Being a bisexual parent.

[dizietsma]

Being a bisexual parent has it's drawbacks.

Firstly everyone assumes that 'cos I'm married and have a baby then I must be straight. There seems no opportune way to broach it at playgroup without sounding like a overly strident loony and piping up with "I'm bisexual, don't you know" out of the blue, but at the same time I feel like I'm closeting myself because no-one knows. What's a girl to do?

Secondly, it's all very well if you're a lesbian 'cos then you can go to lesbian mother's groups. And if you're a gay dad then you get the same support group network. Where the hell do I go?

Any other bisexual mums and dads out there?

but, so what if people do assume you're straight? don't understand the problem.

so people need to know?

Hi dizi

Do you have extra-marital relationships with women ?

I've had relationships/encounters with women in the past, so I guess I must be bisexual to a degree. But I am now married, and in a faithful hetero relationship, therefore my bisexuality is a bit of a side issue, IYSWIM.

I'm not sure why you need to tell other people that you're attracted to men and women, unless you're hittng on them, of course .

i'm bi but don't feel the need to tell people? dp knows and obviously friends who knew me pre-baby know but what impact does it have on your life if your married besides that you eye up men and women?

confused.... why the need to tell anyone?

that should have said 'pre-dp' btw.... not insinuating sex life ends after babies!

Well, mainly because I feel like I'm living a lie if I'm not out. Just like many gay people feel they're living a lie if they're not out.

I'm in a faithful monogamous relationship with a man, but that doesn't stop me being attracted to women in the same way that heterosexual women in faithful, monogamous relationships find men attractive.

If people don't know I'm Bi, then I feel I cannot make passing comments about anything as inane as fancying a celebrity because then it involves a "serious talk". Which makes me feel bad and like I'm lying.

On the Kinsey scale of sexuality I've always considered myself to be a four who just happened to end up in a long-term relationship with a man, and that might be one of the reasons why it's more of a big deal to me than someone who considers themselves a three or two.

make the comment anyway and see if they ask. you might be surprised how little people care either way.

lol at "how little people care..."

tbh, still don't see that it makes a differnace, your sexuality shouldn't define who you are and feeling such a strong desire to tell people sounds more like you want the attention than anything else imo

well if one of my dd friends mothers who was married suddenly announced she was bi i'd be highly uninterested tbh! what does it matter when she's married? unless she is still looking for someone better? or hoping that one of them will say 'oh me too' and she can have an affair.

my sexuality is personal to me, don't really want people looking at me with a label like hetro or bi or homosexual in their minds, i'm me, pinktulips, not just some bi chick

God, I've never felt the need to 'scale' my sexuality [bemused emoticon]

yeah, that got me too NdP

I like what I like, and that's that. I've always fallen for the person not their genitalia.

pmsl

nobody cares nowadays.
i can't really muster enthusiasm for naked male celebrities on some threads but i don't feel the need to plaster female celebs on there either.
i'm sure you have far more to you than your sexuality. don't make an issue out of it and no one else will.

I'm not trying to be offensive, I'm just genuinely a bit puzzled as to why a married, faithful, happy person should feel the urge to tell people that they also fancy women unless it comes up in convo.

i can only echo what ndp has said, if for example you are hetero and married and faithful, then why do you need to discuss this with people unless you actually wanted to have an affair, then you would say, im hetero, but open to offers...same with being bi, whichever way you swing, you are in (i assume) a faithful relationship and if you are not, then your sexuality doesnt come into it, you make people aware that you are avaliable, regardless of the sex.

I can understand the 'gorgeous celebs' convo scenario, but I, personally, would just give an answer to fit if I was sat in a group of semi-friends. Partly becuase I can't be arsed feeling like I have to explain myself, why the heck should I justify my sexual preference to people(especially those I'm never going to actually HAVE sex with).

It sounds to me like you are placing a bit too much emphasis on this side of your personality.

God, no-one's going to want to sit next to me at the MN xmas doo this yr, in case I leap on them

you dont need to explain yourself to anyone..your sexuality is your own business unless as i said before you fancy that person.
NDP-one of my friends is bi, but i do not live in fear of her pouncing on me!

see, thats the main reason i don't feel the need to tell people, they always assume they're just so damn gorgeous i won't be able to resist jumping them!

Lol. It is funny that as soon as it comes up in convo, you can see certain women friends backing off a bit, where before they would hug you etc without a second thought. Because of course as a p/t lesbo you must fancy all women