What is the one thing you'd wished you'd known about being a parent, before you became a parent?

[vashenca]

Hi all, my partner and I are starting to think about starting a family. We have watched various friends and family members go through process and most of them have mentioned something they wished they'd known before. So as part of us preparing for this venture, I am asking as many people as I can the question. If I have a good variety of answers, I am thinking about maybe putting them together as an ebook, so other would be parents can benefit too. I would love to hear what you'd wished you'd known about being a parent, before you became a parent? Many thanks :)

Trust your own instincts. If it feels right, it probably is. Ignore well meaning unsolicited advice.

Honestly, how tough it is! I had no idea that this would be like being on demand literally 24/7. It is mentally and physically utterly exhausting. It probably gets easier after they start school, but before that, it is tough tough tough.

How boring it can be.

Seriously - kids are wonderful and can/will be the absolute light of your life, and make you laugh more than you have ever laughed before, but...

Nothing on earth is going to make repeatedly stacking four blocks on top of one another and then knocking them down over and over and over and over and over for the next hour 'fun' or 'interesting'. Hell, not even the voice of Brian Blessed as Grandpa Rabbit can make the same episode of Peppa Pig anything more than teeth-itchingly annoying after the 57th time.

And that's before you get into the extra housework, cooking, washing, sterlising...

It won't mean that your life will stay as it is now, with the added bonus of children tacked on. It will mean a completely new life. I don't think I realised that before no.1 ds!

That cute little snuggly new born bundle will very quickly turn into a teenager. Look further than just having a 'baby', it goes past in the blink of an eye it really does.

How bored I would be. I love children and babies, always have and always am enchanted by them. However, I was utterly bored spending all day every day with my own because it is 24/7. I had no idea how I would be affected by the constant attachment, even though it was what I desperately craved from motherhood.

I told someone (not a parent) how many loads of washing I do a week and her jaw dropped. She just couldn't comprehend how/why I need to do at least 1 load of washing every single day.

I don't want to be controversial but I think it has to be said that Breastfeeding isn't always a walk in the park.
Ante natal classes don't cover that.

Along the lines of those who've said how boring it is: I wish I'd known that I am not cut out to be a SAHM. It would drive me mad. If I'd know i might have made some different career decisions before getting pregnant.

One plus is that life with a teen or two can never be described as boring.

That its really really hard to cope with a baby that cries and screams every day. I hope you don't get one of those.

That it brings out both the best and worst in you. I never realised how much I could love but also how angry a child could male me and that there are limits to how much I can give.

Make not male, sorry.

That breastfeeding can be a 24/7 job at times and it will get you down as you feel like that its all they want you for and you can feel like you lose your sense of self a little bit, but ultimately its worth it and it gets much easier.

You will go months on end without an evening to yourself.

Sometimes maternity leave gets boring and you envy your partners carrying on as normal.

You love them so much you sometimes lay awake just thinking about how much they make you smile.

That children are fucking brilliant and the best thing ever. And the childless colleague who told me children are dull till they hit two is talking bollocks because my one year old is hilarious.

That you can never underestimate the feeling of somebody else being the most important thing in your life, the responsibility of being 100% of what your baby needs.
All the other things you never understand before you hold your baby.

That every parent requires a small Philips screwdriver to get the packaging of toys.

How much fun it is. Everyday is interesting watching them learn new things or just making a mess I love it. I wish I didn't spend my last month of pregnancy worrying because its really not that hard. It's like they say,

"when you find a Job you love you never work another day again."

I wish I had her sooner and could afford to have more!

Also, you don't need half the stuff you think you do!

Social services and health visitors are either fantastic or full of bullshit.

YY to health visitors. They always give me conflicting advice! I just go with my gut now.

I wish I'd known that the first night home with the baby would be hell. That I'd be shaking from exhaustion and that I would not feel myself ever again.

Not ever.

I am not who I was. My body is not the same and never will be and I sometimes feel annoyed that DH's body IS the same.