Being a bisexual parent.

[dizietsma]

Being a bisexual parent has it's drawbacks.

Firstly everyone assumes that 'cos I'm married and have a baby then I must be straight. There seems no opportune way to broach it at playgroup without sounding like a overly strident loony and piping up with "I'm bisexual, don't you know" out of the blue, but at the same time I feel like I'm closeting myself because no-one knows. What's a girl to do?

Secondly, it's all very well if you're a lesbian 'cos then you can go to lesbian mother's groups. And if you're a gay dad then you get the same support group network. Where the hell do I go?

Any other bisexual mums and dads out there?

i know for a fact my mate wouldnt fancy me, im not her type!

Is it the being a parent, or being in a straight relationship that's the issue? One of my best friends has no children (through choice). She does gets a bit annoyed that people assume that because she lives with a man, they don't see 'all' of her (although in fact they got together because they'd both, at different points, been involved with the same woman).

I'd have thought dropping it into conversation (where relevant, obviously, at least to some degree) that you've had relationships with women in the past might be a good start?

Hm, well. I'm not particularly interested in attention seeking, as one charming poster put it, as you can tell from the fact that I haven't broached the subject with people for that exact reason.

I don't like to "give an answer to fit" as that feels like lying to me and I don't think I should have to.

I know it's no-one's business that I'm Bi, but I'm not a very private person so it's a big deal to me if I cannot discuss some part of my life or feel stifled in my discussion of a part of my life.

MI- I do feel that people "don't see all of me", that's definately a part of it. I have tried to find an appropriate moment in conversation, but I've bottled it in the past because I didn't want the hassle. It's just been so long since I've had to "come out" that I'm totally our of practice.

FWIW Kinsey was a sexlogist who decided that a scale of sexuality was necessary because most people are not just straight or just gay, that there's a lot of gray area involved in sexual orientation. It's a useful tool for those of us who don't find sexuality a simple yes/no choice.

But you're only lying to yourself if you try and hide it. The fact it's not really come into the conversation with some people hardly matters or counts as lying, to anyone.
I presume there are some people that know, close friends, family, your partner??? So you're not living a lie. Why does everyone you meet need to know that you like men and women. Who cares? Some people in your life know, some don't. Some people know that I have broken veins on my legs, some don't.
If there is a particular prson you want to share that part of your life with then broach it with him/her, otherwise just be yourself and don't worry about having to make a massive issue out of it.

Everyone in my life knows I'm Bi except my baby friends. I don't want everyone I meet to know I'm Bi otherwise I'd wear an "I'm Bisexual" t-shirt!

There are many people I don't think it necessary to enter into a discussion about because it's not relevant to our relationship, but people I consider to be friends I think should know.

I feel I am hiding something from people because I actively avoid contributing to the "that celebrity is gorgeous" conversations and I have found myself not saying things around playgroup friends that I would say around my other friends.

I feel it's unfair to my playgroup friends 'cos I'm pretty sure they wouldn't give a toss, but I risk the "attention seeking" label if I say anything and I'd rather avoid that.

Well if you think you'd get the label from them and would rather avoid the label, then I think you've answered your own question, you should just keep it to yourself. I don't really see how else you can deal with it. Either you tell them and face whatever (if any) predjudices, or you carry on the way you are and just live with the compromise.

i cant help thinking bizexual peopel are simply indecisive

Can you get "Im bisexual" tshirts?

Where from?

Cant see Marks doing them

Well, ocd, I find your comment bigoted.

As for T-shirts, you get 'em everywhere .

Yup, I suppose I'd better just bite the bullet, eh? Sucks though.

"bite the bullet"

Is than a euphemism?

If you think it's something that your baby mates need to know about you, then I suppose you have to do it, yeah.

Cod - not indecisive, just not fussy

ROFL @WB

Yes, WB, it's actually a sexual fetish where you chew bullets during anal sex... or maybe it's just a very common term for doing something difficult. You choose whatever option turns you on the most.

barf

I think she meant nibbling of the clitoris actually

oh gross
dont tell them that ndp at oyur mums group

ROFL. I don't go to those things, full of repressed middle-englanders in Laura Ashley smock dresses

Message withdrawn

I meant the most common usage of "bite the bullet", guys, just because I'm Bisexual doesn't mean everything I say is about having sex- I was being sarcastic.

So was I

so was I

Well, I can explain my sexuality in great depth to people or I can use the convenient but not exact label of Bisexual. I choose the latter to prevent intense boredom on the part of my interlocutors.

WB... why did you make suggestive comments then?