Soft play area - Am I being a snob?

[CJones1982]

My DS has just turned 3 yrs old and we've just got back from our local soft play area. Whilst there, I witnessed some problems and behaviours from other mums and their children. Whenever we go there I make sure I'm feeling energetic so I can go round with him to help him and just incase he needs me, maybe I'm too protective! There was a group of 6 mums and they just let their kids get on with it. One gave her little girl a fruit shoot which she then brought into the ball pit, I don't agree with food in there anyway and there are signs saying no food and drink inside the play area. The girl then squirted the fruit shoot in my face. I was polite and just said 'we don't do that as it's not nice, drinks are for drinking. Her mum witnessed this then came over and simply took the drink off her and said your not allowed drinks in there, no telling off for the squirting! Don't give it to her then!! The girl was then throwing balls in other children's faces and then mine. I said to her ' these are to play in, you can throw against the soft wall or other balls but not at each other as that's not nice' - The children were all running riot and then I decided to take my son to a quieter area. All the kids then followed me trying to hold my hand and talking to me. I didn't mind at all but the parents just sat there gossiping or engrossed on their phones and had no clue where the children were. It's like I was the paid entertainer!! So am I being snobby? Does this happen at your local soft play? If my son showed any behaviour that was unkind or inconsiderate to others, I'd tell him! I mentioned to my friend on the phone when I got home and she said 'The mums were having a break, get over it' - So I had to ask you mumsnetters? If I'm wrong and you say so, I'll go with it!

I went to soft play recently with my 3 year old and there seemed to be a toddler (1st or 2nd birthday) party going on - pretty much ALL the parents wanted to tail their kid around, and lots of them insisted on going in the main area rather than staying in the baby bit. As a result we left early due to the older kids being unable to actually play as their were loads of massive dads getting in the way and treading on fingers

:-D. You've made me smile.
It is soft play, the kids go wild and these places sell fruit shoot to encourage mayhem.

If you want to supervise the play etc go to the park not the feral hell that is soft play.

Actually the naice one by us that sells organic juice very naice coffee and cake has the worst behaviour. I avoid unless forced to go these days. Ds3 doesnt seem to have either noticed or suffered.
As for ball pools .. more like petrie dishes for every virus going. You ever seen a toddler use a tissue for sneezing?

Imagine two or three of the other mums decided to have a juggle too, where would you all go?

It would be ludicrous

Im afraid I don't 'chuck my child in' he goes in willingly (2.5yr old DT's) they have each other to play with, i enjoy my coffee and a chat with my friend because, honestly, another day of entertaining them at home i would have gone insane!

I can see them at all times (large but shallow soft play frame) they come back for a cuddle every so often.

This morning they spent an hour chasing my friends older DS and they had a fantastic time. As did I!

Then i came home and we read books, talked about colours etc...!

Well it certainly looks like I'm the helicopter mum with no friends that gets followed about by other children and then has a little show going in the ball pit! Steer clear of MY ball pit!! There's no need to get so angry about my post. Clearly all kids have different capabilities and all mums are different!

Do be fair you didn't really help when you said we were the type not to make an effort,

I accept that one, got my back up a bit - Sorry!

Agree with others it was totally normal.

If one adult gets in and starts 'playing' then all the children will want to join in, particularly when its a novelty, like in this case. The little girl throwing stuff at you was a classic 'me too' behaviour IMO.

I'm a playworker so don't actually mind doing this at times, but its also nice to have a break, a coffee and a catch up, without having to entertain kids at the same time. My kids are old enough to just go off on their own now anyway, they can play with each other or I they a friend along each.

Sometimes they even end up playing with other kids and developing their social skills. As well as learning independence, determination and motor skills. They also have fun!

OP you were just too much fun, and you have a mini fan club.

Maybe you should charge for your services I'd pay

OP I know it has been said already, soft play is not for adults it's not safe to have an adult in that environment.

I hope you haven't accident already. In the future I wouldn't go into the ball Pitt.

