Grow old with me! The best is yet to be. Come and join the 40+ mums plus babies, toddlers etc in the snug where tea, cake and sympathy are being served.

[somewherebecomingrain]

We are 40+ mummies sharing all the highs and lows of our autumn crocus babies. Also sharing tips and information (most crying is tiredness!) and jokes. Please join us!

None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely
It's sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.

PS this thread title was created by eagleray, and she also found the quotes.

An hour spent gardening in the winter sun. Now baby asleep in my arms. :)

Have very rudely forgotten, in my addled state, to thanks people for the advice on hair washing. We have managed relatively well, with a small amount of water in eyes, but he doesn't seem terribly bothered. Trying to tip his head back was very funny, as he remained in a sitting position, so his little legs came up too! He was so startled...

We are both ill again FFS!

Poor you Eagle. And Goat. Your bodies are saying stop, slow down, take care of yourself. Can you get DH/DP to take a few days off so that you can rest ?
Scarecrow, Somewhere, I don't know how you find the energy to cook, go out and wake up so early. You sure you are 40 ? Not 25 ?
Rosie, envy your gardening session.

Had a very quiet day here. My back is killing me so 30 minute walk this morning and 1 hour visit to a neighbour, that is all I did today. Might need to do the same tomorrow but DH promised DS WinterWonderland.
Sadly my family has also lost our dear friend yesterday, my Mum and brother arrived too late this morning, he left us Friday afternoon. Weirdly after I spoke to the priest yesterday, I had some very difficult moments and then found peace, I hope my Dad has welcomed him now and they are laughing at the overprotective mum I have become after being a rebel reckless teenager. After all, they have done a not so bad job, I wasn't their best student but a few things went in and I am working hard to get where they wanted me to be. A bit late but hey...

Sorry for not very jolly post tonight.

Morning all! It is morning isn't it? I've been awake and not coping since 4.30am. Think I've almost reached breaking point. Luckily someone I work with has a relative who works in a mental institution (can't think of pc way to say that...very drained) so I'll be well looked after.

Goat Afraid I'm barely coping. Don't even feel like I can blame it on hormones cos I don't feel pg. I'm convinced I'm about to lose my baby at any moment. I've been taking my temp in another attempt to reassure myself things are ok. Yesterday it dropped slightly which worried me. I also woke with back and a pains in the back of my legs. I figured it was all over. Had a rather dramatic panic attack in work. Almost 2 hours of bawling, shaking and hyperventilating. Feel bad cos some of the staff were really frightened there was something wrong with me. Anyway, I woke up at 4.30am this morning and thought I'd check my temp to see if it has risen but it was even lower. Which I suppose makes sense because I've been checked around 7.30am. Of course I panicked and I've been lying in bed crying since, convinced I've lost the baby. I took my temp again just after 7am, it was higher than yesterday but I'm thinking crying for 3 hours probably warms you up.

Somewhere The ex knows now. I was a bad human being and told him by text. I was in the middle of having a minor breakdown. It didn't seem fair that I was suffering while he was oblivious. Does seem a bit of coincidence that he's just decided to have the snip.

scarecrow Thanks for the offer of a hug. Keep trying to hug the dog but he's scared cos I'm upset. He keeps running away. The ex is 46, he's being really good about it. His response was "these things happen". I was worried he'd go crazy and tell me I had to "take care" of it. He's worried about me and thinks I should relax, he doesn't seem to understand that this could be my one and only chance to become a mother.

Sorry, feel like I'm totally hijacking this thread. I solemnly promise that once this period of madness is over that I'll be a very good conversationalist and stop being so selfish.

Hi all

Bbd, so sorry to hear about your loss. Meant to post yesterday, he has been in my prayers. Your story is amazing and your mum must be a wonderful woman. 10 babies!

blueblackdye Sorry, didn't read your post properly earlier. I'm sorry for your loss.

Eagle and goat i agree with bbd. Listen to your body. Lots of rest and good food for starters (vit supliments) be kind to yourselves.
Eagle awaiting you post. ... very unkind to keep us hanging! !! Lol
Avalon my love, take it easy. You are pregnant today that is all you can know for sure. Remind your it's best for baby if you stay calm but tears and anxiety are normal. You are becoming a mother and your mind changes as much as your body does in pg. It can be a tough journey. (For many on this thread it was) we are here to support you and totally non judgemental. Feel free to post as much as you need
If it helps. .. The things you post take me back to early pg, I didn't know i was pg at your stage which was this time last year. It was horrible. I was horrible. I remember sitting at my desk one day (I was exec housekeeper in big hotel) booing feeling like death and not knowing why.
Your posts help me process some of that time. (I very nearly left my dh!!!)

Rosebud is lovely as ever ;) she's started playing with my fingers, when feeding :) so cute but impossible to mn!
She also loves her walker :) she 'stands' 'at the door watching the garden :) she will squeal at the birds that land on the step (lots of breadcrumbs and she has her own nature program right outside)
Feeding is relentless! I have created a boob monster.

We are having a bit of a Christmas dilemma ladies and I'd welcome your thoughts. We've never celebrated Christmas but dh has always got me a present. This year is different we have rosebud. I want her to know Christmas as a special time if not a religious feast. Dh doesn't get Christmas at all and is resisting.

Avalon, that is ok, post whatever you feel if you are comfortable with it.
Eagle, Goat, how are you doing today ? Feeling better I hope.
Rosie, re Xmas celebration, if DH is not keen but you want some kind of celebration for Rosebud, you could compromise on St Nicolas on 6th Dec, he was the one bringing presents to children, and no religious background attached to it. I should have done that really instead of telling the Xmas father tale, which I will have to deny in a few years and explain why I lied all these years....!
To cheer me up we went to WInterWnderland first thing this morning. DS enjoyed the ski jump, a mega bouncy slide. A dd not know really what it was about but she had her ride as well. We left at noon when the crowd started to be too much for me. I have become agoraphobic since I had children.

