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Soft play area - Am I being a snob?

233 replies

CJones1982 · 08/01/2014 15:22

My DS has just turned 3 yrs old and we've just got back from our local soft play area. Whilst there, I witnessed some problems and behaviours from other mums and their children. Whenever we go there I make sure I'm feeling energetic so I can go round with him to help him and just incase he needs me, maybe I'm too protective! There was a group of 6 mums and they just let their kids get on with it. One gave her little girl a fruit shoot which she then brought into the ball pit, I don't agree with food in there anyway and there are signs saying no food and drink inside the play area. The girl then squirted the fruit shoot in my face. I was polite and just said 'we don't do that as it's not nice, drinks are for drinking. Her mum witnessed this then came over and simply took the drink off her and said your not allowed drinks in there, no telling off for the squirting! Don't give it to her then!! The girl was then throwing balls in other children's faces and then mine. I said to her ' these are to play in, you can throw against the soft wall or other balls but not at each other as that's not nice' - The children were all running riot and then I decided to take my son to a quieter area. All the kids then followed me trying to hold my hand and talking to me. I didn't mind at all but the parents just sat there gossiping or engrossed on their phones and had no clue where the children were. It's like I was the paid entertainer!! So am I being snobby? Does this happen at your local soft play? If my son showed any behaviour that was unkind or inconsiderate to others, I'd tell him! I mentioned to my friend on the phone when I got home and she said 'The mums were having a break, get over it' - So I had to ask you mumsnetters? If I'm wrong and you say so, I'll go with it!

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SavoyCabbage · 08/01/2014 15:52

I used to follow dd1 about but not dd2. I was much less precious about her and much more aware of her capabilities. Also, by the time I had dd2, I had lots of friends with dc so soft play was somewhere to go where the children could play and we could talk.

lilyaldrin · 08/01/2014 15:52

Exactly Thurlow - or kids have to wait patiently while some mummy blocks their way to ensure their little angel isn't jostled by all those orrible rude oiks Grin

HenriettaPie · 08/01/2014 15:53

OP I am so with you! My son is 3 and daughter is 1 and they like me to go in with them. Our local one has a till and play market stall and play cafe that DS likes me to play with him. As soon as we do, all the other children are straight over and I end up like bloomin Mary Poppins, surrounded by everyone else's children. I really don't like to pay £9 to look after everyone else's kids for an hour!

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SavoyCabbage · 08/01/2014 15:53

I used to follow dd1 about but not dd2. I was much less precious about her and much more aware of her capabilities. Also, by the time I had dd2, I had lots of friends with dc so soft play was somewhere to go where the children could play and we could talk.

HenriettaPie · 08/01/2014 15:54

OP I am so with you! My son is 3 and daughter is 1 and they like me to go in with them. Our local one has a till and play market stall and play cafe that DS likes me to play with him. As soon as we do, all the other children are straight over and I end up like bloomin Mary Poppins, surrounded by everyone else's children. I really don't like to pay £9 to look after everyone else's kids for an hour!

lilyaldrin · 08/01/2014 15:57

How do you think soft play would work if all 6 of those mums wanted to play in the ball pit too?

CJones1982 · 08/01/2014 16:00

Maybe I should have made myself clearer! I'm not actually in there playing for fun, I'm playing for my son. He does go off and do certain things by himself and I talk to him and encourage him, teaching him to queue up for slide and to wait his turn etc. I think it's so wrong to chuck him in there and see him in hour just to have a break!

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 08/01/2014 16:01

The clue is in the name SOFT play. There's very little they can do to hurt themselves. That's why it's idea to actually let your kids go in and practice their climbing without anxious parents holding onto them for dear life

:o

lilyaldrin · 08/01/2014 16:02

OK, but if all 6 of those mums wanted to get in the ball pit too, there wouldn't be any room for the children!

Maybe soft play just isn't for you if your 3 year old can't play independently? Try a structured class you can participate in too.

