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Stay at home mums with kids at school, why dont they get jobs??

910 replies

sleepinbeauty · 20/09/2006 16:32

Just a bit hacked off with mums at school, they moan about having no life away from their kids/ not much money, yet they all seem to refuse to get jobs or careers!
why do some women just want to do sweet FA all day when their kids are at school? They seem content for their husbands to slog their guts out at work while they drink cups of tea and watch daytime tv! Dont get it! i think its called laziness??

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
FioFio · 22/09/2006 16:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FluffyCharlotteCorday · 22/09/2006 16:40

Forty years ago, the NHS was not being destroyed, but most mothers didn't go out to work. So we had fewer taxpayers.

But looking at the real reasons for the gradual dismantling of the NHS, would involve thoughtful analysis of all the social, political and economic factors around it, rather than kneejerk self-righteousness. So wouldn't be so much fun.

Medulla · 22/09/2006 16:40

Or how about making going back to work full time compulsory after maternity leave then we would all be paying full tax and we would have to pay nurseries and creches who would also have to pay tax.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

iota · 22/09/2006 16:41

Fio

utterlyconfused · 22/09/2006 16:42

Yeah, I like that one.

iota · 22/09/2006 16:42

Medulla - you are a genius

Medulla for Prime Minister

foxtrot · 22/09/2006 16:43

I think it's a bit sad that some people think life is all about money. I stay at home, i don't have much cash but we sure have a decent life/work balance. I have paid taxes for 20 years before having a family, like plenty of others. No doubt when the time is right i will work again, but right now, it is inappropriate as i will not have my LOs looked after so i can 'be someone'. I am someone thank you very much!!

Medulla · 22/09/2006 16:43

Well now that we all have to go back to work I might as well be!! Wanna be in my cabinet?

FluffyCharlotteCorday · 22/09/2006 16:44

I think everyone should have to do exactly what I do and anyone who doesn't is a Bad Lot.

foxtrot · 22/09/2006 16:47

medulla save me a position in - oh- about fifteen years time. No on second thoughts i might as well go straight into retirement and calim my pension

foxtrot · 22/09/2006 16:47

claim

iota · 22/09/2006 16:48

FCC - if everyone did what I did, there would be no bloody room down the gym and huge queues at the coffee shops

Anoah · 22/09/2006 16:53

"oh anoah what about us part time working mums who dont pay tax either because of our income being so low

tie us to the wall and shoot us"

Nah, bullets get expensive. I'm trying to save money here! LOL

This is too damn funny. Keep 'em coming kids. No wait, update your CV's, send them off, get a job and then carry on with this thread.

OMG you SAHM's are so funny to wind up. So are working mums if you tell them that they are neglecting their kids by working.

God I love mumsnet.

drosophila · 22/09/2006 16:53

You know I HATE work and this thread has really brought it home to me. I envy those who enjoy their job but I work in an awful place. You really wouldn't beoeve how odd the people are!!!!

niceglasses · 22/09/2006 17:01

Oh its a wind up. Thats okay then. Phew thought you really believed yoursel' there Anoah love.

3andnomore · 22/09/2006 17:04

Hm...read a fair few posts at the beginning and the end of the thread...but, to many to read them all, lol!
Sleepinbeauty....to your op....I can see your point, I think...about those SAHM that theoretically could be doing something but aren't and mpoan about it...saying that, I don't think it's always this straightforward, iykwim....not all mothers are prepared to use paid childcare outside schoolhours and there aren't that many Jobs around that you can work around school!
I suppose it depends on your qualifications, etc...what you could do!
I am not sure though, where your opinion comes from that those individuals must be lazy and woe the hubby that has got to work...I don't see myself as a lesser person just because I am a SAHM( and no, not yet fall into that category...have 1 schoolaged, one pre school aged and one lil one that only just started Nursery at the age of 2), indeed someitmes I think if more mothers would be SAHM (i.e. if this would be an option to all that would like this) maybe we wouldn't have such a breakdown in society, maybe we would have better Kids in a closer nit familyunion? Maybe Working mums are society's problem more then SAHM's? This is not my opinion, but just a thought thrown in!
Personally i beleive you got to do what you feel is right, but I don't think anyone is less of a mother or worthy as a person and a member of society because they choose to be a working or a SAH-mom...!
I find it very sad that you believe that being a SAHM is less worthy and that we should feel bad for our Hubbies...I find looking after Kids it's the very hardest Job I have ever done, because it's constant, and you don't even get paid for it...it must be done for love!
To Anoah...hm...my dh pays plenty of taxes and I think so do most partners and dh's in familys where the choice is that one parent stays at home...so, why is that unfair to you and your family...no one is making you go to work, I assume, it's your choice, mine is, for the time being to be a SAHM...with dh being in teh Armed Forces, I find it rather difficult to get childcare arranged for 3 children, as I just never know if he really will come home when he thoguht he would, etc...and when he goes oin tours then well...what do I do then...I could not get a job that wold pay well enough to fund childcarecosts...so, why should I bother...I will return to work when I am good and ready (indeed, I am starting some relief bank support work soon, as that is the only thing that I could manage right now,i.e. Organisational...but really this is a lil bit more, because I am starting to feel that I need just a tad other things around me then my own Kids...so, indeed me going back to work is probably one of the most selfish things I will do at this time), but when dh is out of the army and ther Kids go all to shcool, then I am hoping that I can make a real return into the workforce and will be happy to pay my way! But still, I do htink that me being a SAHM is jsut as important as when I go back to work...it's just different!

