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Parenting

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Original poster

Stay at home mums with kids at school, why dont they get jobs??

910 replies

sleepinbeauty · 20/09/2006 16:32

Just a bit hacked off with mums at school, they moan about having no life away from their kids/ not much money, yet they all seem to refuse to get jobs or careers!
why do some women just want to do sweet FA all day when their kids are at school? They seem content for their husbands to slog their guts out at work while they drink cups of tea and watch daytime tv! Dont get it! i think its called laziness??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

lilymolly · 20/09/2006 19:17

Im lucky, my child minder is excellent and have "some" family support. I think its wonderful that some mothers stay at home, but just dont expect that I should pay for it.

Spidermama · 20/09/2006 19:17

Sisters, honestly!

Surely we women have won the right to do what we want balanced with what we need to do. That means if someone chooses to stay at home and is able to do that, excellent! Good for her.

If we choose to go to work and are able to join the workforce, that's great too.

The women I feel sorry for are those who have to work (many women) but would like to be at home with the kids, or the women who want to work but stay at home because their husbands make them or because they haven't the skills or confidence to get a decent job which pays enough to cover childcare.

This is typical, destructive in-fighting which is unpleasant and needlessly divisive.

Sleepinbeauty has had a bad day and wants to vent her spleen. (We all have days like this). She needs to be ignored and left alone until she's in a better mood.

Gobbledigook · 20/09/2006 19:17

So it sounds as though you are being very judgemental from an incredibly fortunate position. Not really on that is it?

Congratulations for having the perfect set up for you. It's not my bag - childminders and playschemes are not the way I wish for my children to be cared for outside of school - therefore I have made other choices that work for me. Is that OK with you?

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Gobbledigook · 20/09/2006 19:19

lilymolly - just how exactly are you paying for me to be at home? I don't think so!

Greensleeves · 20/09/2006 19:19

What a preposterous thread title. Grow up and get a grip, FGS.

lilymolly · 20/09/2006 19:21

Gobbledegook-If thats aimed at me- here is my reply- why should I pay tax to pay someone to look after their child?

Gobbledigook · 20/09/2006 19:21

How am I paid to look after my children?

Original poster

sleepinbeauty · 20/09/2006 19:21

just get part time jobs then, or work from home, or work evenings when your partner gets home,there is a choice!!

OP posts:

lilymolly · 20/09/2006 19:22

I am paying cos I pay tax goes to fund the welfare system for people who really need help.

lilymolly · 20/09/2006 19:24

The welfare system that helps pensions, sickness,redundancy incapacity etc NOT cos someone has a child and decides to stay at home on the governments money

Gobbledigook · 20/09/2006 19:25

Feck off.

You have no idea of people's individual circumstances. Some people can't just do anything!

I'm not asking to paid to look after my children - I'm asking lilymolly to tell me just how her taxes are paying for me to stay at home?

Nobody is subsidising my choice and neither would I wish them to.

Not that it's any of your business, but I do actually work from home. Dh and I support our family and our choices without any help from anybody thank you very much.

Gobbledigook · 20/09/2006 19:26

How am I spending the government's money?

Child benefit, that's all I get. I'm pretty sure you get that too, no?

lilymolly · 20/09/2006 19:29

Raelly do appreciate that not evreyone can get a job so easily that fits in around school etc and that everyones circumstances are different. but I am having a year off work on mat leave to look after dd with Naff all help from government when I have paid taxes for 10 years at a high rate. I am financing myself for 6 months yes its a luxury and I am incredibly fortunate to have this choice. If any women chooses to stay at home I think it is a family decision, a wonderful decision. just dont claim benefits.

AngelaChill · 20/09/2006 19:31

Gooblidegook, if you and your DH work and suport your children then the benefits comment isn't aimed at you.
I resent the fact that my SIL sit on her arse all day claiming for no other reason than she can whilst my nan had to scrimp and save on her crappy pension after years of my grandfather working. I think you'll find many people feel the same.

lilymolly · 20/09/2006 19:31

Gobbledigook you are not the type of women I have a problem with Honest, think its wonderful that you work from home. yes I do have child benefit, everyone gets that.

AngelaChill · 20/09/2006 19:31

lilly wasn't talking about child benefit, were you ?

lilymolly · 20/09/2006 19:33

Nope sorry should have clarified that girls

niceglasses · 20/09/2006 19:33

Sleepin' so sahm with kids of schl age, sahm who claim benefits. Anyone else?? Might as well get it all out.

Totally agree with Spidermama

MrsApronstrings · 20/09/2006 19:34

I don't know anyone who stays at home and claims anything! staying home is not an attempt to 'get out of something',- lots of women work bloody hard at it. cups of tea and now benefits - thats as daft as streotyping working mums as self-centred uncaring women who send their kids to school when they are sick cos they have a meeting. sheesh

Original poster

sleepinbeauty · 20/09/2006 19:35

i have nothing against mums who dont work, just dont moan about how hard it is!!

OP posts:

Kaz33 · 20/09/2006 19:36

Is she talking about tax credits?

Also of course if I work and employed someone to look after my children then i would be contributing to the economy twice over. How selfish of me not to??

StrawberryMoon · 20/09/2006 19:39

..didnt we all know how this was going to tun out!

TBH after thinking about it..the OP basically summs up what a lot of men 'say' we do with our day (esp my dp when we argue) when in actually fact the whole household would fall like a sack of shite if it wasnt for us and they know that but like to 'joke/piss us off' by assuming something so pathetic!

sleeping beauty, did your mum work whilst you were young?

lilymolly · 20/09/2006 19:40

Mrsapronstrings- just let me clarify I was NOT suggesting that all sahm were all claiming benefits, just some. Would not stereotype at all, of course there may be some that claim benefits that really need tham , but please ask yourself i there is just a "tiny weeny" amount of women out there who choose not to work cos its easier to get paid for sitting on you bum?

StrawberryMoon · 20/09/2006 19:41

we wer't moaning sleeping beauty, you were! about some poor soul who had a mountain of ironing, window washing and everyother crappy job that would be left if they didnt do as soon as they got home

drosophila · 20/09/2006 19:41

Haven't read the whole thread but I had a similar conversation with someone yesterday. She gave up work 7 yrs ago and her hubby is only now earning what she earned then. She was bemoaning not having this and that and how hard it was. I pointed out that her hubby LOVED his job and whilst it was not the highest paid job (even though he is highly qualified) that was worth a lot. It transpired that he is now considering leaving this job to get a better paid one so that they can have a bit more of the material things. I think that is real sad but hten I hate my job at the moment.

I do think that some parents don't realise the stress that being a sole earner can put on you. I did it for a while and there is this feeling that your paycheck is what keeps the wolves from the door and that can scare you. I know a couple of Men who have talked to me about how stressful they find it (maybe they talked to me cos I was in same situation).

Personally I get bugger all enjoyment from work and I see lots of advantages in staying at home. The removal of stress would probably make me a better mother but I would worry about how stressed DP would get as sole earner. I worry about the fact that I work PT and cut my salary by about 35%.

I do wonder how many sole earners feel the stress I have described.

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