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Gardening in the winter sun. 40-something mums Christmas thread

708 replies

somewherebecomingrain · 08/12/2013 21:00

40-something mums with babies of all ages - please join us. The 20-something and 30-something mums will never satisfy you like this thread.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
somewherebecomingrain · 24/02/2014 14:17

Hello all can't believe I'm on here!

eagle I wrote u a long fasting reply on fb and lost it. Pleased you are doing if. Non starchy veg, lean protein, soup, coffee and ice cold water are your friends. It tickled the religion part of my brain after a whole - everything in my life seemed to go back to fasting - like a dope smoker talking about how to roll for hours - it got a bit obsessive. But I am bf a 2-st baby. Anyway the mn 5:2 thread is a great place they are also religious about this infinitely forgiving woe (way of eating) and will stoke resolve if it flags.

scare loved your farewell to maternity leave - v moving. Also typo joy - nicely ambiguous - good double take.

goat are you ok?

notso I think single childhood is ok - the ones I know have turned out great. They are cultivated and cared for in a way not poss for multis and that compensates for siblings.

But that doesn't mean you are wrong or odd for wanting a sibling - I did.

rosie well done on job application. It'll be me next.

bbd mmm thanks for recipe

dr love your spa experience whither this retro hotel?

seaside honey see above re siblings v single child. Hugs to you you are being enormously brave with slugs. Xxx

OP posts:
bytheseaside · 24/02/2014 19:21

hey somewhere Smile

Blueblackdye · 24/02/2014 22:25

Knotty I have tried the recipe in a non madeleine mould, it did not work. Suppose you need the actual mould, I bought 2 silicon x9 madeleines on Amazon for £8 both. Remember not to fill them too much, they get bigger during baking and then deflate but it is not nice to see them overflowing...
Seaside slugs, brrrr, I shiver at the thought.... You are indeed very brave. I am scared of spiders. And hate to deal with mice or trapped birds....
Somewhere, I took out all my bottles to take them to hospital/charity... A saw Baby Some's one and decided she wanted some milk in it, here you go, she had her first 120ml of formula.... In 1 go without fighting. You might have changed my life after almost 19months of BF !!!
scarecrow good luck with your first paper tomorrow
rosie well done on the application, it will get easier after the first few :)
goat hope DH is ok and you too
eagleray how is baby Eagle today ? Is she still off her food ?

Oh, I just had another FIRST with A tonight, she was asleep by 7.30 tonight and at 10pm, I heard her talking, "MiMi, Mimi, here, here" I assume she meant "Mummy, come here to pick me up" anyway DH went to her and she started crying a bit, with even more Mimi, Mimi, Mimi.... All is quiet now. They must have fallen asleep together !

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Blueblackdye · 25/02/2014 09:48

So I reiterated the experiençe this morning, 180ml of formula in Baby Some's bottle, A took all of it without fighting and went on boobs afterwards, more a confort thing, I think as they are still very full, will take my expressing thingy out now. And hope I can get 210ml for tomorrow morning. Wish me luck, ladies.
Part of me is sad but I don't want to miss the window this time.

Blueblackdye · 25/02/2014 09:49

I feel selfish though.

bytheseaside · 25/02/2014 10:36

Hi bbd at 17mo I'm torn - I love the morning bf cuddle, but the chilly middle of the night teething bite / feeds, hmm less nice, and I would like to get my body and normal clothes back ... I may limp along to 2yo if I can, but at the moment that seems like a long way away. I feel selfish too for feeling that way. she's been drinking water / cow's milk in the day for a bit, with the odd bf. Never ever tried formula - should I have been doing that instead of cows milk??

Blueblackdye · 25/02/2014 10:50

Hey seaside, I also kind of decided to push BF until 2yo but it would be nice to be able to escape for one evening or lie in one morning as and when. And go back on the pill, number 3 would not be a great idea :( and can't really ask DH to be a monk forever. This is why I feel selfish.
I have read that until 2, it is good to give formula as cow's milk has not got as many nutrients, iron, vitamins, too much fat not enough proteins.... But it is French literature, things are done differently in the UK. HV advised me to give multivitamin drops to A as she was bf (recommendation for bf babies or babies taking less that 500ml of formula a day). DS was on formula until he was 3, but he could have cows milk too if he wanted too, I did not give him drops except vit D.

