If you met someone with a limp

[ilean]

would you comment on it?

Wow you're so right. I always think my life would be perfect and be super hot if I could just wear high heels

Fizzy I had similar from my consultant! "Of course Alchemist, you will be looking at a hip replacement for the other side." dead casual like.

My leg is app 1- 1.5 inches shorter. I used to love heels but I just cannot walk at all in them.

I walk with crutches. People always ask me what I've done, especially shop assistants. Or they ask me how much longer I will have them for. I always feel like saying "always, you insensitive cock!"

It does upset me, but it angers me abit because it is so bloody nosy. They should mind their own business!

Yes I am getting to that point Alchemist I think they just accentuate the wonkiness of my walk too much and are agony in half an hour anyway.

How long have you limped for Spotty? If I might ask some rude and personal questions

Wearing heels and lovely shoes in general is saved for me as a positive for when I need to be in a wheelchair. I'll fight as long as I can to stay upright but there has to be at least one positive when I lose that battle.

agreed, Iam

I find it interesting the line between acceptable and unacceptable. People would not comment on someone in a wheelchair. My conclusion is that people assume a limp or crutches is due to injury rather than illness, temporary rather than permanent, especially in a person who is not old. It is still bloody rude though!

My limp was commented on this morning by someone I have only met twice. To be fair, my limp varies in form and severity so maybe it was a particularly unusual gait which promoted her to ask if I was ok? To be honest it doesn't really bother me. I was more upset when a 'friend' commented on how she couldn't bear to walk like me. Bitch.

Odd I have a cousin with cerebal palsy, he has been in a wheelchair for a long time now, he is 25 and a total style maven, his shoes are wonderful, outrageous and marvellously impractical!!! he delights in it

All my life it's a bit like a limp (due to hip dysplasia) plus high gait and foot drop due to something similar to muscular dystrophy. It affects my hands too and I often can't unlock the doors at work due to muscle wastage

Prompted.

I remember when I had psoriasis it was initially all over my hands and admittedly looked ugly as hell, but the amount of people who said 'ugh, what's that?' was quite surprising.

These dunderheads need to think before they speak!

I was taught never to comment negatively on someone's appearance, even if I met the headless horseman I would keep schtum about his lack of bonce.

I read somewhere Marilyn Munroe would have one of the heels of her shoes shortened to enhance her wiggle.

I definitely do not walk like MM!

It is almost guaranteed that someone on meeting me will ask me "what I've done"

So I'm gonna spam the thread with my link again
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a2057029-To-suggest-the-next-mn-campaign-targets-views-on-invisible-disabilities?msgid=46538395#46538395

Exit
that is another interesting facet, how people you do know can use it to help themselves feel better
A friend (not so close any more) got drunk at university years ago and said something not quite so bitchy, but in reference to how awful my hip business is....it's hard to describe but she was just subtly gleeful. I resisted the urge to comment on her wonky face

Also mine varies too, with tiredness and how much I've been on it, and so when people I know comment on it though I don't like it for similar reasons, I accept that it is concern and the alternative is worse.

It's so hard to balance the help and support and sympathy you need and want with total denial

A few years ago when I was about 30 I needed a wheeled walking frame to get about (thankfully I've had some surgery that has helped for now so I'm frame/stick free at the moment).

I found that most people were lovely and helpful while I had my frame, especially young people but many old people used to scowl at me as if I was somehow encroaching on them. . The absolute worst though was when I was in the shopping centre and a woman held on to my frame to keep me trapped and insisted on praying for my healing. I felt so vulnerable and trapped I didn't dare go shopping alone with my frame again.

I was taught never to comment negatively on someone's appearance, even if I met the headless horseman I would keep schtum about his lack of bonce.

Quite right squoosh! This very English art is wonderful but sadly undervalued, I think.

"No personal comments!" was a favourite ringing refrain of my perfectly mannered mother when I was growing up.

If I see really nice flat shoes, and I can afford them, I buy them because they are so hard to find.

I've got 'posh' crutches because I bought them. I go to the orthopaedic department at the hospital quite frequently. People make comments like "it's not fair some people get this and others get basic ones is it?" "I wonder what she has done that means she gets those expensive ones?" I did hear one person complaining to a nurse about it, once. DH has said to people before, "she might need with crutches but her ears work fine!"

Hmm Alchemist perhaps we limpers should perfect sexy wiggles. Though tbh my DH is more likely to comment on that. "What on earth are you doing with your bum, woman"

Odd that is horrendous
I have up til the past year or so been very independent - some might say stubbornly and ferociously - often in serious pain, yes, but apart from some extremely inelegant undressing techniques generally carrying on like an able bodied person. I have had some terrifying experiences this past winter, immobilised while on my own with baby DD, weeping in agony, that have given me a scary snapshot of the future.

When I was young I went to an interview and one of the interviewers made me walk back and fore across the room so he could assess if I could do the job.

I didn't know whether to cry or punch him in the face. But I was young and stupid so I just did it. Everyone else in the room looked quite embarrassed but no one said anything.

I actually got the job, and ended up being one of interviewing guy's favourites: he thought I was a "plucky little thing" and gave me loads of great opportunities. God I hated that man.

Even in lovely weather I have to wear boots to keep my orthosis in place, sadly even flat shoes are not possible but as I wear trousers anyway (as my withered leg and my beefy over-compensating leg took too strnage for a skirt) it hopefully doesn't look too daft.

I got sacked because the boss thought I had taken drugs. I'd only been working there a week. I sued them and won.

Many years ago I met a young woman at a social gathering, through mutual friends. As we were going down some steps I made a stupid comment about her having had too much to drink because she was a bit wobbly.

She answered, "Yes, I am wobbly, but not because I've had too much to drink... I'm always like this, I recently found out I have MS."

She had been studying to be a dancer (this was in uni)

I occasionally think of her and how gracious she was when she had every right to be annoyed with my clumsy comment... And I try never to make personal remarks.

If I met you ilean I hope I would not be rude. I hope I would carry a bag for you, or do anything I could to make things just a little easier. You sound like such a nice, friendly, kind person, it's just rubbish you're in pain all the time, and even more rubbish that people make stupid comments about your walking.

iaminvisible can I ask where you got your posh crutches? I use one when pain really bad! I buy lots of lovely flat shoes from irregular choice

Oh Tinkly .

Very different situation - I was fired from a waitressing job once for 'not fitting in' and a few days before they got rid of me, one of the managers casually asked about my limp and why it got worse sometimes. I have thought about it on and off since and despite my initial upset, decided I can see why they didn't want me limping about the customers (if that was indeed the reason, though I am an excellent and cheery waitress if I do say so myself, so think it was), if I were a customer being served by someone I thought was in pain would be horrid. So I was but retrospectively I probably wasn't being fair. It's so hard.