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Soft play area - Am I being a snob?

233 replies

CJones1982 · 08/01/2014 15:22

My DS has just turned 3 yrs old and we've just got back from our local soft play area. Whilst there, I witnessed some problems and behaviours from other mums and their children. Whenever we go there I make sure I'm feeling energetic so I can go round with him to help him and just incase he needs me, maybe I'm too protective! There was a group of 6 mums and they just let their kids get on with it. One gave her little girl a fruit shoot which she then brought into the ball pit, I don't agree with food in there anyway and there are signs saying no food and drink inside the play area. The girl then squirted the fruit shoot in my face. I was polite and just said 'we don't do that as it's not nice, drinks are for drinking. Her mum witnessed this then came over and simply took the drink off her and said your not allowed drinks in there, no telling off for the squirting! Don't give it to her then!! The girl was then throwing balls in other children's faces and then mine. I said to her ' these are to play in, you can throw against the soft wall or other balls but not at each other as that's not nice' - The children were all running riot and then I decided to take my son to a quieter area. All the kids then followed me trying to hold my hand and talking to me. I didn't mind at all but the parents just sat there gossiping or engrossed on their phones and had no clue where the children were. It's like I was the paid entertainer!! So am I being snobby? Does this happen at your local soft play? If my son showed any behaviour that was unkind or inconsiderate to others, I'd tell him! I mentioned to my friend on the phone when I got home and she said 'The mums were having a break, get over it' - So I had to ask you mumsnetters? If I'm wrong and you say so, I'll go with it!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
CJones1982 · 08/01/2014 17:58

I agree, I was the same with my first born!

OP posts:
SPsFifthConyoIsTheBestConyo · 08/01/2014 17:58

And can people stop with the 'have another, etc comments.

I only have the one and I'm not like that

whomovedmychocolate · 08/01/2014 17:58

thefabulousidiots 'little shits' eh - wow. Do your judgey pants give you a wedgey a lot would you say, or just now and then? Grin

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TheFabulousIdiot · 08/01/2014 18:04

Ome kids, because of their parenting, are little shits. I reserve my judge pants for the parents and feel sorry for their kids. Whacking other kids about is shitty behaviour, leaving your kids to whack other kids about and calling it stuff like teaching life lessons or teaching to be independent is even shittier.

Buzzardbird · 08/01/2014 18:11

Fabidiots I agree about the PFB thing. Chocolate I love your approach to the little shits Grin
OP, I would never "dump a handbag", they are precious, and certainly not on the floor!

scaevola · 08/01/2014 18:16

Maybe OP is Sheldon Cooper?

[bazinga]

roundtable · 08/01/2014 18:17

I'm with you op.

Bugs me big time when toddlers are left to it to play. Most children can not play with other children properly until 3/4/5. That's why the early years curriculum focuses on teaching and learning through play. Sometimes children can parallel play quite well but they are still learning.

I do have two children, a two year old and a one year old. I make sure they are not pushing/shoving and I even play with them. My two year old hates children coming over and picking up the toy he's trying to play with as he knows he's not allowed to take things other children are playing with not that it stops him sometimes and woe betide anyone who touches his stuff or pushes him out of the way, he's like Judge Dred and goes batshit crazy on the poor child who has 'wronged' him. Those children shouldn't toughen up as someone suggested earlier. I should be teaching him the way to behave and play as should the other parent.

It's very difficult when parents just sit there while their children snatch, push etc and if I had a pound for the amount of times I've heard boys will be boys whilst they are argy bargying with someone, I'd be drinking a very nice bottle of wine tonight!

Yes, I do have 2 boys and one of them is very fond of rough and tumble, other one is too young to tell but the way he rolls around on the floor with his dad and his brother already, I'm not holding my breath for a delicate child.

I do think once they are around 5 and 6 then fair enough, checking up on them once in a while might be adequate but not toddlers.

randomAXEofkindness · 08/01/2014 18:27

You might think that it's right to shadow your 3 year old, others disagree, including me. Get off your high horse op. The value of independent play is one of the few things that child rearing experts agree on.

