Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Stay at home mums with kids at school, why dont they get jobs??

910 replies

sleepinbeauty · 20/09/2006 16:32

Just a bit hacked off with mums at school, they moan about having no life away from their kids/ not much money, yet they all seem to refuse to get jobs or careers!
why do some women just want to do sweet FA all day when their kids are at school? They seem content for their husbands to slog their guts out at work while they drink cups of tea and watch daytime tv! Dont get it! i think its called laziness??

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Coolmama · 20/09/2006 18:33

I stay at home because I'm fortuante that I can - it's that simple.

Coolmama · 20/09/2006 18:34

fortunate, even..

Gobbledigook · 20/09/2006 18:34

Good post

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
AngelaChill · 20/09/2006 18:36

I think it's called jealousy

comebacksummer · 20/09/2006 18:37

exactly, coolmama

sugarfree · 20/09/2006 18:39

Where are you SinB? Are you busy using your massive,non-atrophed brain to chair a meeting at the UN?
Some very relevant questions here for you to answer.

sorrell · 20/09/2006 18:42

I would think a big reason is that they don't want their children to have to have to stay at school for ten hours a day, or be shuffled about around playschemes and friends and relatives during the holidays (or their children don't want this). I imagine for many families it is less stressful for one person to work for money and the other to take care of the children. It doesn't mean they will never feel frustrated, or poor because of that choice. Just as women who work might feel anxious or conflicted about their choice. I love hte idea that all men at work are 'slogging their guts out' - drinking tea, having lunch and going to 'meetings' half the day more like in many cases!

comebacksummer · 20/09/2006 18:43

clearly off trying hard to be "someone" arf arf (it's a full-time job, you know...)

Original poster
sleepinbeauty · 20/09/2006 18:45

Alexsmum - i take days off work when my kids are ill, i wouldnt dream of dumping them. As for afterschool childcare, they either go to childminder or i can finish at 3.30 if i start the day at 7.

Luckily, my husband "lets" me work. thank god, imagine if i wasnt allowed...

OP posts:
Original poster
sleepinbeauty · 20/09/2006 18:48

well my dh doesnt have meetings/ whatever you said, he gets up at 4.30am, returns home after 9pm, 6 days a week, he does hard physical work that i know most mums could not compare to house sitting!
(ducks as prepares to get hit)

OP posts:
saggarmakersbottomknocker · 20/09/2006 18:48

What do you do in the holidays SinB? And how old are they?

Blondilocks · 20/09/2006 18:48

Thanks CristinaTheAstonishing - probably a first for me!

It's a really difficult one. I like working but if I was a SAHM I would like doing that too. (OH thinks I'd get bored but unless all computers, baking and books were banned I'm sure I'd be fine while LO was at school!) In the not to distant future I probably won't need to work, but I think I would want to.

It's all down to circumstances & preferences.

Original poster
sleepinbeauty · 20/09/2006 18:51

holidays: they spend half at playschemes with their mates and half with their daddy, who has his weeks off when kids are off.

OP posts:
CarolinaMoon · 20/09/2006 18:51

SinB, what do you do if they're ill for a fortnight?

you must have a v accommodating boss...

nothercules · 20/09/2006 18:52

i dont have to work but quite frankly I like the money.

thirtysomething · 20/09/2006 18:52

completely with you Sorrell - despite being SAHM whilst kids at school 4 days of the week, I find I am too busy to read through all the posts on this thread, for starters.

That's because my DH works 7 days a week mostly and doesn't finish till 10 most nights - he couldn't do the job he does any differently because that's the way it is, he's self-employed. So I very lazily occupy my days doing all the cooking, shopping, washing, other household stuff, bins out, gardening bits, diy shopping/organising, household correspondence, banking, car stuff, you name it, I do every single job. Oh yes and of course doing every single aspect of childcare, homework supervision, music supervision and vast amounts of ferrying around to activities.

So amazingly I a) never have time to watch daytime TV (although occasionally watch a little bit of Dora with dd on my lap!) b) feel that actually I'm also slooging my guts out whilst DH is working whilst he gets paid and I don't and c) fit everything into 4 days so on the 5th I can do voluntary work and I also do as much to help out at school as I can. So call me lazy and worthless but actually I do feel as if I'm making a contribution. I think sleepinbeauty is playing with fire, incredibly judgemental. Why should a woman's value be measured purely in her ability to bring in some pennies?

Original poster
sleepinbeauty · 20/09/2006 18:56

If the kids are ill for more than a week then my dh takes days off too, its not just up to the mother is it??

OP posts:
lilymolly · 20/09/2006 18:56

Have not read whole thread, and fear I may offend someone But i do not mean it, here goes......

What I find frustrating is sahm who claim benefits to stay at home and not work, I feel like I am paying for them to look after their kids whilst I have to work to make ends meet.
However my job is flexible and will allow me to take time off if dd is ill etc. I wish I could stay at home sometimes and look after dd full time,but I would never expect anyone else to pay for it. My neighbour is a sahm, but she does not claim anything as she is not "seeking" work, I think thats fine, bit jealous if I am being honest, but respect her for that.

Right said my piece- will await my punishment

Original poster
sleepinbeauty · 20/09/2006 18:58

God, yes, dont even get me started on people on benefits who dont look for work while their kids are at school..... a whole other thread......

OP posts:
CarolinaMoon · 20/09/2006 18:59

doesn't that eat into his holidays?

Blondilocks · 20/09/2006 19:08

It depends on the workplace. Where I work you can get time off for dependents although you obviously aren't allowed to take the mick with it.

I do feel a bit miffed when some people work really really hard so that they don't go on benefits (know someone who has 3 jobs) while others are quite happy to just get as much as possible without doing anything.

CarolinaMoon · 20/09/2006 19:12

no way would it be ok for dp to take unexpected time off like that.

SinB if you and your dh can do that, you are very very lucky indeed.

lilymolly · 20/09/2006 19:14

Oh thank god- thought the daggers my have flown already, but still waiting......... dying to use that!!

SOULGIRL · 20/09/2006 19:14

Im lucky I do work part time from home, my reasons for not going out to work are:

  1. Full time im worth around £17 - 18,000 per year, part time I will get abour £6,000 if im lucky.
  1. Have no family support to cover extensive school holidays and would therefore LOSE money if I had to pay for childcare.
  1. Have seen the local approved childminders leave kids outside playgroup gates in car park rather than take their buggy into the garden so would not trust anyone else to look after them.
  1. If I had wanted something which would love me and I could leave for 8 hours a day I would have just bought a guinea pig. I chose to have children I chose to nurture them

I find it amazing that after women being told for so long they could not work the trend seems to be to look down on Mums who stay at home.

Original poster
sleepinbeauty · 20/09/2006 19:15

well he takes the days off but doesnt get paid for them.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread