2 girls walked my son out of the park

[Fcukfifa]

Hi, I have no idea if I'm posting in the right section.

I'm debating whether to ring my local police station or not.

I was at the park with my two sons (4 and 1) there was also four other couples with us.

I was holding my youngest and do admit that I was gabbing away with friends whilst my oldest was playing with his friends, running about etc.

Then my oh looked across the park and he was out of the parks gates but still within the fields, walking across to another play area. He was walking with two girls aged about 12/13/14. Oh ran and brought him back and the girls went to the other section.

We was all pretty shocked and obviously I feel HUGELY guilty I took my eyes away from him!!

After about 5 minutes I started to seethe with the 2 girls so got up, walked to the other area and confronted them about it.

My son said they knew his name and where he lived, so I asked them if they did in fact know these things and they said no, I then said I don't appreciate them walking my son away from the park and I suggest they don't do it with any other children in the future (I was a bit shouty and had to wrap it up quickly because I started to feel really angry)

Anyway... I don't know, I guess I'm angry at myself, angry at them...a bit in shock...should I report it at the police station?
I keep thinking about Jamie bulger :(

Sorry if this is a bit rambley!

Poor James Bulgerbwas killed over 20 years ago in an utterly shocking and exceptional case. Of course you felt anxious to lose sight of your son but this kind of thing - little children tagging on to bigger ones - happens all the time. Parks are not full of pre teenage girls abducting and hurting small children or even attempting deliberately to take them away. They are more likely to help a list child ime. An angry reaction from a parent who decides not to establish a few facts is nt going to encourage kind behaviour in future, sadly.

My word! My teenager can say any word dripping with sarcasm/contempt/loathing, infact they all could.
Words would end up being banned - even love - because they were so 'lovely'. Teenagers are the pits, they can be lovely one minute and beyond vile the next. If this had happened to me I know I wouldn't have been so calm. I think you reacted really well, OP. It's not just the Jamie Bulger case case, does no one remember Mary Bell??? How many little boys did she and her friend kill, was it 3?

I think you've stopped another tragedy.

It's weird.

Any child over the age of 9 or 10 would know not to take another,younger child that they didn't know away from sight of their parents.

Even if your son was following them they should have shooed him away.

I'm probably going to be flamed for this but my first thoughts were about Mary Bell and her friend.

so every child over the the of 9 is a potential child killer now?
Jesus wept

I suggest you talk to your son about not not going with strangers and making sure he plays within boundaries.
Sounds like the poor kids you shouted at were defensive because you were so aggressive. And if they looked 12, the chances are they were younger than this as it's impossible to tell the age of young girls, they often look a lot older than they are.
As for thinking she's stopped 'another tragedy' Hairy, that's VERY unlikely, and verging on hysterical.

I was thinking about this further and was considering what it might sound like if one of the mums of the girls had posted on here asking for advice:

My daughter just came him from the park where she had been hanging out with her friend and told me that she had been on the receiving end of some irate woman shouting at her. This is what she said happened:
She and her friend was stood in the park leaning against some railings when a little boy came up to talk to them-
Boy: my name is fcukfifas kid, what's your name?
My daughter: Anna
Boy: what you doing?
My daughter: nothing much, we are just going to sit over there in a minute.
Boy: can I come, my mum said I'm allowed as she will still be able to see me and she lets me go over there all of the time.

My daughter thought nothing of it and when she started walking the boy followed her and her friend. They were not out of the mothers eyesight, but my daughter said the mother was just chatting to her friends and didn't seem too bothered. Next minute she said the mother has come raging at her, asking accusatory sounding questions and made her feel like she had done something very wrong.
My daughter wouldn't hurt a fly. I feel like this mother should keep a better eye on her kid and not go around accusing innocent children of doing things they haven't done just because she feels ashamed that she was so distracted any uninterested in her own kids whereabouts that he almost wandered out of her sight.
I feel like going to the park to see if she is still there and shout at her in the same way she has shouted at my daughter.
What do you think?