Blueblackdye · 25/02/2014 11:21

Erratum: cows milk brings too much proteins and salt compared to formula milk. The quantity of fat is the same but not same origins. Vit E, D and Iron are in formula not in cows milk. Until 3yo, toddlers should get a minimum of 500ml a day, but recommendations are between 600 and 750ml.

drspouse · 25/02/2014 14:08

We were told formula till 1 then whole milk then semi-skimmed at 2. That seems to be the Dept of Health recommendation and our HV said the same. There also doesn't seem to be a minimum amount of milk after 1 though if less than (can't remember amount) of formula before 1, they do recommend vitamin drops.

somewherebecomingrain · 25/02/2014 18:20

Oh Blimey bbd bet you have mixed feelings about that. I'm managing to mix-feed baby some... She seems to oscillate back and forth between lots of formula and insisting on boob.

I want to go gently with her but want to quit by 15 months as with ds cause my boobs need real bras.

Pangs galore I have to say even at the thought of it. But life has to go forward.

Great advantages to ending bf so bless you enjoy it - baby some is pleased for A! Xx

OP posts:
Blueblackdye · 25/02/2014 18:39

Thanks Somewhere, mix feeding is the answer. My boobs need real bra as well. I will go gently, bet the most difficult will be the evening feed.
DrSpouse, French and UK baby toddler feeding are miles apart !

EagleRay · 25/02/2014 21:23

BBD, Seaside and Somewhere - I have a similar problem with weaning DD off BF. Was going to do it when she turned 1, but we've got nowhere! It's something I definitely have to do soon for medical reasons but it's so bloody hard as it will be rocking the boat in our daily routine. DD expects boobs when she wakes up, and also when we get home from work/nursery (this is the most critical feed of the day and will be the hardest to cut out). The nighttime one used to be important too as she would feed to sleep but usually find now that even if I put her down asleep, 30 seconds later she has risen like a zombie to to hang over the side of the cot and laugh, throw her toys around etc.

Replacement milk was a bit of a problem as she never took to formula or cow's milk so just has water during the day. She might be a bit more up for it now though as not nearly as tricky to get liquids down her. It's so hard giving up altogether though isn't it!

DD is thankfully loads better now after bug and eating normally. She's been hilarious this evening - fed me raisins while we were sat in the kitchen just before bedtime (hmm i think she knew I was supposed to be fasting). Then once upstairs on the changing table she did her usual nonsense of leaping into crawling position while I was trying to change her nappy. Before I could get a clean nappy on, she'd done a big wee on the mat and then proceeded to dance/roll in it and was covered from head to foot so ended up having a last minute bath.

Somewhere sorry you lost your FB message re fasting - would love to have seen it! I think I've been doing pretty much as per your advice - in the morning I have tea, coffee, water and miso soup, then for lunch I have a litre of lentil and tomato soup (spread out over two servings). Then more drinks in the afternoon, then stir fry veg with a quorn burger and a little bit of melted goat's cheese for dinner, and think that all comes in at around 600 calories. Will have to vary the menu a bit soon, but so far that's worked pretty well. The 5:2 thread has been really useful and have posted on there fairly frequently. Interesting what you said about your thought processes while fasting - I was worried I would be too light-headed to work properly but in fact the opposite has happened and I've been really productive (almost as if my IQ has gone up a few points)

Scarecrow well done on getting through your first 'productive' day - I'm sure there were no typos Smile How are you managing energy-wise with your new routine?

