If you met someone with a limp

[ilean]

would you comment on it?

Mitchy1nge "a limp what?"

That might have been my first thought when I read the title, too.

yes Nancy it does upset me, it makes me cry later when I'm on my own. It's been ten years, you'd think it would get easier but it's harder if anything.

I remember watching ER as a teenager and there was a woman doctor character, with short red hair, who had a bad limp. She wasn't the most likeable character and those things seemed somehow to go hand in hand. When I think about having a limp all the associations are so horrid, for a woman anyway. What is that about?

I remember reading The Little Mermaid when I was small, too, the original one, and the description of the price that she pays for her legs, that it felt like knives when she was walking. I thought that was so awful, it stayed with me for a long time. And now I can't remember what it is like not to have pain when I walk.

Tbf the most recent person who asked me also asked me if I was diabetic because of something I ate so not the smartest of people...

At a limp what...!

Travelin I love it when people say they didn't notice! God bless the unobservant

My DH doesn't seem to notice (in a nice way)
DD is still tiny and I wonder if it will embarrass her when she's bigger

My sister has CP and in the middle of a party, while my sister was at the bar, my husband's boss asked me loudly, across a table, what was wrong with her hand. It was the first time I or my sister had met him. Normally I would just say "none of your business" but seeing as it was DH's boss I was stunned into politeness and answered. Luckily everyone else there was nice but I could see people checking out her hand when she came back and I felt awful :( It's one thing to ask someone directly, but to ask behind their back in front of everyone - so so so rude.

To answer your question OP - I would only ask in these circumstances:
-I knew the person and the limp was new
-They mentioned it first
-It was a stranger who seemed to be struggling
-It was a new workmate who might be shy about mentioning any additional needs they had due to the limp.

sorry it upsets you ilean - some people just don't think before they speak. Most won't mean to upset you and would prob be really sorry to know they had.

Ilean I remember that lady from ER

I also wonder if dd will be embarrassed but she has the same condition so I worry more about her hating her life and people being mean to her

I limp or walk funny sometimes it pisses me off when people comment on it

Depends. If they had a crutch or cane I'd wouldn't mention it. But if not I'd probably ask if they were ok.

I have a limp after car accident 10+ years ago and I do occasionally get twatty comments but I do have a very good hard stare.

My limp gets worse when tired but I am grateful to have my leg . I'm sorry you are in pain, it makes everything worse .

For those of you who say they would hep someone who was struggling I do think that is a lovely thing. If I was limping along with shopping or a heavy bag and someone helped for a bit I would accept and be very grateful.

Advice for the helpful and concerned, if I may, would be to say 'are you in pain and can I help?' rather than saying the word limp, because pain really is the problem, not the limp, iyswim, and mentioning my limp always feels to me more like an observation or inquiry rather than concern.

Not that the comment that prompted the thread was that, it was just sheer nosiness. "Oh, I see that you limp..."

I should perfect an answer that shames the nosy ones. "Yes I do, it's really painful, and I hate to be reminded of it because it cuts right to the core of how I see myself, whether I am whole and attractive and how it has crippled what should have been my youth"

I usually just say "yes, isn't it glamorous!"

I have a limp, I don't get asked directly why but people do ask if I'm okay and I just say 'yeah, just a wonky back' because I have no idea the best thing to say. I'm quite happy to tell anyone and everyone, my disability is no secret but it's just not 'British' to say much.

ilean it is very upsetting sometimes and it's difficult not to feel self conscious but I really do try not to let it upset me, my family and friends have never commented on it ever and DH is fab and my DD who is five has never even noticed. The people who comment are idiots and not worth a second though

Oh ilean I know it's shit for you but it's nice (for me) to find someone who feels the same way!

I know Nancy I try to remind myself of that. but sometimes you feel so vulnerable. I think people feel free to comment on mine because it is relatively incongruous compared with what they can see - young (I think I look younger than 30), probably look healthy.

I suppose I started the thread because I'm interested to see what people who don't limp think about those of us who do, or why people who comment do. When people say things to me I usually just stutter something embarrassed and run away, so this thread is a way of exploring it a bit in safeness and privacy.

Sorry iPad I meant thought

Spotty and Purple it is also nice to hear from you!

No. If someone I already knew started to limp then I'd probably comment, but not on meeting a person who came with limp already installed.

I love the idea of the limp being "installed". :)

Debbie installed I would like to uninstall please!

I have one. My DM used to go mad at it when I was younger and I'd get shouted at for not walking properly.

Once I was at work an elderly gent walked up to me and said "have you a sore foot? " I said "no" he said " I've been watching you walking and noticed you had a limp. You probably have one leg longer than the other, my wife did, she had to have a hip replacement"

Cheers!

I'm just vain really, I forget (not the pain, but the limp) and think I'm normal or at least normal looking and then someone reminds me and it's upsetting. I do think it's upsetting because I think a limp is unattractive rather than reminding me of my condition, because I never forget that, iyswim.

It's interesting.

Argh Fizzy that is the worst!! rudeness + unhelpful but depressing personal anecdote. Limp bingo.

actually my legs are the same length but I have serious muscular shortening all down the right side of my body due to the arthritis (for that is what it is)