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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

opinions on this please, folk.

71 replies

colditz · 17/08/2006 14:06

Ds1 is 3. He is a little horror atm who won't stay in his room, or wake me up first thing, he just gets up and does as he pleases.

someone has suggested I put a security chain on his bedroom door, but would this be considered abusive, or neglectful, or

Basically are people going to think I am a bad mother who leaves him locked in his bedroom day and night?

Would anyone not do this? Why, and what would you do instead?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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nailpolish · 17/08/2006 14:08

i wouldnt use a chain, i would be worried about fire

what about a stairgate?

Original poster

colditz · 17/08/2006 14:09

he has a stair gate, he has been able to open it for 6 months.

OP posts:

Iklboo · 17/08/2006 14:09

I'm with np on this - a stairgate would be easy to fit & use. YOu can get ones with a 'latch' on the top that has to be pressed before you can lift & open the gate - stops tiny terrors opening it.

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compo · 17/08/2006 14:10

My sister trained my nephew at that age to come downstairs and turn on the Tv to the cartoons. Could you try that? Maybe use reward chart for if he does it nicely and threaten to use stairgate on his room if he creates havoc instead?

Original poster

colditz · 17/08/2006 14:10

It is one where you have to press a button, lift the latch, then lift the gate. He can open it quicker than me.

I am scared of him working the front door keys out and running off, which I really could see him doing.

OP posts:

BlueBeetle · 17/08/2006 14:10

What about trying a new stairgate - there will be one that he can't undo ! My dd couldn't undo the travel ones ! I'd be uncomfortable about a chain tbh.

TheLadyVanishes · 17/08/2006 14:10

I wouldn't do it, why because its probably going to scare him, I would as a last resort get a joiner (someone you know if you can so you don't get charged the earth) get a purpose built gate but a bigger one so the lock would be too high for him to reach.

have you tried once of those lights that come on at a certain time and tell him to get up when it comes on and do a little treat at the end of the month if he sticks to it

Original poster

colditz · 17/08/2006 14:11

He comes downstair, switches the computer on, opens all sorts of files, helps himself out of fridge, I am petrified he will try to copy mummy and cook somerthing

OP posts:

compo · 17/08/2006 14:11

put front door keys out of his reach before you go to bed?

compo · 17/08/2006 14:12

What time does he get up? I guess you could set your alarm to ensure that you are awake and can supervise him?

nailpolish · 17/08/2006 14:12

my dd1 (who is almost 4) does this

we have a simple plan in force - we leave a cup of juice and a bowl of grapes/bread and butter/cereal/whatever in the fridge and i allow dd1 to switch the telly on herself

she NEVER comes and wakes me, i have no idea why, but i am quite safe in the knowledge that i know she will just get her brekkie out of the fridge and switch the telly on and just veg and watch it

Original poster

colditz · 17/08/2006 14:13

there honestly is not much that is out of reach for him. I caught him standing in the windowsill 20 minutes ago, and it's a high windowsill.

are there any stairgates that are really hard work then?

OP posts:

GeorginaA · 17/08/2006 14:13

How about the roller blind style gates - I struggle to open hours... ds1 at 5 still can't open them...

FWIW though, I don't think a chain is a bad idea as long as it's easy to get off in a hurry. He'll still be able to see you and call out. In a fire, surely it's no worse than having a chain on your front door or you having to open a stairgate to get to him? Seems like a good cheap fix, imo.

TambaTheAnnoyingPurpleDragon · 17/08/2006 14:13

My kids are the same (4 and 2) instead of waking me up in the morning they sneak down stairs, raid the fridge and make a mess.

The little one cant actually open his bedroom door but ds2 lets him out.

I wouldnt put a chain on his door, because I have this thing about fire risks and if something happened and he needed to get out etc etc

Saying that though, I have no solutions. I just gave up and sort out the mess when I wake up. I do leave them a beaker and cereal bar on the side though in the vain hope it will mean they dont raid the fridge, I take anything unchildfriendly out of the living room, make sure there are no sharp knives lying around in the kitchen and that the telly is set to cbeebies. DS1 knows that DS2 isnt allowed out of the living room so shuts the stair gate for me.

yorkshirelass79 · 17/08/2006 14:13

Message withdrawn

nailpolish · 17/08/2006 14:14

she used to get up at about 530, but what we did was get a timer thing (that you plug in) and we put a plug in nightlight on it, and set it to 645am

so therefore the nightlight comes on at 645, and she knows its ok to get up without a row

it took a while but it kind of works now

Original poster

colditz · 17/08/2006 14:14

That is going to be the next step compo. I will set the alarm and just make sure I am up and ready to catch him LOL

OP posts:

GeorginaA · 17/08/2006 14:14

Oh, and my ds2 is the same, although fortunately he can't open the stairgates yet.

He regularly wanders downstairs and sets our house alarm off in the morning without it ...

BlueBeetle · 17/08/2006 14:14

OR - could you lock the kitchen door, sitting room door - high bolts I am thinking - so he has nothing interesting to do and maybe he'll stay in his room then ?

nailpolish · 17/08/2006 14:15

thats a goo d idea - lock every door except his (ie downstairs)

Original poster

colditz · 17/08/2006 14:26

Good idea about other doors. I could put chains on th front door, kitchen door and bathroom door, and leave some breakfast on the table in the living room. Unfortunately our houseis openplan, so no door between living room and landing.

OP posts:

nailpolish · 17/08/2006 14:31

just remember about fire, colditz (although im sure you do)

seb1 · 17/08/2006 14:36

On this on you can turn the 2 blue bits at the bottom to lock but it is probably quite easy for them to work out stairgate

CheesyFeet · 17/08/2006 14:39

TBH I don't think a chain in a fire would be that bad would it? If it's not attached too securely would you be able to break down the door if neccessary? I think you need to weigh up the relative dangers, and I think he would be in more danger of doing something that would hurt him by wandering round the house unsupervised rather than the small risk of a fire.

As for getting out of the house, could you lock the outside doors after he's gone to bed and then hide the keys so he doesn't know where to find them? Maybe on a hook inside your wardrobe door or something so he would probably wake you if he tried to get hold of them.

GeorginaA · 17/08/2006 14:41

Yep, a flimsy chain would be no more delaying than a stairgate, imo.

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