PeachyClairHasBadHair · 22/09/2006 17:54

I have to say Anoah, I actually feel sympathy for you and your DP working opposite shifts. we did that for a while, it ws horrid, I missed him dreadfullya nd the kids could never do anything (we lived in a village and shared a car) as one of us always needed the car. I know for a fact (Dh doesn't do mincing his words) that he wuld rather finance me being at home, where we could see each other, have a family life together and generally have a good marriage. If thet's what he chooses to- absically- 'buy' with his wages then it is no more anyone elses business than if he bought a BMW or similar (except i'm a lot kinder on the environemnt )

I know some crap SAHM's. I know some damn shite WOHM's too. Of there were any comclusive evidence either way, don't you think either Germaine Greer or The daily Mail would have whipped it out by now?

freedom to choose, girls: that is the true Holy garil of feminism, what our sisters sufferd for in the past. We should celebrate other peoples freddom to make life choices niot denigrate it.

As for how much of a fist they make of it, surely that's a matter for their consciences, not ours?

PeachyClairHasBadHair · 22/09/2006 17:55

(and of course celebrate my freedom to type badly, natch)

Blondilocks · 22/09/2006 18:14

Soapbox - I agree. When I was a SAHM for 3 months all I really did was take LO to school, do a bit of housework for part of the morning, go back to bed for the rest of the morning, read books, go on the computer & then pick LO up again. The only thing I don't do now I work are relaxing for as long!

I wouldn't say being a SAHM is easy - it depends on what you choose to do with your day, but on the whole it is easier than working. I don't magically get my housework done by the fairies while I'm out at work!! Unless OH does is off & does it. I suppose I could pay someone to come in & clean but I'd rather spend the money on something better.

No, money isn't everything. BUT it is great not to have to worry about money, to take LO to lots of fun places, go on nice holiday, save for the future.

PeachyClairHasBadHair · 22/09/2006 18:16

Being a sahm doesn't imply you don't do anything though: who do you think makes up a good part of the volunteer army 9that incidentally saves the Government a fortune?) it's older people and Mothers. And whomakes up the bulk of carers in this country? bet you can guess

Sure there are some lazy (lucky?) ones,manya ren't though

FluffyCharlotteCorday · 22/09/2006 18:53

Well I'm a lazy one.

Sat in the garden and re-read one of the Harry Potter books the other day.

Ha ha ha.

I hate all these volunteers who get jobs. PITA, means I have to look for new ones because they no longer have time to keep services running (I recruit volunteers as part of my job and I agree with you re who keeps the country going. If everyone went to work, half the services in the country would grind to a halt and the government would have to fund them out of tax.)

mummydear · 22/09/2006 18:57

I think all working mother should resign immeditaley giving their job up to the thousands of immigramts that come into the country. then we wouldn't have this SAHM v Working Mothers debate all the time, just which magazine and coffee shop is best

Shit day today, just couldn't find anyway to park outside the school to pick up , nightmare !!!

PeachyClairHasBadHair · 22/09/2006 18:57

I did the same job Fluffy, makes your ealise doesn't it

tigermoth · 22/09/2006 19:06

I haven't had the chance to read much of this thread since it started but probably haven't been busy for every waking hour, in fact have been bone idle for some of them. But as I work, my time is not my own during the day - I can be idle at work but not in ways I want to be idle ( like surfing on internet).

Agree with soapbox that 'for me' being a SAHM is easier than working. Two reasons: I have low standards of domestic goddess-ness, don't mind a bit of dust, don't go into a whirlwind of housework activity of PTA involvement every spare minute of my day.
But the main reason 'for me' that being a SAHM is so much easier is I can control my time No one is there to disapprove if I go on the internet, if I decide on a whim to start christmas shopping after a supermarket trip, there's no one to check my timekeeping or expect me back for a meeting. Having control of your time, having no commute, having no manager or colleagues to watch your every movement and pass judgement on it - these are the things that make it easier to be a SAHM. IME.

sugarfree · 22/09/2006 19:25

I have decided that I really, really like Fluffy Charlotte.
On the other hand can't say I have taken tio Anoah much.
Are you a nurse by any chance love?You're not very compassionate are you?