Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Retorts for anti-breastfeeding people

59 replies

beccala · 15/12/2013 20:51

Hi all

I've got a 3 month old who I am exclusively breastfeeding. I am quite nervous about feeding her in public, have done it a couple of times but only when DP is with me. I know legally I can do it anywhere etc. And I think rationally that it's probably fairly unlikely that anyone would really say anything to me if I did anyway. But I would feel better if I could think of a short sharp response on the off chance anyone did actually tell me they didn't approve.

So, any suggestions? Anyone got a good response they've used?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

clairikins · 15/12/2013 20:57

It happened once to me. Sat in a hospital waiting room an older woman was there with her daughter and grandson (aged about 5 ish). Started feeding my DD as she said "well that's going to confuse Thomas!". I just glared back at her and said "So". She didn't said anything more as I think she knew I was game for an argument.

Whenever anyone asks me if I'm STILL breastfeeding I say "I know, I'm so proud that I've lasted this long. It's such an achievement".

DaleyBump · 15/12/2013 21:05

I had someone tell me to move to a different room to bf "for the comfort of everyone else". I asked her if she would tell me to move if I was feeding him formula and that shut her up.

DuckForCover · 15/12/2013 21:08

I figure that something like "well, YOU shouldn't be looking there in the first place, should you?" would lead to the swift retreat you're looking for ..

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

HECTheHeraldAngelsSing · 15/12/2013 21:10

I find that "i dont care what you think" covers all situations.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 15/12/2013 21:10

I find Fuck off and mind your own business easy to remember and effective.

IME no-one will make any comments except charming and positive ones. And they may even bring you a cushion and a drink.

gamerchick · 15/12/2013 21:10

The only time I got it was in a hospital waiting room as well. The death glare was all I could manage.

Offer them a blanket to cover their heads.

Womnaleplus · 15/12/2013 21:12

I'm always ready to quote equalities legislation, and am almost disappointed that no one's made a negative comment yet (I'm 3 years in!) :o.

SteamWisher · 15/12/2013 21:13

To be honest unless you're looking for trouble, you're unlikely to get hassle.

If you do, then smile sweetly and carry on.

PacificDingbat · 15/12/2013 21:16

I've never had a negative comment so don't worry too much (fed 4 DCs for varying lengths of time).

I find smiling sweetly quite effective to make huffing people deflate. "Yes, isn't it wonderful?" said with beatific smile works quite well. One of my friend is the master of using that phrase. In her experience it is often middle-age women who judge (what? what do the judge?? .

PenguinsDontEatStollen · 15/12/2013 21:16

I've never had any comments, and I've fed everywhere and anywhere with two kids.

The odd look, but just give a death glare back.

If you want something up your sleeve, I'd have thought "Are you normally so ignorant" covers most possibilities.

callamia · 15/12/2013 21:24

I've had no bother so far, and this has included the back of a bus, on a train and various cafes, museum etc. It's possible to be discreet and most likely, no-one will even notice. Anyone who has anything to say should receive a sharp 'fuck off' and asking whether they'd prefer it if your young baby went hungry or yelled the place down instead.
You're feeding a very small child who can't understand the concept of waiting, so you have every right to feel confident in what you're doing.

DramaAlpaca · 15/12/2013 21:26

My DC are late teens/early twenties now, so it's a long time since I was breastfeeding, but I can honestly say I never had any negative comments when I was feeding in public. If anyone said anything at all it would be something nice & supportive.

It's unlikely that you'd be asked to move, but if you were you could just tell them that you are quite comfortable where you are, thanks.

Eletheomel · 15/12/2013 21:29

I'm bfeeding number two and have had about 5 or 6 public comments whilst bfeeding and ALL of them have been positive (some people have overtly praised me for feeding my son myself - which was a bit embarassing at the time)

I've never had anyone say anything negative to me at all. Try not to dwell on the negative things that might happen, chances are if anyone does make a rude remark you'll find a retort quite easy to come by :-)

lolalotta · 15/12/2013 21:33

A lady came up to me the other day and said "well done!"

curlyclaz13 · 15/12/2013 21:36

Never had a comment and six months in, had to feed in the middle of the shopping centre in Milton Keynes on Friday and did get a few double takes but lots of smiles.I also had the whole bench to myself as a couple of people clearly weren't comfortable enough to sit
near a woman feeding her baby . Try not to worry about what other people think and enjoy feeding your lo.

TheBookofRuth · 15/12/2013 21:41

I don't say anything, I just squirt them with breast milk till they back off.

In all seriousness, I'm still feeding DD who's nearly two, and I've yet to have a negative reaction from a random. Plenty from family and friends who think it's weird that I'm still feeding, but I just ignore them. DD and I are happy, so who gives a toss what they think?

curlew · 15/12/2013 22:51

I was desperate for negative comments so I could give the complainer both barrels but I never got a single one in years of feeding everywhere and anywhere!

Lots of approving smiles and help and friendly chats. I was furious!

thenightsky · 15/12/2013 22:53

I never had a single negative comment and I'm talking years ago. DD was born in 1986 and DS in 1991.

I fed them all over the place, which was quite unusual in the 80s. Even the Hard Rock Cafe with staff dancing on the tables.

NaturalBaby · 15/12/2013 22:54

I ebf 3 babies for 8 months, then continued bf for a few more months and never had any negative comments. I did plan my days out very carefully though so was never really anywhere where I was likely to get a negative comment.

GossipWitch · 15/12/2013 22:57

Ask someone who knits or crochets to do you a Boob hat, just to add comical value for the tutters.

NoComet · 15/12/2013 22:57

No one ever said anything and I fed DD in public until she was 18 months plus (and in private until she could have told them to fuck of herself, and know what fuck off meant).

I would have feed her in public quite happily for longer, but it's actually very awkward feeding a tallish toddler who kicks their legs straight except on a sofa or a bed.

NoComet · 15/12/2013 22:59

After about 2-2.5 she would have been embarrassed, even that small she cared what people thought of her and noticed there weren't other children her age feeding.

Although she knew her DF still did at night.

neunundneunzigluftballons · 15/12/2013 23:04

I had funny looks from a woman on a plane..... Meanwhile her bottle fed grandchild screamed the plane down while all the time she gave her daughter irritating advice 'give her the bottle' 'try the soother'. I smiled back sweetly knowing the whole rest of the plane were much happier with the silent bf baby.

gwenniebee · 15/12/2013 23:10

I never had an "off" comment - I think they're much rarer than people think. Wish I was still bfing mine as often as I was when she was tiny - I miss it!

Melonbreath · 16/12/2013 09:18

Never had any negative comments. I've had old ladies come up and have a good old look and stroke dd and say things like 'nothing like the peace on a feeding baby's face' which was weird, but nice!
I even fed in UAE and was really worried about feeding out it being a muslim country but was ushered to comfy areas of cafes and people didn't give a fig other than that my hungry baby got fed. Even dd refusing any sort of cover got no rise at all and again I got grannies coming up for looks and I got head patted in that country.
Nobody else I know got patted! Maybe I'm just pattable.

Flip

1 2 3