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I have just tipped my 3yo Dd1's supper over her head.

955 replies

Orchardbeck · 29/04/2014 19:53

Not one of my finest moments, I have to say. I'm certainly not proud of the fact. She refused to eat it so I calmly tipped it over her head, gravy, the lot.

Dd1 has been refusing to eat meals for some time, I know it is a control issue as we are having other problems (tantrums, ignoring etc etc). I also have Dd2 who is 9 months and eating well (same meals just mashed or chopped well). She just sits there and either makes cheeky comments or shouts over me. I am at the end of my tether.

I make meals that I know Dd1 loves - she was previously an adventurous eater but now just picks and takes hours to finish a meal, and only with coaxing and threats of no pudding etc.

Tonight was sausage casserole, made with home raised pork and vegetables out of the garden, so not only do I feel bad about doing this, it was particularly painful to see it go to waste like that (DH's face was a picture, but he backed me up whether he agreed with it or not , bless him).

She has now been showered and sent to bed with nothing more to eat. She is very eloquent for her age (3 1/4 yo) and has been from age 1, she used to be so well behaved and a joy to have around.

Obviously I was worried about her reaction to dd2, but she loves her to pieces. She just takes other people off to one side to get their full attention - it can be overwhelming for them sometimes.

I know she is rebelling because I have to dedicate attention to her younger sister, plus my OH is a farmer and works all hours so it's just me looking after them. She goes to pre school 2 mornings per week.

What can I do? Is it a phase? Have I crossed a massive line?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 01/05/2014 20:41

Why? There are many differing opinions on MN.

PirateJones · 01/05/2014 20:42

I find it utterly bizarre that here on MN we have a woman who in a fit of exasperation tipped her child's food on her head who is getting totally ripped to pieces. And on another thread, huge outpourings of sympathy/empathy for another woman who took heroin and died whilst a small baby was in her care.

Different posters int he threads. not bizzare at all really.

70hoursaweekandcounting · 01/05/2014 20:42

Quodubet - there is not as queer as folk - :).

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 01/05/2014 20:43

"Not a theory a fact"

"Thanks for yout intelligent comment".

Sorry, love..I stopped arguing with bitchy schoolgirls 25 years ago and not going to have silly teenage style arguments now.

70hoursaweekandcounting · 01/05/2014 20:43

Pirate :o. I could tel you were that type of person - I hope it's. to McDonald's food - I love a good Mconalds myself

Quodlibet · 01/05/2014 20:44

Yes fine different posters, different threads, different opinions... But interesting patterns of reaction.

PiratePanda · 01/05/2014 20:45

Quodlibet - yep. Poor OP. Perhaps only those of us who have appalling wilful food-refusing 3-year-olds can feel some sense of sympathy. I've never tipped food over DS or threatened him with violence. I have felt very angry inside though.

There but for the grace...

PirateJones · 01/05/2014 20:45

KFC here mostly.

LEMmingaround · 01/05/2014 20:45

Is this a wind up? Someone tell me its a wind up! Haven't rtft but has the op come back and said "gotcha" yet?

PiratePanda · 01/05/2014 20:46
PirateJones · 01/05/2014 20:47

I shall be the Boatswain and you can be the captain!
arr.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 01/05/2014 20:47

My DD is enormously challenging.

She poos on floor nearly every day.

You name it, she does it.

I still dont have sympathy for the OP really as a) I treat my child with respect but mostly b) she was more concerned about wasting the food at first.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 01/05/2014 20:48

Not sure if OP was on the wind up but starting to suspect others are LEM.

70hoursaweekandcounting · 01/05/2014 20:48

With two very different views - I agree with the there but for the grace comment.
I am also yet to meet a parent who thinks they have got everything 'right'. In fact the best parents I meet are those who question their judgements, actions and decisions, learn from and then move on. the worst are the self righteous, holier than thou types

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 01/05/2014 20:49

No idea why you feel unable to differ in your opinion with someone without being utterly bitchy and resorting to personal attacks 70.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 01/05/2014 20:50

Although if it quacks like a duck.

Am off to sleep.

70hoursaweekandcounting · 01/05/2014 20:53

fanjo you are funny - look at the way I have been treated on this thread for offering a differing opinion to yours!!!! My husband was called a c@@@ and I was seen as agreeing to abuse - I mean WTF - it if it makes you feel better about yourself go ahead I am I. A good place and can take the jibes - I am not sure about the OP - some disgraceful, unnecessary comments from some nasty people on here -

PirateJones · 01/05/2014 20:54

Challenging?

I have a 6 year old with a dummy, who poos in nappies. Has melt downs in places with too much noise, and steals food to hide in his room. asnd had a two hour tantrum because no one would bath with him.

And this is just the stuff he has problems with THIS WEEK.

I have NEVER once thought to tip his dinner over his head, maybe that's what i'm doing wrong?

Do you know WHY he is like this?
Becuase his mother abused him for 4 years, so forgive me if i'm a "holier than thou type".

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 01/05/2014 20:55

I didnt say anything like that to you.

Yet still you have to rip me apart rather than just disagree.

Well go for it. I am tired and going to bed.

70hoursaweekandcounting · 01/05/2014 20:56

Pirate Iunderstand where you are coming from and can understand why you have such strong feelings - however 4 years of abuse as opposed to one moment of madness - surely even you can see it is not the same

70hoursaweekandcounting · 01/05/2014 20:58

where haveI ripped you apart ?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 01/05/2014 21:00

70hoursaweekandcounting Thu 01-May-14 20:35:16
I think the person who cares most about the child in question is the OP - you lot are just jumped up judgemental people who want to kick someone when they are down and them defend your nastiness by saying you are doing it for the goodness of the child !!!!! You only care about showing how 'good' a parent you are by putting someone else who is at a low ebb down !!!

70hoursaweekandcounting · 01/05/2014 21:01

Ahh. Not personally directed at you - at all the posters

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 01/05/2014 21:03

Well it was including me.

And isnt true.

Im sure it isnt true for anyone else who was concerned about the wee girl either.

And now i really do need to sleep

PinkSquash · 01/05/2014 21:03

DS2 is very violent at the moment, hitting, kicking biting. Yes, I feel angry, frustrated, upset, annoyed but not once have I humiliated him, hurt him or reacted in a childish manner. I still respect him as a human and he has rights. Particularly Freedom from torture and inhuman or degrading treatment

One abusive action still has the same effect as 1000.

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