Do you love your children more than your husband

[mommytobe234]

As husband could leave anyday (they come and go, obviously )
Do you feel more love for your child ?

Layla What utter nonsense you speak.

It's not nonsense, it is her reality.
I have known numerous relationships that were extended love affairs with children attached, doesn't mean their feelings were wrong.
I just wish when relationships broke down, that the couple could love their dependent children enough to make it as easy and calm a separation as possible.

Firstly, I believe that we fall deeply in love with our babies and our young families. But speaking as a mother of older children – I have come full circle to know that my love for my husband is above and beyond that for my children. But that is because I am seeing them for the individuals that they have grown into and will soon enter the world as. Not as the babies and young ones dependent upon me for life.
I love my children dearly and deeply – but I have returned to the original state of the union with my husband where I have remembered where and why it all began. Between the two of us and our love for each other. The kids will grow and move away – and the relationship with my husband will be on the forefront of my mind. It is he that I will pass the days with while my children grow and live their own lives and create their own families.
I hope that my husband and I have communicated our love for each other in such a manner that my children feel compelled to want the same for themselves. Each night I pray for the individuals that they will share their lives and love with – even though we haven’t met them yet

"Layla what utter nonsense you speak"

Thank goodness someone said it, let me second you Bunny.

Layla your first post on this thread is the finest example I have ever seen of why this emoticon is needed on MN.

To be fair, I think this is her first time on MN unless she's a namechanger.
Perhaps she's drifted over from a pink candyfloss site where they don't rip the piss out of people. It's all getting a bit evangelical though.

How odd, it's Lovemylife's first thread too.
Even more luurrve.

Agree Silver

Looks like the surrendered wives have arrived.

Going for the hat-trick OP...

You have started several threads :
'Parenting : Do you love your children more than your husband messages. By mommytobe234 : Latest Wed Oct 02 11:34:25 BST 2013

Parenting : Do you love your husband more or kids more messages. By mommytobe234 : Latest Sun Aug 04 23:21:13 BST 2013

Relationships : Love for a spouse vs love for a child , which is stronger messages. By mommytobe234 : Latest Sat Sep 07 23:54:41 BST 2013

So, once a month you feel the need to ask this question, and not even at the full moon.

So, ladies of discriminate affection, what's going on?
Are you a mini cult, looking for converts?

I can't compare. But I do find it easy to imagine retiring with my dh when grown up ds (currently a baby) is off travelling the world or having his own children.
And I am not ashamed to say I'd be devestated if dh left me. But that's because we have a string and positive relationship. Years down the line if the love has faded or mutual respect diminished I might not feel that way but right now I do (after 8 years).

I feel very sad for people who view husbands as "men who come and go" :(

Good research SilverApples I thought this had come up recently.

What's the agenda, OP?

You may do, I've been with my OH for thirty years, no blow ups or breakdowns. My babies are adults now.

Its incomparible, a world without either would be awful. Could I survive without DH - I suppose but it would be as awful as surviving without DS. All one big bundle of wrong.

My grandma loved her husband more than my mum - told her so several times as well!

Silver - yes, I thought I had seen this question fairly recently but didn't realise it was the same poster asking again. OP is this an issue that you struggle with?
Before I had kids, a friend told me she loved her children more than her husband and I remember thinking that there was no way that would happen to me and DH. Then DD and DS came along and I understood exactly what she was talking about. It is difficult to compare two entirely different types of love but I know that if I had to choose between my DH or my children, it would be my children.

Yes, without a doubt.

I love my children more than life itself, which includes dh. I love dh more anyone else - romantically - but would die for my children. As much as I love dh I wouldn't die for him as I would be leaving my children without a mother.

It was on this blog. I didn't say it was how I feel, just how I have heard it described.

It is a totally different sort of love.

Your a surrender wife if you love your children and dh the same?

Ooh excellent research SilverApples.

I know it's the type of thing I ponder once a month, every month.

I was just puzzled as to the similar, saccharine flavour of the positive answers.
So I wondered if the posters frequented other areas on the site, and which ones. But they don't.

Ha ha SilverApples! Weirdos!!!

Someone said it earlier on and I agree, I can just about imagine being a widow and moving on with my life at some point. The other thing is so unimaginable to me that I can't type it (although I know it is many peoples reality and I have 2 children so would have to carry on for the remaining one)

tunnocks I'm so so sorry - your name sounded familiar so I just looked for your thread, I read the first one but didn't post as my dear FIL had a grade 4 brain tumour and you didn't have a diagnosis at that point, I hope you don't mind but I have now read your most recent thread and am up to date with your news - will be thinking of you xxxx

tunnocksteacake, there are some amazingly supportive and knowledgeable people on the health boards, I hope you've found your way over there and are talking with people who understand..

@tunnocks
I am so so sorry to hear that. I cried just by reading it . I couldn't imagine the pain. I nearly lost my husband to cancer some years ago and couldn't count my blessing to still have him in my life. I am praying for you. And stay some faith in god , miracle do happen.

And to other members who attacked me for my views. LIVE AND LET LIVE.
My husband don't "come and go" and he is as irreplacable as my kids are. He is my soulmate.

I love my dd way more than my husband.