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I have just tipped my 3yo Dd1's supper over her head.

955 replies

Orchardbeck · 29/04/2014 19:53

Not one of my finest moments, I have to say. I'm certainly not proud of the fact. She refused to eat it so I calmly tipped it over her head, gravy, the lot.

Dd1 has been refusing to eat meals for some time, I know it is a control issue as we are having other problems (tantrums, ignoring etc etc). I also have Dd2 who is 9 months and eating well (same meals just mashed or chopped well). She just sits there and either makes cheeky comments or shouts over me. I am at the end of my tether.

I make meals that I know Dd1 loves - she was previously an adventurous eater but now just picks and takes hours to finish a meal, and only with coaxing and threats of no pudding etc.

Tonight was sausage casserole, made with home raised pork and vegetables out of the garden, so not only do I feel bad about doing this, it was particularly painful to see it go to waste like that (DH's face was a picture, but he backed me up whether he agreed with it or not , bless him).

She has now been showered and sent to bed with nothing more to eat. She is very eloquent for her age (3 1/4 yo) and has been from age 1, she used to be so well behaved and a joy to have around.

Obviously I was worried about her reaction to dd2, but she loves her to pieces. She just takes other people off to one side to get their full attention - it can be overwhelming for them sometimes.

I know she is rebelling because I have to dedicate attention to her younger sister, plus my OH is a farmer and works all hours so it's just me looking after them. She goes to pre school 2 mornings per week.

What can I do? Is it a phase? Have I crossed a massive line?

OP posts:
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PirateJones · 01/05/2014 13:39

The food was tepid not hoy

Tepid to an adult with hardened skin, hot to a child.

So you think it's okay to pour Food over people as long as it's tepid?

70hoursaweekandcounting · 01/05/2014 13:41

If my husband had prepared a meal which I then refused to eat (as normal) - I was then shouting cheeky/rude things t him whilst he tried to eat his meal - cajole me to eat mine. if all this resulted in him tipping my dinner over me I wold realise that my behaviour had warranted it !!!!!

FunLovinBunster · 01/05/2014 13:42

May I also add that if OPs DC ends up with a phobia about eating, OP will only have herself to blame. & yes there are v young children who are phobic about eating.

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TequilaMockingbirdy · 01/05/2014 13:43

if all this resulted in him tipping my dinner over me I wold realise that my behaviour had warranted it

Hmm

So you think the OP's child deserved it then or..??

70hoursaweekandcounting · 01/05/2014 13:43

Pirate - If it was my child (luckily they are both good eaters) I would have removed the food and sent them to bed -- however please read the post about what my mum did to me when I was three - it doesn't mean this child will have lasting psychological damage a I can't even remember what happened to me !!!

FunLovinBunster · 01/05/2014 13:43

Great 70 hours, now according to you, abused kids/women whose behaviour isn't perfect is ASKING to be abused. FFS.

70hoursaweekandcounting · 01/05/2014 13:45

OMG Twisted or what Fun !!!!!

TequilaMockingbirdy · 01/05/2014 13:47

70hours your post is effectively victim blaming.

Impatientismymiddlename · 01/05/2014 13:47

70hours - a 3 year old is very different to an adult. But I would question your respect for your husband if you refused to eat his meal and then got cheeky and rude with him. I would also think he was out of order if he tipped your dinner over your head. What kind of relationship so you have exactly where you think what you wrote is normal or acceptable?

70hoursaweekandcounting · 01/05/2014 13:48

Ermmmmm no !

70hoursaweekandcounting · 01/05/2014 13:48

A bloody good one - thanks for asking :)

springsummerautumnpresents · 01/05/2014 13:49

What a waste of food!!! Shock (FYI the no.1 rule in our house is to never waste food, if you don't want it put it away for someone else)

FunLovinBunster · 01/05/2014 13:50

Tequila, shall we put Refuge/DV shelters/ Social Services/ NSPCC on alert because apparently there are some twats out there who say abuse is all the victims fault??? And if we don't all behave perfectly well hey let's just behave abusively towards them??

TequilaMockingbirdy · 01/05/2014 13:51

I think it would be a bloody good idea funlovin. It's an absolute disgrace that people still have that attitude :(

Impatientismymiddlename · 01/05/2014 13:53

A bloody good one - thanks for asking

By your standards maybe but most people would call a man who behaved like that a 'complete twat'.

FunLovinBunster · 01/05/2014 13:55

Next time I have a row with DP I shall be sure to tell him to give me a slap or two just because I don't agree with him....FFS.

FunLovinBunster · 01/05/2014 13:57

Impatient, I think the word you are looking for is a cunt...
Tell you what 70s, if DD forgets her water bottle again at pick up today, shall I lock her in a dark cellar because she didn't behave perfectly? Or would you care to suggest something else??

70hoursaweekandcounting · 01/05/2014 13:57

No he is not a twat but he is also not a self righteous, holy than though, if i disagree with you i will results to insults know it all type person

Standinginline · 01/05/2014 13:57

My mum did this to me when I was about 3/ 4 and whilst it hasn't traumatised me I still can't being myself to give her all my respect. We're close and I do love her but that along with other incidents ,just makes me realise how little control she had of the situation if she had to pour food over me. Actually it wasn't even a case I wasn't eating I was just eating too slow !! I know you think she won't remember but she will. I have memories from about 2.

Impatientismymiddlename · 01/05/2014 13:59

Not a twat by your standards, but most people would disagree that it's okay to tip somebody's dinner over their head. Do you also think it would be acceptable for him to display other forms of physically humiliating or abusive behaviours if you had behaved in a way that he didn't like?

Impatientismymiddlename · 01/05/2014 14:00

Fun lovin: yes 'cunt' would be another appropriate description.

FunLovinBunster · 01/05/2014 14:01

Time to wake up and smell the coffee 70s. Seriously.
Along with anyone else posting/lurking here who still thinks that abuse is all the victim's fault.
If you or your DC are at being abused, or you are scared for yours or their safety please please please take the courageous step of telling someone and getting out of this situation.

70hoursaweekandcounting · 01/05/2014 14:01

There are definitely some people with anger issues on this thread ......

70hoursaweekandcounting · 01/05/2014 14:02

OMG Fu. Your post has just made me lol

70hoursaweekandcounting · 01/05/2014 14:02

the only abuse I have relieved recently has been on this thread ;) -

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