While you are:
Playing and going through the colours and counting and juggling and talking to him and encouraging him and teaching him to queue up for slide and teaching him to wait his turn etc and sucking all the joy out of it

I'm sitting on my fat arse, providing a secure base for my kids, while they dawdle and leg it and imagine and create and initiate and motivate themselves and get frustrated - in peace.

You're off the mark thinking that you are fulfilling your dc's needs by orbiting them. It's a ridiculous notion. You sit still, they bounce back to you when they want you, the rest of the time they play the way human children throughout the world for thousands of years. Soft play is as safe a place as any to let kid's roam and explore, if you don't feel comfortable allowing your ds the benefit of this, you need to have a word with yourself, nobody else.

InPursuitOfOblivion · 08/01/2014 18:27

Was going to go to soft play for the first time today with my 18mo. From these posts I'm glad I didn't.
Judged if I get involved, judged if I don't!
Don't know what to do now.

GinSoakedMisery · 08/01/2014 18:30

InPursuit, an 18 month old would most definitely need supervised at a soft play, a three year old, not so much.

marmitecat · 08/01/2014 18:32

... in the ball pit doing colours, counting, juggling etc.

Pmsl. I am a self confessed pushy parent but even I'd balk at that.

LittleThorinOakenshield · 08/01/2014 18:33

Round the child was three.

You would totally need to supervise a two and one year old in fact you need eight pairs of hands and eyes in the back of your head.

Tigresswoods · 08/01/2014 18:33

The best thing about soft play is that my almost 4 year old will go off & play & I don't have to get involved.

LittleThorinOakenshield · 08/01/2014 18:37

People assume most kids start behaving like animals if they are unsupervised. The majority of kids at that age will be fine.

If you know your child is not going to be fine and might hit bite etc then yes more of an eye.

LittleThorinOakenshield · 08/01/2014 18:38

By unsupervised I mean watched from the periphery with a coffee before anyone jumps on my ass.

perplexedpirate · 08/01/2014 18:46

It's sounds completely normal for soft play and that's why I'd rather grate my eyeballs off than go ever again.

CakePunch · 08/01/2014 18:58

I go on week days first thing in the morning so its usually only under 4's and you tend to get more supervision. Plus there are so few people us 'helicopter' mums can all fit in the ball pool.

LittleThorinOakenshield · 08/01/2014 19:03

Grin At all the mums in the ball pool.

CJones1982 · 08/01/2014 19:06

This has gone right off the point of the thread! If kids are behaving badly, their parents should be close enough to witness it, not gossiping! Who cares if I'm teaching him other things whilst in there, that's my business! There's two completely different views at either end of the spectrum on here, let's face it, this isn't going to change going to soft play! As for the poster suggesting I was Sheldon,. Do you teach your children to mock people for being different, have different views, possibly a disability or syndrome, bullying at its finest!

OP posts:
CJones1982 · 08/01/2014 19:08

CakePunch - See you in the ball pool tomorrow

OP posts:
LittleThorinOakenshield · 08/01/2014 19:08

OP there simply isn't the facility in any soft play I have been to for every single parent to stay that close to a child,

Everyone likes to do things differently, but you seem to be quite insistent you are the better parent for tailing, and that isn't the case.

LittleThorinOakenshield · 08/01/2014 19:09

I have to tail older DS by the way, and I do an undercover approach in the near distance, I play with him loads at home and go to classes, I want him to have a bit if freedom and enjoy.

If he is naughty SWOOP

lilyaldrin · 08/01/2014 19:12

It's such a selfish attitude really - "I want to stay by MY child - I don't care that I'm ruining it for YOUR children Oh and they better not try to play with me either".

Guitargirl · 08/01/2014 19:15

OP - has it not crossed your mind that if all the other parents at softplay decided to do what you were doing then there would be no room to move in there? Like another poster, my DD was also hurt once when a Dad kicked her in the face at softplay when he was climbing down a rope ladder. He didn't even realise he had done it. Fair enough to be close enough to keep an eye on your DS but leave him play in peace!

BananaPie · 08/01/2014 19:19

Soft play is the tenth circle of hell. I try to avoid going if I can. Full of shrieking unsupervised kids and my three year old won't play with anything unless I trail round with her.

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