May be unlikely, Cosikitty' BUT, sadly it has happened.
There's nothing wrong allowing a 4 year old a little freedom in a park, but older kids taking him elsewhere isn't on. Nearly everyone is calling the OP out for having a go at 2 girls escorting her child out of the park, I think she acted very restrained given that it has happened before, more than once.
Better to be hysterical and safe.

better to be hysterical and safe

not really

statistically you will be safe anyway. hysteria wont stop anything bad happening to your kids but seeing child abusers everywhere, including in preteens, is going to make life pretty stressful and full of anxiety.

just because once every twenty years or so, a child is abducted by an older child, there is no need to assume op has prevented some kind of tragedy.

Small children attach themselves to older children all the time.

Children are far, far more likely to be harmed by an accident than by child abduction which is extremely rare.

For all we know if the girls hadn't have spoken to the little boy he'd have wandered off and got himself into real danger.

Agree with mercibucket.

Is there any point of writing down a totally different scenario, you don't know what was said, you don't know if he just followed them or not.

I acted on what the situation felt like to me at the time, it's all very well thinking of the million conversations they could have had afterwards.

But teenage girls are not stupid, the majority of them would not lead a small child out of the park gates. Even if it was (as I suspect) a momentary lapse in judgement it's something they would think twice of in future.

He wasn't in my eyesight either, I was sat on a bench feeding my 1 yr old, it my was oh who was sat on the grass that saw them.

And as I said, I know that I took my eye off him for too long, but I didn't accuse two girls of something because I was ashamed of my self. It's easily done as many other posters have agreed with.

Your girl may be very sweet and kind and not do anything untoward along with a big proportion of others, but there is a small percentage that are capable of being sly, manipulative etc.

Is there any point of writing down a totally different scenario, you don't know what was said, you don't know if he just followed them or not.

I acted on what the situation felt like to me at the time, it's all very well thinking of the million conversations they could have had afterwards.

But teenage girls are not stupid, the majority of them would not lead a small child out of the park gates. Even if it was (as I suspect) a momentary lapse in judgement it's something they would think twice of in future.

He wasn't in my eyesight either, I was sat on a bench feeding my 1 yr old, it my was oh who was sat on the grass that saw them.

And as I said, I know that I took my eye off him for too long, but I didn't accuse two girls of something because I was ashamed of my self. It's easily done as many other posters have agreed with.

Your girl may be very sweet and kind and not do anything untoward along with a big proportion of others, but there is a small percentage that are capable of being sly, manipulative etc.

Oops, sorry for the duplicate post!

Totally with mercibucket here. One incident of child killers in 1957 and another in 1993. He's far more likely to suffer some kind of fatal accident IN the park than be led away by psychotic child killers.

I don't think that there was any threat from these girls, they just sound daft rather than malicious. Of course you did the right thing to get him back, but to spend hours agonising and being upset about it is OTT.

surely you need to be focussing on your OH here? he is the one at fault. children at much more likely to be killed by a car than a stranger abduction.

I'm getting made out to be some hysterical stark raving mad woman!
Yes I did shout, but they was also quite a distance from me, I wasn't shouting in their face!
And at the end my voice wobbled which probably sounded to them as if I was about to cry but that was from shock.
My ds was also right next me, and there's no way I would behave unreasonably in front of him.

It's others who are being hysterical OP.

I don't really know why I keep coming back to this to be honest because I just keep repeating myself.

Once I had got home and had a cup of tea I posted on here (first thread!) I was calm and put it down to experience.

(Again as I have already said!) it's very easy to say what the correct approach should have been, and if someone had told me to imagine it happening I would assume I would have been entirely calm etc. But as it goes I wasn't.

I wasn't screaming.

tbh i think it is very clear you dont get how older kids can be very intimidated by being approached in this way by an adult.

not your fault, you only have younger children, but one day he will be a big hulking teen, still soft and cuddly and kind, but some adults will treat him like he is dangerous scum and you will feel sad.

for reference, teenagers cant tell what a neutral face is apparently, as their brains remodel they are unable to distinguish neutral and aggressive. your actions and words will have been interpreted as more aggressive than you think.

a few lessons to be learned here but no harm done.

If my older kids were told off for trying to lead a toddler away in a park, the very least of my concerns would be that they were shouted at, if want to know what the fuck they thought they were doing.
Also as a cp social worker I can assure you many bad things have happened as well as two well publicised cases, you don't see everything in the news!