I was at a soft play before and one of the dads knocked out a child's tooth because they could see them.

My DDs are 5 and 3 and are only just letting me leave them to play in the soft play. If they'd let me before that (and not just squabbled round my ankles) I would've been coffee drinking/chatting/phone staring with the best of them.

There is no denying that some kids need a telling off that they don't get in the soft play. But they are meant for encouraging independence, surely?

This drives me mad at soft play every time we go there is always an awfully behaved 4 year old beating up the smaller kids, throwing balls etc. which means I have no choice but to stay by my toddler to stop him being squished while the Mum will be sitting with a big gang of other Mums enjoying a relaxed coffee and cake and even when her child does something really awful you just hear a quiet call from her saying little Jonny don't do that. No actual getting off their lazy arses to discipline their child which means she gets to relax while the rest of us have to protect our children from theirs. Drives me bonkers. If I see a child being purposely mean to mine I tell them off and if they keep repeating it (once a child insisted on keep trying to jump on top of my toddler from a great height) then I go work out the Mum and tell them to try and shame them into actually doing a bit of responsible parenting.

But Florin, either speak to the staff or speak to the parent, take the child over to her if necessary.
Nobody is saying that is ok. It clearly isnt.

At our softplay ther was a child a few weeks ago dragging various other children by the hair (not mine, mine dont have enough hair!) i did however tell the parent on another mothers behalf because she was too busy comforting her distraught DD

I think soft play is a good chance for them to learn about playing away from parents and interacting/making friends with other, 'new' children who aren't in their nursery/school, or are a different age. There aren't really many other ways to do that with under 7s without worrying that they will wander off or get hurt since it is in a confined space and accident proofed. You can always dash if really necessary.

The last time I was at soft play I saw a boy about 4 get boinked in the face by a ball and start crying, I had a glance around and his mum wasn't about, but to my surprise some older boys came to cheer him up and invited him to play with them. I thought that was nice, and it was the kind of social interaction he wouldn't have been able to have if his mum was hovering.

Though I can see how some just-turned-3 year old children might not be comfortable with being chucked in with the rabble, especially when there are older children about if they aren't used to that kind of situation, so I would probably put it off until they were a bit older and more confident if I had a 3yo like that.

Florin no one is saying that childen should be left to injure one another but as a general rule three year olds don't need to be shadowed.

But not all people want to approach the mum and say your child is hurting others as it's awkward, I think it's the job of whoever took the child there to monitor their behaviour.

I'm with OP. I like to go in with my dd and play with her. Of I do want a break I sit and watch her all the time and would without a doubt discipline her if she didnt share, squirted drink, was rough with other children. I do find there are some mums who key tier kids get on with it and don't discipline them when they misbehave and I think that's pretty lax tbh. Don't think OP is a snob x

Ugh, I hate when parents hover around their PFBs in soft play tut-tutting at everyone else. Especially when they complain about children throwing balls in the ball pit! What do you think balls are for?! Apart from anything else, you've no idea what kind of day/week/year those other parents have had, 5 minutes peace (while their kids have a great time) may be saving their sanity. Play with your kid by all means, I don't have a problem with that if it makes you/them happy, but don't look down your nose at everyone else, one day your 3 year old might not want you following him around anymore and then you might find yourself enjoying a coffee & an adult conversation while he gets on with it. It's quite nice!

Throwing balls in the ball pit, YES! In people's faces, a definite no. Granted they don't hurt but why would you allow that? It's unkind and doesn't teach children to be considerate

I don't like when parents leave their kids in soft play that kick or hit!! So annoying!

My dd drags me in. If I stand at the side and watch,.she stands at the side and watches. If I sit, she sits. Odd, as she goes to a CMs and is happy to play with lots of different people - but at soft play she wants me there.

I agree it is their responsibility OP you are right, but you could speak to the staff, that would also teach your DC to stand up for themselves

Nobody is saying they should be abandoned and not disciplined, but helicoptering isnt the answer either.