2 girls walked my son out of the park

[Fcukfifa]

Hi, I have no idea if I'm posting in the right section.

I'm debating whether to ring my local police station or not.

I was at the park with my two sons (4 and 1) there was also four other couples with us.

I was holding my youngest and do admit that I was gabbing away with friends whilst my oldest was playing with his friends, running about etc.

Then my oh looked across the park and he was out of the parks gates but still within the fields, walking across to another play area. He was walking with two girls aged about 12/13/14. Oh ran and brought him back and the girls went to the other section.

We was all pretty shocked and obviously I feel HUGELY guilty I took my eyes away from him!!

After about 5 minutes I started to seethe with the 2 girls so got up, walked to the other area and confronted them about it.

My son said they knew his name and where he lived, so I asked them if they did in fact know these things and they said no, I then said I don't appreciate them walking my son away from the park and I suggest they don't do it with any other children in the future (I was a bit shouty and had to wrap it up quickly because I started to feel really angry)

Anyway... I don't know, I guess I'm angry at myself, angry at them...a bit in shock...should I report it at the police station?
I keep thinking about Jamie bulger :(

Sorry if this is a bit rambley!

Possibly you might have had better response if you had called your DS over by name and given a reminder like "Don't go where you can't see me/out of the park, remember?" Then you would have had an opening to say "Girls, I'm sure you meant well but just so you know it's really not a good idea to be taking little children away from the park, OK?"

I mean, I'm definitely not judging what you did say because it's totally natural to be scared and panic but I think that what you were trying to communicate probably got totally lost on them and hence their response got miscommunicated to you as well.

Yes BertieBotts.

Yes I agree Bertie. They may well have been confused as to why OP asked them his name/address.

I have a 13 year old ds. I don't know what he'd have done in this situation if a child had followed him and a friend. If the parent approached him in an anxious state and asked him if he knew the child's name/address he'd have been totally perplexed.

My other ds was the child who used to attach himself to teens in the park and I remember him ending up at the opposite side of the park a few times while I was sorting out ds2, so I know just how quickly it can happen and that feeling of your heart stopping.

I think children of this age should no better. I would report it just so it is on record.

everything BertieBotts says

that conversation sounds surreal and i am not a (pre) teen

I think if it had been two boys that had walked off with him then a lot more people would have said to report it... It shouldn't be any different because they were girls.

At first I was horrified. And I immediately thought of JB.
But then I remembered that I have been guilty of chatting away and not paying attention to my ds's.

I am not sure how I feel about this.

Thanks Bertie, your post helped put things in perspective, I have no experience of teenage girls or boys.

Trying to imagine how I think I would react and how I actually did are two different scenes. I wish I had been calmer or even just asked what has happened rather than wading in with the two direct questions.

I was because my lo had said "but they know my name and where I live" which struck me as odd so the questions
just flew out of my mouth!

I promise I don't usually go to the park to bully young people! :D

Excuse the typos etc, stupid sausage fingers on my iphone!

They should have known better, as I said earlier my elder two boys are 14 and 11 and would not do this ever, intact if they were followed by a small child as they left a park they would tell the child to go back to their parents, ds2 is a magnet to small kids, he is great with them and often ends up with a little gang following him at the park but he tends to say hello to their parents ans be polite and friendly and direct the little ones back to their parents if they get roofer from them.

Oblomov, it was the image of him walking away with two teenagers/children either side of him that freaked me out and reminded me of that horrific cctc footage.....instant panic!

Could they have been looking for you? did they see your ds with you.
They could have been worried about him or he could even have followed them.
I know we have to be careful but not every child is a potential murderer.
Sounds innocent to me, but if it makes you feel better call the police.
You have no reason to feel guilty at 4 you should be able to take your eyes off them for a minute. Perhaps because you do feel guilty though you are wanting some sort of punishment for the girls.

Every child (person) has a different level of maturity.
Because your pre-teen wouldn't let a small child walk with them doesn't mean others are that aware too.
My own child is very impulsive but even at 4 would never walk along or going long distances with people she doesn't know.

