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Gardening in the winter sun. 40-something mums Christmas thread

708 replies

somewherebecomingrain · 08/12/2013 21:00

40-something mums with babies of all ages - please join us. The 20-something and 30-something mums will never satisfy you like this thread.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
scarecrow22 · 02/01/2014 21:35

to smike - (verb) - to smile with liking something.so much, suggesting contentment and admiration. From the OE simikaru

Wink
rosiedays · 02/01/2014 23:41

Scarecrow... are you using your super word power knowledge to cover up types ??? :)
Bbd. A looks the picture of health, she is growing and glowing and beautiful. You are doing amazingly well to still be bf her. I hope i have your conviction. Bf babies do grow differently to ff babies, and girls different to boys. Hope the dr put your mind at rest.

blueblackdye · 03/01/2014 11:24

Thanks Rosie, I was not worried but my Mum found A a bit skinny ! And it is true she eats less than her brother and mainly veggies and fruits. So I checked with Dr and all is well !
Dropped her at nursery this morning, felt a pinch in my heart, but DS needs 1-2-1 time as well. The good thing is there are 2 carers today for 2 kids including A, so she will be well looked after and it is a gentle start in her new room. Taking DS now to the london transport museum

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blueblackdye · 03/01/2014 20:45

Rosie, wanted to say I did not mean to bf for so long but A does not take any milk from a bottle, a beaker or sippy cup... Water is ok from a beaker. I have lots of different bottles, teats, brown and clear, same for cups, sippy cups... I have given up, I love feeding her although sometimes I wish she could take the odd bottle so that I can have one free night per month ! So I will wait until she weans herself from them. Atm she takes my hand, leads me to the sofa and pulls my top !
Reading backwards every one's posts.
Scarecrow, I love the moving furniture, decluttering, reinventing space, new house without moving. Hope you love your new place. 7 weeks before going back, OMG, we need to make the most of it and see you soon and often.
Somewhere, when will you move ? Or are you in the middle of it ? Good luck. Why is DP so keen to move ?

blueblackdye · 03/01/2014 23:07

VAlium Queen, hope all is well on your side. How is J doing ? Wishing you a great new year.
LRM, Goat, Midget, hope you are all well too. And Knicky.

rosiedays · 04/01/2014 20:59

Egypt flights booked Shock
Can't quite believe it aand don't quite
Know how I'm going to survive 3weeks. What the f**k am i letting myself in for. Omg. And breath! !!

blueblackdye · 04/01/2014 22:28

When are you going to Egypt Rosie ? Hope the SILs have dropped their offer of BF Rosebud for you :)
Have been tidying up all evening. There are still 2 full shelves and a full height one to deal with. But quite happy with myself, have cleared some space to put toys away, I hope to be able to make A believe there are new toys by swapping them from time to time !
Good night

rosiedays · 04/01/2014 23:54

Next Saturday! !! I am in a bit of a state about it to be honest. It was a rash, cheap January flights moment and i got swept up in it. Now the panic has set in.
We will be doing some heavy duty travel! B - london, (hire car) London- hurghada, (flight! ) hurghada-Cairo (bus) Cairo to port said (??) It's 20 hours of actual travel time not including waiting around time to a country where nothing bloody works, everything is backsheesh, it's dirty, smelly and on the verge of civil war, (dh told me today that 10 bombings reported last week. My baby will be manhandled and passed around, subjected to squealing (the women do this awful loud tongue warbling lalalalala.....)god only knows what will be put in her mouth. We will be left for hours and hours with the woman while dh goes to places with his friends that we can go. Sleeping arrangements are not confined...... omg < head in hands> on the other hand, my lovely mil will finally get to cuddle her first grandchild, my sil can learn how to change a nappy and give a sippy cup. I will not have to cook for 3weeks, dh qwill see home, and rosebud will be loved to pieces by all.
Once the panic subsidis i will start to get excited!

notsoold · 05/01/2014 00:00

Happy new year to all! I have been reading but not posting from ds's tablet. Now my phone is back and I wonder if anyone could help me please?
Our 11 week old has been swaddled at night from birth. Firm , not tight around chest and so pelvis and legs are kept loose. The reason was that he trashes is arms and awakes himself up otherwise. So far so good, but now he is bigger and we have few problems.
He is too big for swaddling cloths and because of the cold temperature we were swaddling in a fleece like material.
He only sleeps if swaddled fully. Half swaddling doesn't do the trick. Then around 5am he frees his arms but brings the swaddling cloth to his face.. That is not good with the fleece so what should I do?
We bought a gro bag but after 2 nights of not sleeping and crying I think that no point trying more. Tonight ( would be 3rd night) he trashed his arms and cried for 45 minutes. I finally gave up and swaddled in the fleece blanket and he slept in few minutes.

