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Original poster

Stay at home mums with kids at school, why dont they get jobs??

910 replies

sleepinbeauty · 20/09/2006 16:32

Just a bit hacked off with mums at school, they moan about having no life away from their kids/ not much money, yet they all seem to refuse to get jobs or careers!
why do some women just want to do sweet FA all day when their kids are at school? They seem content for their husbands to slog their guts out at work while they drink cups of tea and watch daytime tv! Dont get it! i think its called laziness??

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saggarmakersbottomknocker · 20/09/2006 17:18

sleep - I think you are digging an even bigger hole here. Would you like to borrow a spade?

CristinaTheAstonishing · 20/09/2006 17:18

Statements like "my husband won't let me work" (see below) most definitely belong to the '50s.

I also think it's a fair point about both contributing financially if this is a problem. I wouldn't want to see my DH working all hours when I could just as easily put in a few. He likes to be with the kids just as much as I do. I see it more as a measure of respect for him as the friend he was before being my kids' Dad.

Kaz33 · 20/09/2006 17:18

Hey I was a latch key kid because of my mums career - wouldn't wish it on my kids
We could have a go at you for being a selfish c*w who never sees her kids. But then we wouldn't because that will be judgemental !!

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KateF · 20/09/2006 17:18

Mrs Spoon, we had the exact same conversation before dd1 was born and decided that I would stay at home. Dh actually felt much more strongly than me, I would have liked to go part-time. However, I don't think he realised how much he would feel the pressure of having to meet all the bills. Part of me sympathises but part thinks "this is life with three small children-grow up". As so many people have said, interesting jobs within school hours are few and far between and usually poorly paid.

figleaf · 20/09/2006 17:18

We are all someone sleepinbeauty. I feel quite sad for you now. What ever is missing in your life makes you need to define yourself (and in the future your dd) by what you do. I see people as people, not as there job (paid or otherwise). I think you`ll find most nice people do that too.

bossykate · 20/09/2006 17:19

bbs, many families have some degree of control over which adults work or don't work. they have none whatsoever over school hours and school holidays. so i disagree with the implied equivalence of those issues in your post.

figleaf · 20/09/2006 17:19

oops I meant "Their jobs".

hulababy · 20/09/2006 17:20

sleepinbeauty - do you work FT or PT now? Where are your children before and/or after school? Or are you, like myself, in one of the few truely PT, child-friendly hour jobs?

buktus · 20/09/2006 17:21

what are you some f**king brain surgeon sounds like your darling daughter will be put off of motherhood for good with you as a mother or perhaps your only advice will be get a nanny

sugarfree · 20/09/2006 17:21

I'm wasting my brain???????
Wasting my brain listening to this horseshit for sure.
Are you go to tell us that ALL Welsh people are good singers and ALL Scots are mean next?

Wasting my brain,Feck off you don't have a clue what I or anyone else does in my 'spare' time.

sugarfree · 20/09/2006 17:21

I'm wasting my brain???????
Wasting my brain listening to this horseshit for sure.
Are you go to tell us that ALL Welsh people are good singers and ALL Scots are mean next?

Wasting my brain,Feck off you don't have a clue what I or anyone else does in my 'spare' time.

hulababy · 20/09/2006 17:21

LOL @ being "someone" Hahahahah. Everyone is someone. Working does make you someone. Not sure I would want to be the type of someone who can't understand other people's situations well enough to realise they are judging harshly or unfairly!
My daughter? When she grows up - I want her happy. I want her to do what makes her happy - be that work, be a SATM or whatever.

morningpaper · 20/09/2006 17:22

Hahahahaha sleeping beauty

I started JUST this thread about two years ago

It was a good fight

I think if you search the archives under "bloodshed" you might find it

sugarfree · 20/09/2006 17:23

I think she maybe Cherie doing some under cover stuff for Tone.

CarolinaMoon · 20/09/2006 17:24

teehee

buktus · 20/09/2006 17:24

who gives a toss if u think i am in the 50's my dh doesnt want me working as i dont need to

mousiemousie · 20/09/2006 17:25

Isn't everyone allowed to have a moan sometimes?

figleaf · 20/09/2006 17:25

Good post hulababy. Happy is what Id wish for my 2 sons too. They will always be someone to those that love them. I hope sleepingB is someone even when shes not at work.

Tutter · 20/09/2006 17:26

oh no not this again

KateF · 20/09/2006 17:26

Before my time morningpaper . However, if people can refrain from being judgemental or oversensitive there is a potentially good discussion here. Balancing responsibilities for children and financially providing is v.difficult for many couples and I for one find other peoples' opinions and experiences helpful.

beckybrastraps · 20/09/2006 17:26

Well, I don't know. I COULD work (and did so when my eldest was small). But with one preschooler and one at school, I would be juggling two lots of childcare and the impossibility of attending daytime meetings at school (I am a teacher and couldn't take the time off). So, for me, and I should have said that, I can choose either to moan about not having enough money, or moan about complicated (and expensive)childcare and tha fact I can't get time off to go to school things. Of course I could choose not to moan at all, but where's the fun in that!

beckybrastraps · 20/09/2006 17:27

Wow, this is moving fast. That was a reply to bossykate BTW.

morningpaper · 20/09/2006 17:27

My thread was called: "SAHMs whose children are at school - are they just plain lazy?"

And I think that the post on my original thread that I thought rang true was something like:

if you ARE at home all day while your kids are at school, then this is exactly how most of society will view you. You may disagree, but this is how the majority of people think.

wanderingstar · 20/09/2006 17:28

Well we could go all round the houses here, and lots of good points have been made. I'd add that surely the fact that so many mothers of school age children are at home, often by choice - we're not in the Victorian era after all - means that apart from being there for the children, they are enabling their dh/dp to fulfil a career, and be the breadwinner, without the attendant extra duties surrounding the running of a home, eg cooking, admin, sorting out house moves, buying furniture, organising tradespeople etc.

My perspective is that I'm a sahm of 4 - youngest is 2yo - completely my choice. My dh is at a busy stage of his professional career, and is successful at it. I know he sometimes feels the pressure of being the sole breadwinner, but he admits he'd be just as ambitious professionally even if I worked too. We have reciprocal respect for what the other does.

I don't really care what the outside world thinks; I'm an intelligent woman with a good degree and a professional qualification, and I certainly don't see that "wasted" by being at home. Anyone who gets bored day in day out at home, and who can't understand why anyone else would want to do it, must have very limited intellectual horizons indeed, not to mention a lack of tact and tolerance for others.

morningpaper · 20/09/2006 17:28

It SHOCKS me that people post things like this:

"who gives a toss if u think i am in the 50's my dh doesnt want me working as i dont need to"