Pissed off with another mum's comment. Please tell me there's nothing wrong with what we're doing

[Thurlow]

Went out last night with some of the NCT mums. We don't see each other often and, honestly, don't have too much in common bar our DC so the conversation was quite child-centric.

One of the other mums kept making comments about what my DD is still or not yet doing. I normally see threads like this and think "but just ignore them!" but this has wound me up a bit and I'm stewing. I don't think there is anything wrong with what we are doing or haven't done yet, but of course she's now planted that 1% seed of doubt.

DD is 2.5 (29mo). She still...

Sleeps in a cotbed with the side up. "Oh my, we took the side off DS's bed when he was 18 months! She really still has the side up? I didn't think any kids were still in cots at two and half!" DD hasn't ever tried to climb out, and having the side up means she can't get out if she's semi-fighting a nap. We tried a bed on holiday a few weeks ago - fine for night, awful for naps. So as far as I'm concerned that side is staying on until it absolutely has to come off.

Has her bedtime milk in a bottle. Same comment as above from other mum, surely no toddler still has a bottle?! DD drinks it quickly, has her teeth brushed afterwards, drinks all other fluids out of other cups. Just likes a bedtime bottle. We've tried to change it but she likes the comfort. Will probably try again soon but (until this lovely mum made comments) I didn't actually see the harm in a comfort routine.

Hasn't started potty training. "Really? Not even tried? How unusual..." DD has shown very few signs of being ready, so we can't see why we should push it when she's not ready just because 2.5 is a common age.

I do know what most people don't still do all those things above - but she's 2.5! Should we really be pushing her to do the "older thing" just because of her age? I don't like the idea of pushing them to do things just because it's the next stage, it feels like forcing them to grow up - but maybe I'm wrong? I should say she's perfectly normal in regards to everything else. Or was this mum just being an arse?

1944, my parents realised that recently. They were all about nappy free time and potty training about two, but then saw how good and easy disposables were and realised they're not the same as cloth nappies were back in the day.

Re potty training signs... I know you need to show them what to do before they can do it themselves, and I know I'm definitely no expert, but DD has hardly any idea yet that she is going to the loo, which doesn't give me any faith that she'd know in time to go to a potty.

Oh, and she's the only one in the group like this. The rest of us do talk about our DC a lot as its the main thing we have in common, but no one is competitive. They're nice enough really. But I daredn't ask the others about this one women in case they haven't noticed anything and I suddenly look like the bitch in the group

DS was the same, he didn't care or get upset if his nappy had poo in. I would say had you done a poo, and he would just say no, even though my nose told me otherwise, and cried when im showed him the potty.

My 2.5 DD is still in her cot and I don't plan on moving her for a while! Maybe when she drops her daytime nap. She has never made any attempt to escape and sleeps well both at night and for naps. It would be stupid to move her.

Really don't worry especially about the potty training. It will come when she's ready. And they learn what to do by watching you and other children so although showing them helps, they will also work it out themselves gradually.

I tried my DS at 2.5 and it was a total waste of time. He fought me constantly and wasn't there at all. At 3 he told me he would use the potty now and was dry within 2 days. He's only had 1 accident so far since then in 18 months.

My NCT group had one like this. Her DS was very forward in everything so she took that as everyone else's was delayed. At 9 months her was walking around confidently and mine wasn't crawling by then - cue lots of sympathetic noises and comments like 'gosh I can't believe yours isn't even crawling yet, he's such a baby still isn't he' grrrrr!

We are moving on to toilet training now from potty at 27myths and all I ever get is people telling me its too early. How does anyone know how long your child can hold the wee in? Such a weird thing to be judgmental about! I kind of think that most of th things mentioned are stuff that happens by 3ish. Any earlier is a bonus. As long as they are clean by school then what does it matter?