Gardening in the winter sun. 40-something mums Christmas thread

[somewherebecomingrain]

40-something mums with babies of all ages - please join us. The 20-something and 30-something mums will never satisfy you like this thread.

Oh blimey, and happy birthday for yesterday drspouse too spaced out on Daynurse earlier to read thread properly. Hope you had a lovely takeaway and have played with your new toy .

I used it last night and I even managed to thread it by reading the instruction manual letter by letter! It just looks so professional!

Evening all,
Lovely lunch with pud and baby pud today :)
Also went to see another nursery! !! (2in two days suggests I'm serious! !!) Liked this one much more. It's a community non for profit set up ( yesterday's part of a nationwide chain) it had a lovely sensory room and sleep room. Lots of well used toys and team member had loads of time to chat. They offer as many

Settle in session as needed and have lots of availability. The lady i spoke with was friendly and seamed to know what she was talking about. She very openly said that they didn't have any Arabic children but if rosebud went they would add Arabic it to everything :)
So. .. i can start 1/2 hour sessions whenever i want. There is a cafe on site.
I have another i still want to look at. (Easier to get to, longer hours)
Very scary step. .... hand holding please.

Happy belated birthday drspouse The overlocker is rather timely as over on our FB group recently I was talking about cutting a beloved babygro in half and converting it to a top because the poppers are a bit buggered now. I guess it would have to be hemmed with an overlocker though?? Hope you're having fun with it!

Glad to hear the weaning is going well Rosie and envious of your get-togethers with the Pudds. The nursery you saw today sounds nice - I found that when you look around these places you know by instinct whether they're right. I have never had any regrets whatsoever about the nursery I chose and am so glad we had a long transition time between starting and me going to work full time. I think the most stressful bit was looking around on that first visit as I had to get my head around the whole separation thing.

Lovely to hear from you Seaside and sorry for not emailing you yet. Been thinking of you loads and so glad you are surviving and creating a new life for you and DD.

Notsoold I'm with the others in that it's a personal decision. I've had some well-meaning relatives telling me that I should stop at one baby but frankly this is a decision I haven't made yet and their opinions aren't part of that process. I kept my pregnancy with DD very secret from my family for a long time (til around 20 weeks) and it was nice not to have the fussing and pressure. Would leave it even longer if there was a next time!

DD is a bit poorly at the moment - snotty cold, bit of a cough, explosive nappies, teething, lethargy and temperature spikes. DP had her this morning as she was supposed to have her MMR but it was cancelled in the end as she still had a bit of a temp today. DP managed to lose her red book during the appt though - hope it turns up again! She's had a crotchety day of long naps, throwing food around and crying. DP didn't take her to nursery for the afternoon in the end as he thought she seemed too unhappy to go. I have a horrible feeling though that part of her unhappiness might have been down to the disruption to her routine...

Work still going quite well - each day feels like I've completed a clear round though! Get enough sleep, get up, get ready, do drop off, beat traffic to work, look productive, don't eat too much, hope nursery doesn't ring, finish up, get back on road, beat traffic, collect DD, get home before she screams, get her to bed on time, eat dinner, do exercise, do emails, go to bed, hope the night is quiet... rinse... repeat...

Second day of fasting today - hope to be waving goodbye to the fat woman soon...

eagle you could actually hem it with a double needle, that gives quite a good hem on a regular sewing machine.

rosie I do think that nursery sounds nice but unless you absolutely hate the convenient one with the longer opening hours I'd go for that one. Our workplace nursery opening hours are such pants, I say that approximately five times a day.

Well tomorrow is my regular day off but we have an all day session withthe social worker. I am going to try and give her the Victoria sponge (I saw some friends tonight and they ate the other cake, but didn't touch that one), but unlike everyone else's social worker, she doesn't seem to eat cake or biscuits. She is very lovely but a whole day will be hard work. DS is going to the CM tomorrow, and we have another day with her next week. I've made sure we have wine in.

eagleray you are not fat. Far from it. You are however juggling a lot and fasting 2 days a week is tough. Please take care not to over burden yourself.
Xx

eagle I agree you are not a fat woman!! I don't know how you are managing to fast. I am mainlining cheesecake this morning -and it isn't even nice cheesecake.

goodluck today drspouse - that sounds like a tough day - how do you manage to fill it?