Knotty your charity walk sounds fab - 20 miles is pretty epic! I'm not sure what the longest distance I've done is, but think it was about 15 miles. The main discomforts I remember were massive blisters on my little toes plus a little bit of hip pain I think (felt it there more than my leg muscles). It was in fairly intense humidity (jungle climate) so that may have contributed to the blisters but probably best to have some well-worn shoes to walk in! I'm not sure how much you would need to train as I think these types of things tend to be as much a mental feat as a physical one (and think you are fairly fit anyway?) I think if you can manage a 10-miler ok, then you will be able to dig deep on the day and to twice that!

Seaside plastic food is awesome isn't it! DD got some last year from a Japanese friend and it's got some brilliantly bizarre items such as a piece of scampi that can be cut in half then put back together again as it's velcro backed! Do you have to play pretend eating with DD? Smile

Rosie first letter is the hardest - the next one will be a doddle in comparison!

scarecrow22 · 26/02/2014 05:32

wow what a lot of wonderful chat in here. I feel like we are finding our natural rhythm between FB and here. Lovely.

knotty lady if you can give birth to re3 children.and care for them you can do pretty well any feat of endurance! You seem a good walker, pace Austria and photos of weekend hikes. Go for it. What charity?

seaside more hugs from.me. I hope.my words to NotSo were not part of upsetting you. I was not suggesting children without siblings suffer - not at all. As Sbr says only children I know tend to be very well adjusted, interesting and form very strong

scarecrow22 · 26/02/2014 05:40

sorry, a child arrived....(another one Hmm see time of post)...

...friendships.

everyone is up...will return later x

drspouse · 26/02/2014 08:48

Well we have another afternoon with our social worker today (I'm in work this morning, just about to go and help a new part time temporary person, and my absolutely lovely and worth her weight in gold but not massively tech savvy assistant, set up some computer programs). Shouldn't take so long as the last one (I hope!) but I'm picking up DS from nursery just before lunch and DH is doing us lunch.

The SW wants to see us all together and I hope she realises that she'll get us all having lunch but she will then get DS either a) having a tantrum because he's tired or b) saying "night night bed" and going up for his nap!

Blueblackdye · 26/02/2014 09:37

Good luck with the meeting DrSpouse.

bytheseaside · 26/02/2014 14:39

Thanks all re milk advice - what do they actually make formula from - anyone know?? I'd kind of forgotten vit drops for DD (and me) lately, so will start them again Blush So, If I was going to try and introduce a bottle of bm / milk as part of weaning at some stage, what kind would I need for a 17 month old? I have literally never bought a bottle, although she does have one at nursery at nap time as a precursor to self settling to sleep. How do they do that? How? They are magicians.
God yes, I long for a normal bra - 2 years on my maternity / nursing bras are not only very unstylish, but are also washed-out and threadbare. Anyone else see the granny pants thread in chat and feel recognition? Sorted out chest of drawers recently and discovered I have not one single pair of nice pants. Lingerie? Belongs to another life...

yes good luck drspouse - I really hope it goes well

eagle haha re zombie baby! I have overly-dramatic baby here - throwing toys and hanging off the cot sides doing new fake-cry she has learned from the more bad-tempered babies at nursery - it is hard not to laugh ... Re pretend food - I am mainly required to name everything over and over again, while she insists everything is an apple.

scare no you didn't upset me! the 'only' issue has been on my mind for ages - I love my siblings, can't imagine being without them, so that's mainly it I think. She does have cousins though, so will have to make sure she sees them lots. PS sent you a pm.

Right, late lunch of cold burnt sausages and wilted rocket as I don't have anything else in that doesn't need cooking, and new frugal life demands that I 'use them up' {becomes own mother}

bytheseaside · 26/02/2014 14:40
  • I meant what kind of bottle would I need, not what kind of milk
Blueblackdye · 26/02/2014 14:57

Baby Some offered a Tommy tippee to A who has previously rejected Avent, Nuk, bebe confort and lots of other brands!

drspouse · 26/02/2014 15:16

At 17 months I'd be going straight to a sippy cup of whole milk, to be honest. Bottles aren't great for teeth, so don't use them at this age if you don't have to!