Please what should I do? And for how long? If he is freeing himself in the morning is it a sign he shouldnt be swaddled?
And material to be used?

Thank you for your help!

Ps it is only any night time. During the day he sleeps in his travel cot happily without swaddling...

rosiedays · 05/01/2014 00:44

Hi notso :) uurr 3night no sleep is not good. Bless ya. My first thought was a brushed cotton type flat cot sheet or a .... can't remember what there called, the baby blankets with the little holes in or one of the really big muslins. Dd hated being swaddled so I'm not much help really. Is he in moses basket? I've read of mums padding out the basket with a towel to make it cosyer for baby (some like to keep that'in womb' sleeping environment longer than others :). Could you try tucking him in tightly?
I think he's getting his arms out in the morning is because he's woken up and wants a wriggle, don't think it's a sign he shouldn't be swaddled, he obviously likes it to go to sleep! (Happy to be corrected by those wiser)
Eagle and i were saying just the other daytthat you should do whatever you need to to get through the day/night sometimes. I remember 11/ 12 weeks being tough for sleep deprivation. (Now i just have insomnia! !!)

rosiedays · 05/01/2014 00:47

Oh dd hated the grow bag too but has got used to it now (since about 4.5 months)
How's feeding going?

Hope you get a bit of sleep tonight. Xxx

rosiedays · 05/01/2014 00:57

Cellular blankets :)
Just remember each layer counts, so vest, bbgrow, and however many layers of swaddle. Before dd agreed to grow bag she had vest bbgrow, 3xlayer cellular and a fluffy in her cot at night and just the fluffy in the moses DDuring the day.

notsoold · 05/01/2014 05:58

Thanks rosie....I will try that! Of course if Joe sleeps then the insomnia makes itself present!!!

Going to sleep some more!:)

blueblackdye · 05/01/2014 15:13

Good luck Rosie. You will have wonderful time and I can understand the stress of the trip, have faith, keeping my fingers crossed your journey will be as smooth as a walk in the park. At least Rosebud will get to wear the lovely summer dresses she has Wink
Notso, sorry I have no experience of swaddling, we have gone straight to sleeping bags and cot from birth. I am sure you will get lots of advice on here.

EagleRay · 05/01/2014 17:56

Notsoold I thought DD was going to love being swaddled and the fool that I am, I bought her a lovely merino one, and did she like it? Did she hell! She was like an angry Houdini, furiously fighting her way out every time we wrapped her up in it. Our bedroom was very cold last winter, and can remember the gro egg thermometer turning blue in the night and doing its sad face telling us that the temp was below 14c or something. I think one thing that helped was putting a sheepskin in the cot, then a sheet on top and then she lay on that in a grobag (merino!) plus a cellular blanket or two. Can remember her alarming habit of pulling the blanket over her face, but doesn't matter so much with cellular.

Rosie am really glad you've got your trip sorted. Sounds like there will be good and bad bits, but once you are on that plane you can just focus on the trip rather than preparing for it! The most important thing of course is that you have some internet access that you can vent to us every eve when DP has disappeared out and your SiL is trying to feed the baby Smile

BBD well done on the tidying - we had a big blitz yesterday but it's never quite enough in this house! And good idea re swapping the toys around!

