Soft play area - Am I being a snob?

[CJones1982]

My DS has just turned 3 yrs old and we've just got back from our local soft play area. Whilst there, I witnessed some problems and behaviours from other mums and their children. Whenever we go there I make sure I'm feeling energetic so I can go round with him to help him and just incase he needs me, maybe I'm too protective! There was a group of 6 mums and they just let their kids get on with it. One gave her little girl a fruit shoot which she then brought into the ball pit, I don't agree with food in there anyway and there are signs saying no food and drink inside the play area. The girl then squirted the fruit shoot in my face. I was polite and just said 'we don't do that as it's not nice, drinks are for drinking. Her mum witnessed this then came over and simply took the drink off her and said your not allowed drinks in there, no telling off for the squirting! Don't give it to her then!! The girl was then throwing balls in other children's faces and then mine. I said to her ' these are to play in, you can throw against the soft wall or other balls but not at each other as that's not nice' - The children were all running riot and then I decided to take my son to a quieter area. All the kids then followed me trying to hold my hand and talking to me. I didn't mind at all but the parents just sat there gossiping or engrossed on their phones and had no clue where the children were. It's like I was the paid entertainer!! So am I being snobby? Does this happen at your local soft play? If my son showed any behaviour that was unkind or inconsiderate to others, I'd tell him! I mentioned to my friend on the phone when I got home and she said 'The mums were having a break, get over it' - So I had to ask you mumsnetters? If I'm wrong and you say so, I'll go with it!

Throwing balls generally - fine

Deliberately throwing them in faces - not fine

My friends DS was having a lark throwing them around in a totally fine way and a mum tutted and said let's move away from the naughty boy to her DD.

This thread is reminding me why I haven't been for yonks!

I agree with you but these children were younger than DS

All Soft play places are horrible germ pits. The ball pools are 45% snot and vomit.*

Stick them in a puddle suit, make a sandwich and get them to the nearest outdoors.

*statistics shmastistics

Tbh I think it's good for kids to go off by themselves as soon as they are able and play together away from adults for a while. They need to learn to play with each other without adults.

I've been in your position op but I'm mean, I just ignore kids that are not mine and generally they soon go away. Sometimes if other kids come over, I introduce them to my kids and then get myself a coffee! This often works and the kids play by themselves for a while at least.

OP may I recommend the following strategy to deal with this, got a pen?

Ready?

Have a second child

Seriously, you'll realise how much more robust they are when you have less time to faff around.

Now I was just like you with my first, ooh nasty older children barrelling around, poor darling child got knocked over at least twice the first time and you know what, once she even cried because someone jumped the queue on the slide, but now I understand the theory of soft play and it is this:

You put your child in the right zone for their age and you watch from a distance. It teaches them survival skills, competition, dexterity and sadly also how to spread bogies far and wide

Now squirting froot shoot into faces is vile I agree. What I would have done is got very close to that child and said quietly 'if you do it again, I'll set fire to your hair' but then I'm not a very nice person

There is a reason they have names like 'crazy jungle' etc. you know.

Hmm I don't think you are being snobby.

I can understand parents go their to have a break and let the kids burn off some energy, fine. But I think they should keep more of an eye out and pay attention to the children as I often see hitting, biting etc going unnoticed and that's not on. Have a chat but surely check on your kids every few minutes.

I don't think it's weird you get in the softplay with your DC. Me and my friend always get in the softplay with our children 1) because they both are quite shy and need a bit of a nudge 2) because we love playing in their too!

There's nothing you can do about the experience at softplay though, it just is what it is - now DS is older we can spend less time at softplay and more time burning off energy outdoors.

Slightly hilarious that people are calling unsupervised kids at soft play "feral"

I must say I never witness a parent crawling round in the soft play discussing the colours of the balls. But I do agree the noise and general rowdiness of soft play is hell on earth

I spent a night in hospital with my 3yr old dd a few days before Christmas, because she was pushed off a ride on car by another little shit kid, who was unsupervised and before I could catch her. She had concussion and was throwing up all night. There are some kids that need to be supervised, soft play or not!

I sympathise op, soft play isn't to 'give parents a break' there are usually signs saying all children must be supervised. The idea that all parental responsibility goes out the window so people can drink tea and gossips Bollox.

I would rather be the parent in the ball pit than the one deliberately ignoring their child.

Very rarely does my son go to the soft places and when he does go he is left to run around on his own.

I'm a dump and watch a little parent. The whole point of soft play is so you can dump your children for a bit.

No parent goes because they want to play in a ball pit.

I have two children! DS 6 was at school!

Dump your kids! They are not handbags on the floor. I'm clearly a minority with a few posters getting what I'm trying to say. I just believe in what's right!

Brilliant. OP has two children. Why people always assume you only care so much must mean you only have one child baffles me.

I always get weird looks when I play with DS in softplay!

Oh you're one of those parents, the ones who loudly parent and look down your nose at those whose parenting skills are not on par with yours.

Yes you're being a snob, especially with your comment "All the mums saying just let them get on with it are obviously like the ones sat down letting their children do as they wish regardless of others. Maybe you should wonder what they are getting up to and make the effort."

Now I don't agree with the drink being taken into the soft play or with the ball throwing, I don't allow my children to do that, but once your child is capable of going around a soft play themself and are not a hitter/biter there is no reason why you need to follow them around. Let them be free to roam and intervene when necessary. Loosen and grab yourself a fancy hot chocolate and a cake.

Perhaps the point is that it's not bad parenting to teach your kids to do 'independent exploring'. Look I just made up a phrase to make y'all feel better about it.

Who are you helping by getting into the ball pit really? Your kid, who learns 'other kids are scary and you need protecting from them', that'll play well in reception.

If you hate soft play don't go. I hate it but I go because it tires my kids out and allows them to learn to play nicely with other kids (and they do btw, I don't have the fighty kids and yes if I see anyone else's kids railing on someone I will intervene - I'm not saying there aren't little buggers in there sometimes), but what's important is that you find balance in this.

I think it's fine to go in with them but surely the (well, a) raison d'etre of soft play is that it's a safe (ish) place for young kids to practice a bit of independent adventuring and test themselves physically.

Omg, that have a second child stuff is Bollox too. There is this constant belief that all singletons or first horns are PFBs who need toughening up by being smacked about by little shits at soft play.

Also, some of us can't have another so it's just rude.

GinSoakedMisery

I don't think OP is referring to parents who have taken the time and taught their children how to play nicely in softplay and the rules etc. I think she means the parents with hitters and biters who haven't taught right from wrong and remain oblivious or chose to ignore their child's bad behaviour then it is effecting the other children's play time. Correct me if I'm wrong but I believe this is what OP meant, I don't think that's snobby I think that's right?

You have an issue with the words "dump your kids"?

Who said they were handbags?

Plus, as we all know, all children develop differently. It's not a competition to see who's child can be left today independently first. My son's fine motor skills are brilliant but when it comes to climbing and jumping he's not as 'advanced' as some others his age.

This idea that by letting your children throw things at other kids you are letting them develop some kind of life skill is also Bollox. Jesus.