Re talkabout more babies, I would love one, but with the absence of a H or P, no ivf fund, and the fact that my body is clearly a rubbish vessel, I've had to accept 1 is all I will have. My heart does ache a bit when I see a tiny baby, but much, much less now I have my lovely daughter.

re overlockers (what joy to have some sewing chatter!) I've never had any luck with sewing jersey without one, even with the overlock stitch on my normal machine. Results for me always look a bit flared and wavy. One thing that has worked ok, though, is using a ribbon / tape backing to sew on to (not bias cut which will stretch)

scarecrow how is work? Do you feel like you have a double life? I found going back so weird like that.

rosie you are doing great with nurseries - I think the looking and the weight of the decision is the hardest thing (apart from leaving them the first time obviously ) I only saw 2, and went for the first one which I liked immediately - small, staff are warm, experienced and they do loads of nice stuff with the little ones and cook proper food. Second one felt all wrong, I couldn't get out of there quick enugh. I needed to be able to feel I could trust them with her, that was my only criteria really. she loves it, and I mean really loves it, and after first few days of heartbreaker handovers, we haven't looked back.

Hi seaside (I wish I was beside the Sea today :(
Re more babies. ... i think I'm done :) had vaguely discussed another but No. I am happy just to enjoy rosebuds journey. There as so many babies in my family though and more still hoped for that i know i will have babies around for a long time. :) in different circumstances i would do it again. I love babies ;)

Well it's actually over for today! Have grabbed a sandwich and as DS is in the childminder all day will head into town after that! There's a long list of topics to cover but many of them are just repeats of things we already covered in our previous home study (like our childhoods etc.) so she will take the info from there.

We have another day next week but again it looks like it won't be a full day - she wants to see us with DS, and she's also going to try and see our two referees that day too, as they are local to us and it's less travelling for her.

seaside I don't find seams too bad on knits on the regular machine with either a long narrow zig zag, or an overlock stitch, but they just end up messy inside, and I can't be bothered trimming them. I found that hems were awful for being wavy until someone told me to use an iron on sticky tape (Steam a Seam it's called) and that stabilises them nicely.

Overlockers... My mum bought one to help with jersey as well...she is struggling to get a nice finish.

Thank you all for your feedback!!! I get myself quite unsure as sil always put forward that my ideas are because I am a foreigner. So it is nice that I am not alone in desiring another one. Well confirmed to dh that I really don't want the mirena again....he is not that good with condoms so I might hope for an accident??? Lol...
Off to change another poonami...

Morning all, well I booked myself a massage today as a final birthday treat (though we still have plenty of cake, I am trying to limit myself to a slice a day!). They only had a 9 am slot but I knew I'd be up, and I was right. Currently sitting in the hotel foyer waiting for the spa to open. It's a restored 1930s hotel with a lovely sea view and jazz playing!

What a lovely Saturday morning Dr spouse. Enjoy your massage.
Ok teeth grinding. .... rosebud has started grinding her (4) teeth and it's horrible. Anyone else had this and anything i can do? Dr Google says it's harmless but it's awful to hear. I'm saying no and giving her something to chew but she'd rather grind. Dh hates it. (I do it in my sleep apparently) it's like nails on a blackboard for him. :)

Enjoy the massage, spa, jazz and sea view

Hope you had a nice massage Drspouse

Rosie the teeth grinding is making me cringe! I had a quick look on the web and it seems that it's common, harmless and they will probably grow out of it. Sometimes it can be an indicator that they're in pain, but if DD is otherwise ok then it is possibly a habit she has inherited!