CJones1982 · 08/01/2014 16:07

All the mums saying just let them get on with it are obviously like the ones sat down letting their children do as they wish regardless of others. Maybe you should wonder what they are getting up to and make the effort.

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Thurlow · 08/01/2014 16:07

To be fair, there are certain things you generally do get involved with and especially with little ones, they need help climbing, learning how to sit at the stop of the slide safely rather than hurling themselves down face first etc. 2-3 is probably an awkward age at soft play, though at the moment I deliberately go to the one where it is safer for a little one rather than the big out of town one where she might frankly get killed by a kamikaze 5 year old.

But the side effect of getting involved is generally that you end up getting treated as another part of the climbing frame by all other childre,

Tinkertaylor1 · 08/01/2014 16:08

Arf at teaching him to que up in soft play! Grin

In your face mothering at its best!

Maybe you should buy your own soft play area were boisterous normal kids can't spoil it for you dc

Gileswithachainsaw · 08/01/2014 16:10

Funnily my children behave at soft play. I don't need to be shadowing them the entire time.

They know the rules and if they are naughty we go home. Haven't had to yet.

CJones1982 · 08/01/2014 16:12

Why would you not teach them to queue up and wait their turn? Let's have six kids all fighting to get down the slide all on top of each other just because it's called soft play! It's being considerate to others surely.

OP posts:
lilyaldrin · 08/01/2014 16:13

Most 3 year olds are capable of waiting their turn on the slide Grin

Getting in the kids' way when you're about 2ft and 30 years to big for softplay is not considerate.

Thurlow · 08/01/2014 16:14

Ah, yes, we all completely ignore our kids at soft play Grin

One of the things about being a small child is learning to interact with other small children, learning to stand up for themselves, learning to play nicely. I agree that all parents should try and keep a rough eye so that there's no fighting and biting going on, but soft play is generally a pretty safe place for children to start learning to be together. Which is a lot harder for them to do with mum following behind even in the safe areas.

Upcycled · 08/01/2014 16:14

I think you would love Gymboree OP.
I hated it because I had to get involved. And also pay for the privilege.
I am one of those mums YES!
I tell them to disappear, grab my coffee, rad a newspaper or magazine or gossip with a friend.

Maybe it helps that my dd is very in depended, brave and active on her own. She is amazing at socialising not like me and always makes lots of friends at soft play.

I think at the age of 3 she would be mortified if I followed her around and would tell me to go find something else to do.

gamerchick · 08/01/2014 16:15

You're actually not supposed to go into the soft play.

You need to do a little less helicopter mama and relax.. he's 3 not a tiny.

Gileswithachainsaw · 08/01/2014 16:15

Where did you go? I have never seen this six kid pile up you are talking about and we go regularly.

D0G · 08/01/2014 16:16

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D0G · 08/01/2014 16:17

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LurcioLovesFrankie · 08/01/2014 16:17

See, this is what I love about the soft play at Paignton Zoo - there are big signs up saying no-one (which includes parents) over a certain height (4'6" I think) is allowed up the ladders etc inside the soft play - so I am officially allowed to sit on the mats at the side with a good book/newspaper... Grin

LurcioLovesFrankie · 08/01/2014 16:18

Not that I want to helicopter - just when DS was little he used to ask me to come in with him...

LittleThorinOakenshield · 08/01/2014 16:18

OP if your going to juggle balls in the ball pit then you really are setting yourself up to be tailed worse than the pied piper of Hamlin.

Three year olds are usually fine to play independently..

It's great to play with them but you don't know what the other mums did with their kids that day. They might have spent all morning having one on one time and this is their chance for the children to play more independently and them have a break.

ShatnersBassoon · 08/01/2014 16:20

Honing your circus skills in the ball pool is a really bad idea if you don't want strange children following you. You might as well have gone there in a Peppa Pig costume.

It would have been a different story if you'd gone with friends too. You would have taken your eyes off your child from time to time too. You weren't wrong, but neither were those other parents.