Normal for lots of babies to be crying their eyes out in nursery?

[TrixieLox]

Our nursery called today to say my daughter has a rash and seems ill so best I take her home. When I collected her, several of the toddlers in her room were crying their eyes out, looking quite unhappy. Is this normal? It was about 10.30 so not near nap time or lunch.

I posted before about collecting my daughter from her first full day there and she looked a state, but nothing was mentioned (think she had a reaction to the glue in her painting). She's only in there 2 days a week but has got more and more upset each time I drop her off. Of course, this could be because she's ill (turns out she has an upper respiratory infection).

I just feel a bit 'off' about this nursery. Has outstanding OFSTED reports and great feedback from work colleagues. But they don't seem to tell us much, e.g., we don't get a sheet of things she's eaten, behaviour like friends do at other nurseries / childminders.

To add to seeing a bunch of crying children there today, I don't know, I don't feel right about things and am wondering if I should explore childminder options. Am I being paranoid?

deepbluetr we live in cheap rented accommodation. We still need two salary's in order for us to stay afloat.

(Meant to add we made the decision that I would stay at home after that. We manage on peanuts - dh earns 15.5k and we have a mortgage to pay and we even have some debt now but I couldn't stand to put ds in any of the settings we viewed. If it was better I may have felt differently).

Excellent, jolly good for you. Exactly what is your point - in the context of this thread deep?

I would give it a little more time and do the un scheduled visit to put your mind at rest.

The no information sheet would bother me because I'd want to know what she had eaten and how long she had slept for.

You could always speak to a manager and raise your worries, they should be used to anxious parents.

I have 3 DC, I've worked, nit worked, used minders, daycare and been a sahm - we all do what we believe is best for our families

Just moved into cheap rented in the country isn't an option for everyone but it's worked for you.

Consider getting to and commuting from a job, travel costs, rent costs. Not having a house to sell in the first place.

My DSs go to a nursery and they love it, the staff are lovely. DS has an itchy back with a bit if eczema and I popped some cream in and found staff cuddling him and rubbing his back for him. Not ever ever seen distressed babies not being looked after.

I'd look around OP. I would trust your gut, but don't feel they are all awful hell hole zoos because that's not true!

Not normal. Both of the nurseries that DD has been at have had some staff flexibility so that they can deal with needing an extra pair of hands in the baby room. For example at her current nursery they often have the nursery manager in having cuddles with the babies. It does help that the staff really do love the children, but I think that the staff at her nursery are outstanding, possibly unusually so.

Actually, in order for me giving up my job to work out, rent would have to be free, seeing as how I'm a single parent. I'm guessing there aren't many landlords, in the country or otherwise, who would let me live rent-free for 20 years.

You could make a log cabin.

Excuses excuses.

It's not normal if it's regular. It occurred to me that occasionally one crying child seems to set others off... So maybe it was a one off? I would give it another chance and monitor the situation. My son never settled in his nursery. It was as a lovely space but the staff were all young girls. I found him a really lovely, mumsy childminder and he was much, much happier with smaller ratios and lots of cuddles... Hope the situation I improves for you! Bless you!

Even if I never worked again I would put my children in nursery part of time. I really believe in it for my own. I do believe its better than me personally looking after them at home as they have had more opportunities.

A log cabin?

And what's wrong with a hole in the ground??

I didn't like any of the outstanding nurseries I looked at which informed my choice not to return to work until school age.

I think at 3 it is good for the child, before that it is for the good of the parent /family. Obviously keeping a job is good for the family (although remember lots of people can't afford TO work!)

There is one fantastic childminding couple I have seen out and about though who are brilliant with their charges, take the children to farms etc and if the perfect p/t job came up I would trust my children with them.

Of course it's good for the family - eating, having a roof over your head, and being able to clothe and shoe your family are very good things, aren't they?

I didn't like the outstanding ones either I looked at.

There is snobbery around here with nurseries and I looked at one everyone seemed to rave about and I didn't like it, a less popular one was much nicer, lovely open spaces and nicer staff.

Just wasn't as nicely decorated and didn't have as expensive toys.

Sir - Of course. And many times we have ot make decisions that aren't "optimum" for an individual child as the needs of the family outweigh the individual. In so many areas.

Harold- agree about the snobbery. The pre-school we chose in the end didn't have the amazing outdoor area/ purpose build climbing frames but did have the older, more experienced staff that were interacting kindly with the children. I often hear people say they will go to X simply as it seems shinier.

Many working class families can't afford to use nursery or childminders. Try doing that if you are on the minimum wage.

Deepblue - your posts are classic comments from someone who doesn't really actually get what making real sacrifices and compromises are. Just out of interest, how much did your "cheap " place in Norfolk actually cost to buy?

I don't think I've ever seen such breathtakingly condescending posts on here actually though, so well done

I know a single parent trying to get council accomodation so she can regain custody of her newborn (long story but it does happpen).

Are you AND HUSBAND lucky enough to live on a bus route that gets him to work? Or lucky enough to run a car?

Assume you don't have a special needs child requiring multiple medical appointments?

Also not convinced that choosing the insecurity of renting, where you could be your children's home and school every year or two, is in their best interests.

Your family is LUCKY to have a VIABLE choice that works for you. Many don't.

If your on minimum wage you would get assistance, though I don't see what your point is exactly.

When I started using them I was on 6.20 and dh was on 6.50 an hour so thats no excuse not to use them

Absolutely - although personally I believe that if it's a choice between poverty, not enough to heat, poor housing and parent/s not working versus a good nursery, food on the table, decent housing with parent/s in employment then that's 'optimum' for the child.

Oh sorry you're not Norfolk, someone else is. Same question though, how much did your cheap house cost?

Are you not going to be happy until we admit we are all selfish hounds putting children in zoos to afford handbags?

piddlepuddle- I didn't buy- I rented. My house cost me £360 a month.