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Original poster

2 girls walked my son out of the park

169 replies

Fcukfifa · 18/04/2014 20:36

Hi, I have no idea if I'm posting in the right section.

I'm debating whether to ring my local police station or not.

I was at the park with my two sons (4 and 1) there was also four other couples with us.

I was holding my youngest and do admit that I was gabbing away with friends whilst my oldest was playing with his friends, running about etc.

Then my oh looked across the park and he was out of the parks gates but still within the fields, walking across to another play area. He was walking with two girls aged about 12/13/14. Oh ran and brought him back and the girls went to the other section.

We was all pretty shocked and obviously I feel HUGELY guilty I took my eyes away from him!!

After about 5 minutes I started to seethe with the 2 girls so got up, walked to the other area and confronted them about it.

My son said they knew his name and where he lived, so I asked them if they did in fact know these things and they said no, I then said I don't appreciate them walking my son away from the park and I suggest they don't do it with any other children in the future (I was a bit shouty and had to wrap it up quickly because I started to feel really angry)

Anyway... I don't know, I guess I'm angry at myself, angry at them...a bit in shock...should I report it at the police station?
I keep thinking about Jamie bulger :(

Sorry if this is a bit rambley!

OP posts:
lola88 · 19/04/2014 09:35

Then my oh looked across the park and he was out of the parks gates but still within the fields, walking across to another play area

This does not sound like they were taking him out of the whole park just out of the fence round the play equipment and over to another set of play equipment, they were still there 5 min later when the OP went over so had not disappeared or run away they were playing.

Impatientismymiddlename · 19/04/2014 09:36

Whilst reading this I thought it sounded like he had followed them and said that they knew his name etc as he didn't want you to think that he had wandered off with strangers.

If they were holding his hand and leading him away then you need to go to the police but if he was trailing along with them then perhaps just keep a close eye on him next time and move on from it. If the girls had really been up to no good they probably would have scarpered rather than going to another nearby part of the park.

notadoctor · 19/04/2014 09:37

I can understand how terrified you must have been but think there was probably nothing sinister in it. Older girls can like looking after little ones.

Having said that, I still think you should report it so that it is logged just in case. Also, however innocent thier intentions, the girls really need to learn that they can't do that.

5madthings · 19/04/2014 09:39

I have children this age, they often play with little ones in the park as they have younger siblings, but they would never take a child away from their parents. They tend to say hello and introduce themselves to the patents as well, they are Old enough to know better.

ScrambledEggAndToast · 19/04/2014 09:41

Definitely report it. Children younger than that have murdered children, I'm sure I don't need to mention names.

lola88 · 19/04/2014 09:42

Goblinchild no i'm thinking of BIL who's 14 now it's only been the last 6 months he's started to grow up he was still very much a daft child at 12.

They took him to other play equipment NOT out of the whole park from one section to another it's hardly sinister. OP also said she got up and walked to the other area suggesting that it was close by suggesting they were not taking him very far they likely thought it was ok.

Goblinchild · 19/04/2014 09:43

When DS is in the playpark with his younger cousins, he often gets used as a climbing frame by random small people, or used to push things and help if they get stuck on something.
But he'd never walk off with a child, even if they were chatty and following him, which also happens. He'd look for their adult.

Shockers · 19/04/2014 09:43

Whatever the circumstances, these girls need to know that even if a small child was to follow them, they need to be responsible and look around for parents/carers. If not following them but being led then they most definitely need to know that this will get them into a lot of trouble.

I'm not surprised you almost lost it, I would be scared too.

Goblinchild · 19/04/2014 09:45

So you'd be fine if this happened with your LO, lola? No anxiety at all, no need to warn the girls that it wasn't a good choice to make?

Finola1step · 19/04/2014 09:46

It does seem a bit OTT to tell the police but, anyone who remembers the James Bulger case will understand your concerns. If I was in your shoes, I would pop into my local station and have a quiet word. You may well not be the only one.

Martorana · 19/04/2014 09:46

I would want to know the OP's son's side of the story before I went completely off the deep end.

lola88 · 19/04/2014 09:53

I would be watching a 4 year old it's to young to not be watched somewhere open, If young girls took DS out I wouldn't fire over all guns blazing I would tell them to ask next time not treat them like criminals because I was to busy chatting to watch my kid.

OP makes it sound like they took him out of the park but it seems they were in a large park with sections with different play equipment in each they were taking him from one section of the park to another not stealing him away into the woods. She's completely over reacted blaming these girls because of her own guilt.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 19/04/2014 10:00

Jamie Bulger was 20 years ago. Which shows how incredibly rare it is for there to be an awful consequence.
Teens are almost always heedless rather than murderers.

It was ok to shout at the teens (and yes they may well show a defensive attitude). Police is way OTT.

Original poster
Fcukfifa · 19/04/2014 10:05

Thanks for the replies!
Of course I know I should have been watching my son far more carefully, we go to the park every week so I guess it's easy to become complacent. I also think because me and oh was there you assume the other is watching?

I really hope the two girls was totally innocent and wanted to take him to a different area, although it's only the free gym part so not a kiddy related area. Also next to a huge pond. However, if nothing else comes of it, at least I think they will think twice before doing it again.