We switched from Avent bottles to Nuk with soft spouts at about 8/9 months, then to the Tommee Tippee for water and Oxo for milk (as they are see through and he wouldn't take milk from anything coloured) somewhere between 12 and 15 months, maybe even a bit younger. Whole milk at about 11m 3w because we were about to go away but we would probably have taken some ready cartons if we'd realised how annoying it was to have to keep the whole milk cold before you open it, whereas formula at least is in small portions and doesn't need refrigeration before opening.

drspouse · 26/02/2014 15:18

PS more importantly meeting with the SW was fine, she saw two of our referees today too, one of them said "isn't she nice!" which she is. She did say that there is an internal competition among the SWs to top the revelation from one referee that "they're a lovely couple and their child is lovely but X has been having an affair". Sadly ours did not oblige.

rosiedays · 26/02/2014 17:30

So much going on here, not keeping up sorry. Hi everyone.
Made a huge fopa. .. Sent dmil some pic's of dd feeding herself. .. In every one she was eating with her left hand! !!! She called dh instantly to tell me to make sure she doesn't do it again! !! Must take more care when selecting pic's in future. :)

rosiedays · 26/02/2014 21:24

Can anyone share some sleep dust please? ?
Hourly feeding a velcro baby with snotty nose is exhausting. It's a few nights in a row now and tonight's not looking good :(
She's momentarily asleep in the car chair and I'm wondering how long i can let her sleep in it. ... I've given her calpol and hoping it helps. :(
Did anyone see the news clip about malaria vaccine? Only saw a tiny clip but enough to remind to be thankful for full bellys and warm safe beds. Xx

EagleRay · 26/02/2014 21:55

oh dear Rosie the left handed incident is very unfortunate, but bloody hilarious! Sorry she's poorly - the perma-snot/cough/cold thing is ghastly isn't it. Calpol always seems to help with sleep. We've also got a saline nasal spray to help unblock the snot at night. Other than that, there's Olbas oil (or the cheaper version) which you can put on their bedding/clothing, plus I think raising the head end of the cot might help slightly with breathing?

If she's comfortable in the car seat I would be inclined to let her sleep there for a while - no idea how long is a good idea, but as a one-off and it's allowing everyone to get some rest then I don't think it's a problem?

Seaside - you spurred me on today to start the weaning off BF process and I bought a couple of different 12mo+ bottles of ready-made formula from the supermarket, with the intention to offer a small amount first before BF. Started with 50ml this eve when we got home but it was rejected in favour of boob. Tried her again after a bit of boob and she had some, then at bedtime she finished off the remainder, but then screamed until she'd had boob Confused At least she doesn't have a problem with the taste of it - just needs to get a bit more used to it and hopefully she will prefer it to boob soon

We had another Dance of the Weewee thing morning on the changing table - think she realises she's onto something! Thankfully was able to do a quick mop-up as we were running really late.

Another first today - they have a little staircase at nursery with a slide at the other end and apparently she can climb it on her own, so we are now buggered regarding her roaming around at home. Really is time to get the stairgates out...

notsoold · 27/02/2014 10:04

rosie I second Eagle...those are my tricks when ppl are not well here....Hope she gets better soon because there is nothing more tiring for mum than a lo poorly.
drspouse glad meeting went well!! :)

Everyone else.... Thank you for your replies. Yes to J to have siblings (more as playmates as DD and DS are too old). Yes to look after myself better (need to lose some weight,really).
I really appreciated your perspectives as ladies with brains...:). It assures me that a) I am not deranged and b) the bs that I hear about how my culture makes me want another in my 40s is just that ...bs.

Formula milk after 1 year old is a matter of problem for us (extended family). My gorgeous little niece will only drink certain brands of cow's milk (the filtered kind). When my DB and SIL comes to visit they have to search everywhere for it.... I would go for formula as it is an easier task in that regard. Plus, we only drink 1% fat( so we can eat more cake Grin)... having said that my other nephew later on refuse cow's milk for a long while because as so used to formula milk....

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