My working day on Friday came to an abrupt end just before 10am - was in a meeting and the nursery rang - DD had started vomiting so I had to pack up my things, make my apologies and leave. When I got to the nursery, there was this chorus of howling so think the bug DD has was affecting quite a few other babies. Got her home and put her to bed in her hammock as she was very sleepy then fell fast asleep myself. Woke up a couple of hours later to find poor DD crying and lying in a pile of vomit and poo. It was one of those moments where you kind of just stand there for a minute, wondering how on earth you're going to be able to pick them up without getting covered yourself.

She's a bit better today - no vom and is eating small amounts again, but is very sleepy and still not quite right.

Am pleased to report that the two days of fasting has resulted in a weight loss of 3lb in the first week! It was pretty easy to do - thought I would spend the fast days feeling dizzy and obsessing about food, but it was pretty easy. Weight training is slow progress as not finding the time to exercise much, but have some definition now and manage to lift heavier weights at each session. It's funny - in some ways my body is irreversibly shot to pieces by having a baby, but the upside is that it's given me the determination to make it better than it's ever been. My tummy is a mass of wobbly skin, but underneath are some very strong abs.

Seaside - you just know don't you when you've found a nursery you are happy with. Trust is definitely the most important thing - I always feel safe in the knowledge that DD is having a great time and is being well cared for. Her second keyworker has actually just been in touch with me to ask if she's better now, which is really sweet of her.

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend x

Relationship with the carers is the most important when choosing a nursery, if you trust them, your child will feel comfortable and settle more quickly. The carers at A's nursery are brilliant, the management much less but at the end of the day, she spends time with carers and as long as management is not getting in the way, I am fine with it. The best sign is A going confidently in her room towards her carers and hugging them.

This is the last day of half term. DS has been wonderful, doing a bit of homework everyday, having a short nap with his sister and me, we went to museums, parks, playground, had a few playdates... DH took half a day off and we went swimming all together.

Eagle, well done on weight loss ! You did not look fat on the pics. Hope baby Eagle feels better soon.

DrSpouse, how was the spa ?

Scarecrow, how was the first week back at work ?

hello all.

first I have to say: T crawled!!!! and a bit as when he gets the hang of this life will be less easy!

I'm late to this party, notso, but wanted to respond to your question about later babies. given we are all in our 40s I'm guessing the question is more about DH's age. Firstly having children is always an essentially selfish thing - gloriously so! But for me having a second was very much about also giving DD a sibling. if anything I felt having older parents meant it was more important she had somebody to play with and later they could.share any burden of worry or care for us oldies. obviously we cannot guarantee our children get on, but we can give them the opportunity. It is also a.motivator for me to.try and stay active. I can't be young when she is 13, but I'd like to be able to play tennis.with her or go swimming and so on.

Rosie do keep us posted about nursery etc. Hope you find what you feel is right. Are you no longer going down the Muslim child carer /nursery route you discussed before? Also triply support advice to do as much settling in as you can.

First week at work was a soft landing - real work starts Tues when I will be expected to produce results. Getting nervous... Can discuss it more on FB. T seems to have been happy - he also has v sweet Jew habit of smacking his lips when he likes food or sees his milk DD seems to have missed me more but has handled it v well all considered. We had some string boundry testing on Friday and this weekend but she seems to have settled down again. She is being lovely with T too: she wants to cuddle him a lot and when he is upset she sings the little song I have made his (Hush little baby) which is ever so sweet.

Hope you have had food weekends. x

I'll let you giggle over the inevitable typos!

Eagle hope dd has had a good weekend.

I've continued taking steps and found a couple of jobs to apply for. Both full time and one quite exciting. It's a position i would have jumped at before dd and would be a nice career move as well as a job. It's a 12 m
onth contract. The other a bit of a step backwards but a reasonable salary. Struggling a bit with confidence and cover letter but hopefully I'll get it finished tonight and apply. Fx

I completely agree about the issue of children of older parents having siblings. DH is an only, and though he won't have it that he suffered, I know he would have liked to have someone to share the burden of his parents when elderly. And that's one of our reasons for adopting again.