I expect his comment of "But they know my name and where I live" was preschooler speak for "But they seem friendly and nice, I have been talking to them, and we're close to home/I'm with you" and possibly he's got "knowing your name and where you live" as a shorthand for "safe person" meaning relative/family friend from somewhere, perhaps school/nursery have tried to explain it in terms of that.

I totally get that the image of them walking away had horrific associations for you and that kind of reaction is guttural - you don't think, you just do - but please know, it will have been totally innocent. They won't have known about the Bulger killers. I'm 25 so I would have been around four or five at the time that it happened, and I was totally unaware of the case until I was an older teenager and came across people making reference to it and one day googled it. If I ever saw it on the news it had gone over my head, or perhaps my parents had chosen to protect me from such a violent and frightening news story. I think anyone younger would be in a similar position, especially children born several years after it happened.

I wouldn't be so sure Falconi. Four year olds can be easily persuaded and someone who seems to be unknown can quickly switch to "known" at their age. Most of them have been at nursery for a year at least, and they'll be starting school, both of which involve being left, at least at first, in a new place with lots of people they don't know.

I see Bertie
Of course I can't be so sure.
But I have always been keen on outdoors spaces and I am quite laid back, keep an eye while they explore, kind of mum, and it never happened to us. Therefore I can not judge this case.

Impatient, what if your son came home and said that he had asked a four year old boy if he wanted to come to a different part of the park with him and his friend?

My son wouldn't do that, but he wouldn't tell a 4 year old to fuck off and stop following him either. The OP doesn't know that the girls asked her child to come with them.

To add: my son would have probably ignored a 4 year old who is trying to follow him around because he would be scared of being accused of something by somebody like the OP.

To be honest morethan I don't have a clue what was happening.

mulling it over on here (new poster too) has confused me even more, some users agree it was weird, some that I was over the top, some agree with me and others not - which is all fine!

I'm just glad that I've got him snoring next to me, the girls will have had a short sharp shock but probably wont get themselves into that situation again so everything's ok.

When thinking of reporting to the police it wasn't so they would get punished, it was just incase god forbid anything did happen there would be a note on file or similar.

bertie your comment about not knowing how a no can be said with attitude, I've been saying it over and over again to try to describe it properly haha! its so hard to describe! Have you ever heard the hull accent? She had her hand on her hip and did that kind of ghetto neck kink thing with the chin to the side. No-kink-oooo. Kind of like how I answer oh when he asks me to wash his footy socks

I think you should report that some girls are potentially trying to walk off with young children in the park just in case any kids go missing.

I hope that he latched on to them and asked them to take him to that park but who knows.

Another point to consider is they could have had ld? my 10 year old dsd with asd and brain damage often will start talking to and try to play with young children and babies. she will even try and pick them up sometimes if you don't watch her like a hawk and she just wouldn't understand why she couldn't take a child somewhere else, especially if the child asked to go, if she hadn't broken her own rules (for example if I said you have to stay where I can see you, as long as she was In my eye sight she wouldn't see why it wasn't ok.

I'm sure James Bulger's parents would have felt a bit silly if they'd pulled the lads up who walked him away.

Hmm, no, I'm still with you op. I know exactly how that no could be said with attitude. The chances are its completely innocent. Tiny chance its not. You don't know which it is, nor does anyone here. But you're completely right to be concerned. Certainly you will keep a close eye out in the future. I have a ds who goes wandering. Very occasionally I get distracted for a minute or so. Then he tends to vanish in that tiny timeframe. Its not easy.

I think it's quite weird that a 12 - 14 y.o would walk off with a 4 year old (if that is actually what was happening? The fact that he was walking between them suggests it was). At that age, if a toddler was following me & my friends in a park I would have looked round for his mum. I might not have bothered to take him back to her, but I would have said "where's your mum, you need to go back to her." And if the mother had accosted me I would have got defensive and the first thing I would have said was "but he followed us!"

I think the situation is a bit weird & you're right to be concerned OP.