2 girls walked my son out of the park

[Fcukfifa]

Hi, I have no idea if I'm posting in the right section.

I'm debating whether to ring my local police station or not.

I was at the park with my two sons (4 and 1) there was also four other couples with us.

I was holding my youngest and do admit that I was gabbing away with friends whilst my oldest was playing with his friends, running about etc.

Then my oh looked across the park and he was out of the parks gates but still within the fields, walking across to another play area. He was walking with two girls aged about 12/13/14. Oh ran and brought him back and the girls went to the other section.

We was all pretty shocked and obviously I feel HUGELY guilty I took my eyes away from him!!

After about 5 minutes I started to seethe with the 2 girls so got up, walked to the other area and confronted them about it.

My son said they knew his name and where he lived, so I asked them if they did in fact know these things and they said no, I then said I don't appreciate them walking my son away from the park and I suggest they don't do it with any other children in the future (I was a bit shouty and had to wrap it up quickly because I started to feel really angry)

Anyway... I don't know, I guess I'm angry at myself, angry at them...a bit in shock...should I report it at the police station?
I keep thinking about Jamie bulger :(

Sorry if this is a bit rambley!

Completely agree Ledkr.

but ledkr, noone knows what actually happened at all

you know what - i would always ask my kids what happened before assuming they had done something wrong

Yes that's what the op did, she did it while feeling angry and frightened which she was justified in doing.
Tbh I'd still want to know what they were doing but it appears op has decided not to follow it through largely down to this thread.
I just hope that doesn't prove to be damning fit someone else's child.

Just hide the thread - these kind of discussions go around in circles for ages :)

she didn at all!

she said

do you know his name?

do you know where he lives?

i meant you with your kids ledkr btw
i would never just go 'wtf were you thinking of' bollock bollock bollock just cos some random adult told me they'd been leading their child out of a toddler park to another play area. i would ask them what their version of events was. i think that is the more reasonable response tbh (as the mother of the preteens not the op, although that wouldnt have been a bad start for the op either)

OP.
It is your responsibility to keep your son close to you, maybe your OH responsibility, NOT the other kids at the playground.

If your child is unable to OBEY your own rules of not wandering off, how will he OBEY other children telling him to go back to where you are?

And why your OH didn't talk to the girls and found out what happened for a fact when he picked your son up?

You both sound very weird and childish.

And you were shouting at the girls from a distance away, it doesn't matter. I am sure your tone of voice and facial expression were pretty nasty and scary. I would have had an attitude (to defend myself against you) as an adult, never mind if I was a pre-teen or a teenager.
You didn't even asked them what happened...asked random stupid questions and were controlling yourself not to smack them?? Grow Up.

If the girls were doing anything wrong I am sure they would have vanished just after you OH "snapped" your son up.

just cos some random adult told me they'd been leading their child out of a toddler park to another play area.

I believe the random adult was actually her husband. So not very random really.

Falconi I think you've missed off telling me to Get A Grip too

sigh

ok

ledkr is the imaginary parent of the (pre) teens and a social worker

if a random adult (op or ops dh) told her that ledkrs kids had been caught taking their toddler out of a park, ledkrs response to her (pre) teens would have been

1 no probs that you shouted at my kids
2 wtf were you thinking of, my pre teens!

i would not respond that way and think quite reasonably i would have said

1 preteens, are you ok?
2 preteens, could you tell me your version of events while i listen because i dont just jump in and believe everything some random adult (op or ops dh) tells me about you, and i would like to hear your side of the story

One thing I have for sure learned is it's very hard to get across the context of things that happened on an Internet forum!

In future ill stick to discussing how baggy my flange is after children, and lay off bullying young people in the park

It is not hard OP, it is clear.
You and your OH were not supervising your child.
Your child seems to be easily distracted away from you.
You and your OH over react and blame other people (children) for your own mistakes.
You accuse other people (children) of be doing something evil to justify your lack of control and mature reaction.
Yes get a grip.

that's about it falconi
summed up very well

Falconi earlier in the thread you wrote that you are quite a laid back relaxed mum and it never happened you to. Therefore you couldn't judge this case.

And in a short space of time have gone on to call me and my partner weird and childish. That I need to grow up oh yes and to get a grip.

I haven't once disputed that I obviously wasn't supervising my child properly, and that he is easily distracted. But I haven't called the girls evil etc. and just as easily as I may have thought the girls were older (still think more towards 13/14 age) there is every possibility they could be even older yet look younger - who knows??

(To you)

You haven't called them evil but you assumed they had evil intentions and even mentioned a horrifying case that happened many years ago. Also you not seem to think your reaction was inappropriate.
And why didn't your OH stopped them and asked reasonable questions to the 3 children when he had the chance?
But I said I wouldn't judge so shouldn't be posting.
Bye.

I would have reacted the same way, in panic, then felt awful later on when I had calmed down, and probably try to find teens to apologise. Don't be too hard on yourself OP. The fact that you felt guilty will have made the whole thing worse for you. Just be glad to have learned a valuable lesson.

My little ones loved older children. Then when they grew up they were very good with younger ones, partly due to having young siblings they helped supervise. They were often appreciated by friends for supervising and would have cared for any small child who attached themselves and wouldn't have abandoned them. Most children and teenagers I know are like this.

It is likely to happen again as it is quite natural to make friends in the park. Maybe next time, start from the premise that the older girls were being kind and thank them for caring for a child who was alone, and then suggest they dont wander off with such a small one who wants to accompany them even though stopping to search for absent parents is going to interfere with their own activities.

Little kids are always following DD. She is 12. There's something about her that seems to attract them, I think it's because she is pretty and looks kind.

She would be devastated if someone approached her in a park and shouted at her and would probably not even manage to force out a monosyllabic reply. I'm sorry, but I think the reaction was a bit OTT.

Ledkr being a social worker is quite worrying. Social workers are supposed to be open minded and non judgemental and be able to assess and balance risk factors appropriately. The OP acted with very little evidence of anything untoward, therefore her actions were judgemental and close minded. Shouldn't a social worker be more concerned with how a 4 year old managed to wander so far before his parents decided that they needed to pay more attention to his safety and less to their adult conversation?

Oh super idea, lets turn this into a social worker bashing thread now. I don't suppose those are the only things ledkr would say in the situation. Would you prefer that she had written up a complete assessment of the situation and published it here for your perusal?

And you don't know if the child wandered, or was taken. No one here does. And obviously the child didn't get that far before he was spotted by the husband. So there wouldn't be many questions about that at all, would there.

It's really obvious that your unsupervised 4 year old told the girls his name and his school and that's how they knew who he was. Because he's 4 and that's what they think at that age - they tell someone their name and then they say they know them.

Your attitude was very off with the older children due to your own guilt - she wouldn't have had a clue what you were taking about when you asked her if she knew his name.

It wasn't attitude it was defensiveness because a stranger was being funny with her. Unlike your 4 year old she is much more at risk of harm from random folks in the park and she has much more of a sense of stranger danger.

Not social work bashing at all. I have a background in social work and I was shocked that a social worker would ignore the obvious parenting failure (which is the only thing that is factual and a known entity) and pick up on the girls possible intentions, which is not factual and which we have no evidence of.