The massage was llooooovvvely - hot stone thingy - will definitely be having one of those again. However as it was early I said I'd have a coffee at the hotel and meet DH and DS after a little while but apparently I wasn't supposed to have a coffee as a non-resident. So I had an illegal coffee (because they served it but then told me off).

DH has been doing Extreme Varnishing and I've been cutting out fabric for most of the weekend. DS has been very good and pottering around by himself without breaking too many things. Not too bad a day at work tomorrow, either, and we're going down to London Thursday through Sunday - I have a work meeting on the Thursday so we're making a weekend of it (DH can work remotely on the Friday which is handy, that's my regular day off).

Completely out of the blue, some of you have asked for my madeleines recipe, here it is. Sorry it has taken me so long and hope you all have a try. It is dead easy, very quick and toddlers can help you out.

For 16 madeleines, regular size.
1 Lemon zest, 150g flour, 150g sugar, 125g butter, 2 big eggs.
Mix eggs with sugar until the mix is clear yellow and runny.
Add progressively flour, melted butter and lemon zest. Mix well.
Pour into buttered moulds.
Straight in oven for 8/10 minutes at 180C
Enjoy !

I sometimes add chocolate chip or rose water or raisins. DS loves them for his snack at school.

Good luck with the job applications Rosie! It's hard doing the job application stuff when you've been caught up with baby stuff for such a long time, but remember if you don't apply, someone with less experience, qualifications and talent will come along and get the job! Please shout if you need any help

Scarecrow thank you for the wonderful typos - I read them while endlessly BFing DD at bedtime and they didn't half make me laugh.

Glad you had a nice massage DrSpouse - haven't tried the hot stone thing but would love to.

Thanks for the madeleine recipe - looks yummy!

DD better today and is back to nursery tomorrow, but seems to tire slightly more easily than usual and is being a bit funny with her food. Not sure if it's linked to being ill or just a phase, but she has just a few mouthfuls, then the rest gets spat out or thrown over the side of the highchair. Absolutely infuriating, but I guess it's best to ignore, however difficult that is! On the plus side, she's drinking plenty, and even pinched some juice out of DP's sports bottle when he came back from his bike ride.

Good luck with job applications Rosie. I can't imagine doing that now, I've been out of the work place for far too long (went back to to work when DS was 4 months old but hated it, and left again 2 months later!). Scarecrow, glad your return went well, and love the description of the smacking chops, and well done T on crawling! Eagle, I'm in awe of anyone who manages to fast, but I agree, you look great in the photos. Drspouse, the massage sounds amazing, but what a strange situation with the coffee. BBD, lovely recipe - do you need the actual madeleine moulds?

Can't believe I'm getting ready for DS's 10th birthday on Friday. Bless him, he's so grown up in some ways but still my baby in others. Obviously doesn't fit on my lap anymore but it doesn't stop him sitting there . In other news, Rosa took a few unaided steps yesterday, did it a couple of times before resorting to bum shuffling again.

I'm contemplating a 20 mile charity walk in June - has anyone ever done anything like this, and if so, am I right in thinking I'll need to train?

knotty I've never done anything for 20 miles but good luck!

I'm feeling a bit sad today about the sibling things - I always really wanted that for dd too. just me and her is such a tiny family of 2, and we don't even live very near family. I feel like she needs more people, and I've let her down.

bbd I love warm madeleines, and the house full of that vanilla smell mmmm I don't have any moulds but would love some. Can't remember the last time I baked - must be a couple of years at least, I used to love it. sharing the kitchen with slugs at the moment (yuk) so using it isn't much of a pleasure, more a battle zone of constant wiping down, and salt and copper tape barriers round everything - and dead slug slime. Gruesome. Not sure I'll be staying in this house.

I bought a £1.50 basket of plastic food yesterday, which has become dd's absolute favourite toy ever - surreally scaled with a chicken and strawberry the same size.

scarecrow I also laughed at typos

First one done ;) why was it so hard to write a letter? ???