Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Keeping DS off school for his DB's Birthday

79 replies

YesAnastasia · 23/01/2014 09:15

He's in reception (4.5) and it's just one day. He's had a rubbish week (he has SEN) and has been having meltdowns all over the place.

We would go out for lunch & maybe visit somewhere fun (and educational). They don't legally have to be in school until they're 5 anyway.

Please take the guilt away Mumsnet.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
MirandaWest · 23/01/2014 09:20

I'd say the response will be about one third to do it and two thirds to not although I may have judged it wrong.

Original poster
YesAnastasia · 23/01/2014 09:21

And your opinion? :)

OP posts:
Seeline · 23/01/2014 09:23

I'd just say - what happens next year and the year after....?
Give him something fun to do over the weekend instead.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General education General parenting
frugalfuzzpig · 23/01/2014 09:24

Hmm. I get the bad week thing and I don't think it's that terrible to keep a child off if they're really overwhelmed or exhausted. But presumably the day won't be a restful one so it probably won't help and IME may make it worse if you're going somewhere new, exciting or busy.

Also TBH I'd quite like having some one to one time with my younger one on their birthday and then celebrating a bit more when school is finished, or at the weekend.

Original poster
YesAnastasia · 23/01/2014 09:24

It will be a Saturday next year, a Sunday the next...

OP posts:
Original poster
YesAnastasia · 23/01/2014 09:26

He'll also have a present (or a few if family get silly) because they both get something on the other's birthday. He'll have to leave it (a bike) an go to school. I feel mean.

OP posts:
Original poster
YesAnastasia · 23/01/2014 09:28

*and

OP posts:
MirandaWest · 23/01/2014 09:29

I'd send him to school.

Seeline · 23/01/2014 09:30

Presents after school if birthday is on a school day.

Sammie101 · 23/01/2014 09:31

You get your child a bike on his siblings birthday?? When I read present I assumed a token gift but a bike?

Anyway, I would just take him out for the day, I don't think in one day he's going to fall drastically behind

KuppiKahvia · 23/01/2014 09:31

You are getting him a bike for his brother's birthday!?

How old is his brother? Hold off the celebration day out and celebrate at the weekend. Don't do presents until after school. Problem solved.

You are conflating 2 things. If he is over stressed and needs an extra day off it needs to be calm, not busy and frantic. Also do you want to give him the impression that when he is at school you are out doing fun stuff?

3bunnies · 23/01/2014 09:31

Why not shift the presents and celebrations to Sat (if your dp works mon-fri it means he would be home too), have a fun day tomorrow with ds2 but not make a big thing of it being his birthday. I have kept a child off in reception due to tiredness so I don't think you are unreasonable to do it but I would make the decision separately from the fact it is ds2's birthday.

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood · 23/01/2014 09:33

he is getting a bike for his brothers birthday???????????

Original poster
YesAnastasia · 23/01/2014 09:34

It would usually be a token but we really wanted them both to have bikes so we can go out as a family. It's better this way than at a random time.

DH has the day off...

OP posts:
Sparklysilversequins · 23/01/2014 09:39

I would and I wouldn't think twice about it.

Original poster
YesAnastasia · 23/01/2014 09:40

Ah Sparkly - thanks :)

OP posts:
Sparklysilversequins · 23/01/2014 09:41

Good idea about the bikes too. This is what I am doing for dd's birthday. They both need one so they'll get one each and then dd will get a couple of other bits too to make the day more about her.

Eletheomel · 23/01/2014 11:00

I'd take him out, I don't see the big deal.

Mind you, I'm wondering (already) whether I'll take DS2 out of school for his birthday (he's only 7 months old so a while away!) as DS1's birthday falls during the holidays so we'll always take the day off for that, and it seems mean then not to have a family day for DS2s birthday which will always be in term time (I've refused to work on my birthday for decades - I always take a days annual leave :-)

Decisions, decisions.....

KuppiKahvia · 23/01/2014 15:32

Ele, my dd1 is heartbroken that her birthday this year falls on a weekend. They get to be centre of attention at school and love being there on their birthday, I wouldn't make any set in stone plans yet!!
I'm even more gobsmacked that there is more than of you planning to give your DC a bike for their siblings birthday!!

dozeydoris · 23/01/2014 15:35

At that age it is not a big deal imo.

When they are older imo they need to see that school is important and can't be skived off whenever, but when 4.5 it doesn't matter so keep him off.

Bowlersarm · 23/01/2014 15:38

No I wouldn't.

And giving him a bike because its his brothers birthday???

What are you doing to make birthday boy feel special? After all his brother is being made to feel special. A whole day off school. And a brand new bike.

What are you planning on giving him for his own birthday? A week off? And his own yacht or something?

LoofahVanDross · 23/01/2014 15:40

yes absolutely take him out and enjoy the day. I would, and have done exactly the same.

blackandwhiteandredallover · 23/01/2014 15:43

I wouldn't. Just have a family day out at the weekend? If DH has the day off won't it be nice for DS2 to have some quality time? I know my DD2 would love a daughter-daddy day without her big sister around.

QueenofKelsingra · 23/01/2014 15:52

i think I'm right in saying, you have the right not to send the child to school at all before they are 5. if however you choose to send them in the September when they are rising 5 you are committing to them attending. you cant just pull them out when you fancy before they turn 5.

i also disagree with the whole bike when not his birthday thing, sorry.

TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking · 23/01/2014 15:55

I feel a little sorry for the 'actual' birthday boy, Why is your other ds getting treat the same with the same presents and same day out as the ds who's birthday it is?