I've asked my son what they was chatting about etc but he's only 4 and saying he can't remember. I've told him lots of times about strangers but he's adamant they wasn't strangers, 'just girls'!

OP posts:
BerylStreep · 19/04/2014 10:07

I have to agree with Lola and defineme.

You sound like you were very out of control. Hands got that tingling feeling that you get when you are about to smack someone - It sounds like you have massive anger issues and you were about to take it out on two 12 year old girls. That would account for the defensive attitude.

No harm in reporting the incident to police for information, however if police don't have the names there is very little they are likely to be able to do.

The fact that the girls remained playing in the area suggests to me that they did not have sinister intentions.

Goblinchild · 19/04/2014 10:10

Exactly, OYBBC. Teenagers are often heedless, and small children drown or are involved in road accidents on a regular basis in the summer. So they wander off with him, remember that they are supposed to be doing something else and tell him to go back to his mum. On his own.

mercibucket · 19/04/2014 10:11

without seeing the park it is hard to say

of course, really they shouldnt have taken him out through any gates, but they are also young

if it is like our parks, no big deal, the play areas are near each other, kids move from one to another, i wouldnt see anything sinister in it at all.

i wouldnt expect much sense off a 12 year old (or younger and looks older) being confronted by an angry adult.maybe they know him from school? theyre not going to tell you that

but hard to say. of course they shouldnt have taken him beyond the gates. good to remind them of this.

Original poster
Fcukfifa · 19/04/2014 10:14

I'm also quite relaxed (maybe too much going from yesterday!) and don't think every tom dick and Harry is a child abductor, but the whole situation was so surreal!

The park is in a big set of fields. There are football fields, a big pond, a swimming pool, a free gym area, caged birds and animal area and also a gated park area that is enclosed all around. They was out of the park, around the corner of the toilets walking adjacent to the pond towards the free gym and football fields. (But only about a minute or so of walking away)

There was some more family's around when I shouted and I was hoping their parents would have been there but everyone just looked shocked.

OP posts:
lola88 · 19/04/2014 10:14

OP I don't mean to offend you I can understand it must have been very frighting I'm just thinking from the point of view if BIL would have come home saying a woman shouted at him and was angry because they went from one section to another my reaction would have been he shouldn't taken a little kid away without asking but I would be really angry he was being accused of worse than stupidity. I think you need to really think about if it really was suspicious or if it was just your fear making you see the worst. Like i say go to the police there can be no harm just incase but I wouldn't expect to much from it.

annielewis · 19/04/2014 10:15

Also agree with some of the others that you are probably more angry with yourself for not watching him closely and its actually more your guilt - sorry if I wind you up. Also I think its relevant that Jamie Bulger was only 2, your son is $. They are a lot more likely to go wondering off and be fascinated by older kids at 4. My daughter is this age and would happily follow older kids off out of the park without a second thought. I have to watch her like a hawk but as long as I can still see her I let her have a bit of free reign as I think its good for them at that age.

I think you were right to tell the girls you werent happy with them taking him off but think reporting it to the police is a bit ott to be honest,.

BrianTheMole · 19/04/2014 10:19

Theres no harm in flagging it up with the police op. Its unlikely that those girls were anything but irresponsible with bad attitude. But still, at 14 you can't just walk off with someone else's child. A word from the local community officer may help them understand this a little better.

Original poster
Fcukfifa · 19/04/2014 10:19

I also wasn't shouting in their faces, there was a good 6 to 10 feet distance between us and gym equipment. It was mostly the attitude that got me raging.
If they had just said oh god I'm sorry, we just chatting and he followed us, or, we thought he was lost etc etc, I would have just said said ok, don't do it again it can look bad.

But it felt....off!

It's also very easy to say how you should/should not act in hindsight, at the time you've got a million things running through your mind!

I wasn't abusive, didn't swear etc, I just shouted "I would appreciate you to not take my child away from the park and I suggest you don't do it again with any other child"

After asking if they knew his name and where he lived.

OP posts:
missedith01 · 19/04/2014 10:20

My 4 yo would definitely follow someone or invite himself into a group of older kids - he finds older kids fascinating. So, I think you are right to be concerned but it was probably nothing and I'm not surprised the girls had attitude, I know I did at their age! :-)

Original poster
Fcukfifa · 19/04/2014 10:24

Oh it's ok, I'm not offended =)
I'm not a real life shouty ogre ha!

I'm not sure why I posted on here, it's just nice to talk something out with people who can look more objectively.

There was a big group of us at the park (about 10-15 plus children) and we was all shocked that he managed to slip away!

If it happened to anyone else I would probably think the same about watching more closely too :)

OP posts:
AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 19/04/2014 10:24

For heaven's sake, be reasonable. When you were 14yo, would YOU have simply wandered off with a stranger's child? Seriously? Would you have taken a stranger's child to another part of a playground? I certainly wouldn't have. I wouldn't even have taken a small child that I knew (and knew the parents) to another part of a playground without checking with the parents. I would venture to say that most 14yo's have a pretty good notion that it's not a great idea.

I'm not saying they were up to no good, as obviously I wasn't there. But those that are saying "oh they were probably just taking him to another part of the park or playground" IMO are not thinking like a 14yo. A 8-10 yo, maybe. A 14yo? Not likely.

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