chat more, [email protected]

Danielle xx

i had 11mths between mine. first 6mths were very hard. now they are nrly 2 and nely 3. its much better!! they are best mates and keep each other entertained.

cx

hertsnessex beats me by a whisker i'd say...

i had 13 months between ds1 and ds2 and 18 months between ds2 and ds3. youngest is now 9 months, oldest 3.4months, with middle son fitting nicely in between. phew!
i am well supported tho. take help offered. demand help if its not . certain stages will be v difficult, but go with the flow and trust your gut on any issues that arise and you'll be fine. theyre all pretty good 'buddies' and v affectionate on the whole, so its all good. plus, the school run will be easier as they grow up and are all in the same place at the same time

I have a 16mth gap between my two, now 6 and 7, and the first year was very hard, but after that it has been great. Now they are best buddies, and I really wouldn't have it any other way. There are lots of advantages as well as the hard work - for example dd is pretty much the same size as ds (the older one), so I never had to worry about him hurting her (occasionally I have worried about her hurting him!), they like to do the same things, and have the same group of friends. dd has probably grown up a bit faster, and I have encouraged them both to be very independant, we also had very little sibling rivalry when they were little, as ds can't acually rememebr life before dd (now they compete like anything, but I think that's inevitable). I would definately go for as much of a routine as possible, and shape it around your ds1, so that his life doesn't change too much when the little one arrives. The one thing that I would say is get as much help as you possibly can, and get it in place before the new baby is born, so that ds1 takes it in his stride (very handy if he is happy to spend time with other people, and isn't too attached to you). Good luck with it, and start learning to be as relaxed as possible! We completely toddler proofed our house (helped that we lived in a flat) so that if ds was having a wild time at home we didn't have to run after him, because he couldn't hurt himself, and I found that helped enormously (although I did have to learn to be relaxed about some of the things he got up to...)

16 mths between my 2 DS's (not planned). DS1 is nearly 3 and DS 2 is nearly 20 mths.
As others have said, the 1st year is the hardest but it flys by when you have 2.
Bringing home the 1st baby was terrifying, bringing home the 2nd was easy as we knew what we were doing.
DS1 was very very jealous of DS2. Feeding times were the hardest. Its all in the past pretty much now though and now they play brilliantly together.

You get time to put your feet up with a cuppa once they are playing nicely together. Ready made friends!

Congratulations and enjoy!

19 months and 22 months between dds 1,2 and 2and 3 respectively and then nearly nine years before ds. Love it - first three are great pals and always have been really. LO is adored by his big sisters who are fab with him and I know that at 3.30pm I can get all those things done which are normally so difficult with a toddler because they will entertain him for an hour before homework calls. First few years with three tinies were hard work but I loved it (most of the time). Now just wondering about no 5? Congratulations on your pregnancy!

The biggest gap is 18 months. The smallest gap is 15 months. It's great and they adore each other!

both gaps - between dd1 and dd2 and dd2 and no3 will be 2 yrs 4 months.

my eldest had sn and was not walking - and I had a c- section with no2 - that was hard not being able to lift dd1. Poor dd2 got dragged to therapy, sn playgroup and various hosp appts (dd1 is also a heartkid!)

Can't help with the running toddler although dd1 started walking at 3 and now I have two to run after. Hate to think what it will be like when I am very pregnant and having to run after 2.

It took me a while to get sorted - no real routine with no2 as I said but things started to fall into place when no2 was about 6 months old.

13years and 10 months between dd1 nad ds1

sorry - just read op this doesn't help you at all - but it's the biggest gap so far and I can recommend having a useful teen around when you're tending to LO

17 months between DS1 and DS2 - really hard work to begin with with - nothing could've prepared me for it! But now its fab as they are 4 & 5yrs and have the same interests and they are (the majority of the time) best buddies. Then i have 4 years between DS2 and DD1 - she is now 12 weeks old - things are hectic and chaotic but luckily DS1 & DS2 adore her

Some really useful advice here for me, thank you!
I agree with the useful teen around bit, I have 2 stepsons,13 and 16, who babysit my 4 year old ds and 5 month old ds. As well as the 12 month gap which will be between 5 month old and pending baby, I REALLY WANT A GIRL!! Everyone please chant together please..."It is a girl, it is a girl...!"

Even the dog's male...I need back-up!

2 years between all mine
dd1 born Sep 01
ds born Sep 03
dd2 born Aug 05

G'morning dahl! Read anti abortion one...god I can waffle lol