Normal for lots of babies to be crying their eyes out in nursery?

[TrixieLox]

Our nursery called today to say my daughter has a rash and seems ill so best I take her home. When I collected her, several of the toddlers in her room were crying their eyes out, looking quite unhappy. Is this normal? It was about 10.30 so not near nap time or lunch.

I posted before about collecting my daughter from her first full day there and she looked a state, but nothing was mentioned (think she had a reaction to the glue in her painting). She's only in there 2 days a week but has got more and more upset each time I drop her off. Of course, this could be because she's ill (turns out she has an upper respiratory infection).

I just feel a bit 'off' about this nursery. Has outstanding OFSTED reports and great feedback from work colleagues. But they don't seem to tell us much, e.g., we don't get a sheet of things she's eaten, behaviour like friends do at other nurseries / childminders.

To add to seeing a bunch of crying children there today, I don't know, I don't feel right about things and am wondering if I should explore childminder options. Am I being paranoid?

And then what - you just pitched up at the council offices and they gave you a house? Which LA is that then?

Walking in and several children crying at once could be bad luck/ start of a virus. I'm sure a random stranger walking into my house at a random time of day might find both DSs crying on occasion (actually fairly regularly as one sets the other off when they start).

If this is part of a general bad feeling though, it's probably best not to ignore. A few unscheduled drop-ins should either put your mind at rest or encourage you to find another nursery/ childminder.

I don't want to derail any further. We rented privately for a while before applying for a council house.

Yep, I agree with this. You were in a privileged position.

But you see Deep, if we all did that, there would be more of a housing crisis than there already is. You're brave though to make clear how well planned was your choice to rely on the state to house you.

I am sure most people on this thread could well afford to do the same.

I am disgusted at the face anyone would sell their house, to get a council house just so they don't have to work. Absolutely appalled.

there are homeless families out there with no hope in hell of ever buying a house who are still on the waiting list for a council house.

Look it's madness to sell up a house to go into private rented j less you are struggling with the payments. I would rather work. You have no idea if you will get a council house, people are moving several times a year, no security, unable to settle in an area. I'm in private rented now trying to save. I would not in a million years have sold.

To suggest keeping a house going is a luxury is just daft. Giving up holidays, meals out, handbags and new clothes is luxuries. Paying a mortgage is not.

Sorry but I would not dream of doing as you did.

Best of luck in sorting out your problem OP.

Oh lord, morethan has a groupie.

There are women who love nothing better to stalk threads about childcare for the express purpose of ensuring people know they are morally superior. Usually best to ignore as they will never accept that someone else's experience or personal situation is just as valid as theirs.

My favourite was being told it would be reasonable for both of us to quit our jobs and go in benefits so I could be a stay at home parent. That is what the system is for, apparently. That one was quite remarkable.

OP - I found I scheduled drop ins brilliant when DS was in the early days of nursery, sometimes it was chaos but the kids were having a brilliant time and other times it was calm and lovely and I had no idea how they'd achieved it. For me, alarm bells ring if there is a lot of staff turnover / you drop off and pick up with a wide variety of people or there are inconsistencies in the information you're getting. I've been very lucky (and also hardworking in finding it!) to have DS at an excellent nursery, which he loves and thrives in.

You story is fascinating deep. You sold a house, rented privately, then just 'got' a council house (iirc you're in the central belt too - or am I confusing you with someone else?) - and then managed to save enough for a deposit for a house? With 2 incomes coming in? And you really think it's all about 'priorities'?!

I got roped in! Too naive. But it's fun .

Central belt reference is because it's incredibly difficult to get a council house here - I'm intrigued....

And managed to get a stay at home job with no training.

Wow.

Good job the rest of us continued to work to fund the choice even if it means that our own children are ruined for life. I should probably go to bed now.

Resipsa I know, it's madly tempting!

And I'm still here!

Jassy

Do you not know a parent who is convinced that the nursery they have chosen is brilliant, but you know in fact that it's dire?
Of course there are those who think this, the nurseries I have seen and heard about are zoos, I'm sorry you don't like that.

It is not morally superior not to use childcare, it is a choice.
it is immoral ime to convince yourself your child is fine in nursery just for your convenience, like some (not all) parents do.

Equally immoral to choose to have the state fund your family housing when you are capable of work but choose not to work IMHO.

Look what you did Jassy.

Look what you did.

I know - amazing, isn't it!

So - let's summarise. No-one should have to use childcare, it's simply a case of prioritising.

1. Firstly, make sure you have a DH/P in work.

1. Sell your house.

1. Find somewhere to rent privately.

1. Stay there for a while until the council gives you a house.

1. Live in said council house and save up many thousands of pounds for a deposit for another house.

1. Get a job that enables you to work from home, despite having no skills or qualifications in that area.

1. Move out of council house and into privately owned property that you and your DH bought.

Wow - I hadn't realised it was all so simple. It really is just a case of prioritising, isn't it?

I forgot to add after no. 3 - live off the sale of your first house and your DH/Ps income

Very simple SirCh. But obviously I a) just don't want to be with my children enough, and b) have convinced myself my children are happy at nursery as I am incapable of making sensible informed decisions - it's more convenient to be naive about everything.

I think the OP has got some good suggestions now.

I don't understand why you would even click on a thread that requires experience of using a nursery when it's clear you'd never let your children in one?! What can you possibly contribute?