Meita, another one here who thinks you are wrong I'm afraid 
perhaps I can explain? What your approach seems to miss is that it doesn't take account of the disabled persons feelings. Obviously I can only speak from my personal experience but my take it this: while you may not want to ignore the reality of my disability, I dowant you to. You drawing attention to it makes me feel embarrassed, uncomfortable and upset and I would far rather you made no mention or allowance at all unless I asked you to or raised the subject myself. I think a far better approach is to take your cue from the person themselves. And allow them to volunteer information and/or ask for help if they need it, rather than presuming to raise it for them.
Imagine a somewhat clumsy analogy. You are going through a messy and painful divorce involving sordid infidelity. Would you like it if others (including strangers or mere acquaintances) who became aware that you had some form of marital issue took it upon themselves to ask questions so as to 'not ignore the reality of your situation' and/or out of their own interest. Even if the questioner was acting out of concern or trying to establish whether you needed help, imagine them questioning you in public, in front of work colleagues or in front of your children. Imagine this happening several times a day, every day of your life. Wouldn't you rather have control over who you discussed your personal life with?
For me my disability is the same, personal to me, and I would prefer to be granted the courtesy of choosing how, when and with whom I discuss it.