Exhausting day here yesterday - both siblings visited with their partners plus 2 nephews. No space to sit them all at the table for lunch, but we managed but having overflow area in the lounge. And I managed to cook something that suited everyone's varying tastes! Older DN (12) has Asperger's and up until the summer had progressed well in a good primary school. Then he went to mainstream secondary and has utterly floundered and been refusing school since Oct. Poor DSis is beside herself as his mental health is declining and he spends every day in bed now. He refused to come out for a walk with us yesterday and had a screaming fit once he'd been pushed out the front door. It's so, so difficult as there are things (such as school) that he has big, genuine issues with, but also things (such as walking to the park) that he just can't be bothered to do, but the outcome (screaming fit) is the same! And at what point do you let his wishes take precedence over everyone else's in the family? Btw, they're getting very little help and support at the moment and can't see that changing much in the future. DP and I started saying to ourselves how lucky we are that we don't have this sort of problem to cope with, but actually it's too early to say that and ASD does seem to turn up somewhere in every generation of my family.

scarecrow22 · 06/01/2014 14:57

notso, we swaddled dd til five and a half months! ds bit less. I think I used a cotton flat sheet or something, but would a gigantic muslin be big enough? By this age we let one arm.free and then two to prepare for sleep bag. She was a super easy baby so probably just lucked out m.paying for it now Hmm

rosiedays · 06/01/2014 17:39

Quick question ladies? When flying with lo which seat do you choose? window or Isle? ?? Or middle? ??

EagleRay · 06/01/2014 18:18

DP always has aisle due to height and I sit in middle seat. Suits me as he does the nappies as closest to loo.

Then when boarding I do sad mum face and ask if any empty seats so we have more space. Make sure baby screams at this point to deter passengers from wanting to sit near you...

Also found very very back seats are good as there's a space like a parcel shelf behind headrests where you can stow extra bits.

Which airline? Service varies a lot!

rosiedays · 06/01/2014 18:29

Ok first holiday rant! !! I have reviewed a shopping list of things dh family want. I do understand we're coming from the land of milk and honey where money grows on trees but!!!!
Dsil wants and wants and won't get it that I've not worked for nearly a year. I'm paying 2 fucking mortgages and have a baby!! She is the precious little sister whoIis totally spoiled. She has asked for well over £200 of rubbish, a special hair thickening tonic at £30, body shop stuff, skin stuff, , clothes, perfume. .. The list is fucking ridiculous. I've scrimped and saved every possible penny to make this trip possible and we're Not having any holiday, just going to his mums. No beach, no hotel, no diving. Her wants will take up most of the 1hold luggage I've paid for. Dh says she has to have what she wants and I've gone mental. I'm using 99p shampoo and she wants a fucking £30 hair tonic.

rosiedays · 06/01/2014 18:32

Sleazy jet

EagleRay · 06/01/2014 18:56

Fucking hell - sounds like SiL is the princess of fucking everything! Do they just assume you must have money if you're in the uk? And is DH giving the impression he is more flush than he actually is?

My piss is boiling for you, as they say in these parts Angry

EagleRay · 06/01/2014 18:58

Good thing about Easyjet is seats allocated before boarding so no one will stamp on your head to get on board before you do.

Unlike Ryanair

rosiedays · 06/01/2014 19:48

They just presume, when you convert currency dh earns more in a month than they would in 5 years. and I've been very very generous in the past, i had money then and enjoyed spoiling them. (Think ghd's, fossils sunglasses, hot diamonds jewellery, etc)
But things are different now and she just won't except it. I'm Not doing it. I have worked our money out to the last penny. Along side the flights there are the other costs, hire car, visas, coffee at airport, bus to his home city. ... It all adds up! !!! Financial we shouldn't be going at all. (I still have a wonky sofa ffs) and the house is not sold but i want to start looking for work so it's got to happen now or we will never get there.

blueblackdye · 06/01/2014 22:22

Rosie, I feel your pain. One of my SIL is a proper ass, she wasn't born before the VN war so knew only life as it was under socialism.... Met my brother, hooked him literally. When I got engaged and took future groom to visit the country, she asked for Chanel handbagS, Dior perfumeS.... They now live in NY! I really hope she has changed although I doubt, when they first moved to the US and my brother wanted to buy a house and explained to her about mortgage, she called every member of my family to say that he should be given some money to buy a house, being the youngest bro, wth? Of course, as you said, money grows on tree in Western Europe...

blueblackdye · 06/01/2014 22:32

Goat, LRM, are you ok ? Have not heard from you for ages. Hope all is well.

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