LRM, what did the doctor say about walking on toes ? Are you going fir shoes directly then ?

Bbd. That's a great idea ;) I'm trying to go along the lines of, it's what western children do. It's part of her heritage as much as Ramadan and Eid. It's a special time for her sisters and dgc. He really does not like father Christmas idea at all. (Point blank refuses to do it) i will look into the St Nicholas story.
Another joy of cross cultural marriage. :)

The legend says St Nicholas gave 3 purses to 3 daughters whose father was too poor to give them aproper dowry, and therefore they would have been condemned to prostitution in those times, he saved the girls by throwing a purse each year through the window or the fireplace !

Evening - well what a rubbish weekend that has been! We all went out for a country walk yesterday afternoon - I felt so, so cold and when we got home I jumped into a hot bath and promptly fell asleep til the water was cold. DD fell fast asleep on DP and when she eventually woke up she was boiling - checked her temp and it was over 39. We were up most of the night with her and today has been a write-off. I've been in bed most of the day and DD sleeping/crying/feeding all day too. Took her to the hospital earlier to see the out of hours doc and the poor thing has tonsilitis. Been given antibiotics and just need to keep pouring Calpol down her throat. So that will be another week of cancelled appointments - 8 things I can think of that will need to be cancelled/postponed off the top of my head. And don't get me started on Christmas...

I've got GP appt tomorrow afternoon to talk about my blood test results. Feel like I'm one step away from falling apart as just so fed up with this constant illness. To top it all off, a chance in a million job came up last week and my cv has been put forward for it. For 3 days of the week you can work from home, which is unheard of in my line of work, so although I don't feel up to working, I didn't hesitate in applying. Feel v scared though - aside from the usual anxieties about returning to work, I can see things falling apart v quickly regarding illness/childcare. No idea what I can do to make things more workable.

Ah yes, yesterday's appointment - before I started feeling rough again, I decided to take the bull by the horns and appoint a personal trainer, and I met her yesterday. No physical work at the appointment luckily - just a chat to talk about what I want to achieve. She's not long had a baby herself (has 18mo DS) and totally understands the effects of physical changes on your body. She's teeny-tiny but does a lot of weightlifting so is very, very strong. Anyway, the plan is to see her once a week for a session in the gym, plus she will give me exercises to do at home and will also advise re diet. DP a bit speechless and unsupportive about it all - I shall ignore, ignore, ignore As long as he does the childcare while I go to the gym I couldn't give a monkey's what he thinks.

Goat hope you are starting to feel better now. I had the dizzy thing a couple of weeks ago - it's horrible!

BBD so sorry re the loss of your family friend - that's very sad. Your Winterwonderland trip sounds great but I don't blame you for escaping when you did. I've been too scared to go into town as keep hearing stories of crushes, crowds, queues etc - my worst nightmare!

Avalon sounds like you are really, really suffering with your anxiety, you poor thing. I was very similar at that stage, not helped by having had a MC 6 month earlier. I was almost hallucinating blood when I went to the loo, and can remember at one point being in such a state I couldn't get up the stairs and had to sit and cling to the bannister, shaking. Things definitely improved after the first scan - was still worried, but once you reach 12 weeks I think you have access to a lot more support anyway - regular appts with MW, and family/friends/colleagues know your news so you can talk to them. Is there a chance the ex will be supportive now he knows?

Rosie religious stuff makes me so mad at times so I don't really have anything useful to say, but I do know that someone was asking virtually the same question on MN yesterday - no idea how I came across the thread. Anyway, here it is - there may be some useful advice on there.

Rosie does dh not like the religious side of Xmas, or the cultural stuff like Santa? then there are simply British traditions like Boxing Day which is not directly religious at all. Which of those is he uncomfortable with? Even religious stuff can be told as a story that some people believe rather than an absolute truth, obviously. Interesting

Hope eagle and Eaglet and goat.feel markedly better.

With more.regret than.I can express here I will have to bow out of 11th meeting. I have to go to meeting of a charity where I'm a trustee and have not managed ot for an embarrassingly long time. The clash is hugely unfortunate and my only hope is to maybe join you early afternoon when I get back to London - ironically I will come back to Richmond or Paddington

Scarecrow, oh no, what a shame, I will probably miss you as I will have to go back early afternoon to pick up DS.
Eagle, I wish you a very prompt recovery and hope antibiotics kick in quickly for baby E. Re work, take one thing at a time, don't project too much, you will find a way to make it work, yes it will be stressful and tiring but babies are more resilient than we think and you are a creative mind. Be confident.
Avalon, I have not been very helpful re anxiety. I loved being pregnant although I was scared of MC (2 before DS, one at 4 weeks, the second at 8 weeks but the line of the pg test has always been very light from day 1) but I tried to stay serene, calm as much as I could hoping that baby would be calm too. Your body is adjusting, your brain is too to the idea. Cry if you feel like it. Try to enjoy this secret, talk to your bump, take care of yourself.

Scarecrow, Jesus is a Profit in Islam but his birth is not celebrated. It is not acceptable in Islam to celebrate the birth of the profits. Last year was Sooo funny when people (my family) gave him presents. He did not know what to do or say. Imagine dropping in on a Muslim family at Eid, ,not really understanding the cultural side of the the celebration but going with the flow. .. He did ask 'why is everyone giving me socks? ? 'Lol
He does not like father Christmas giving presents idea. Presents are ok but they must come from real people. It's haram (forbidden) to believe in things like santa and fairies :( (I believe in fairies and will make sure rosebud does too after all she is my little flowers fairy :) )

Thanks for the link eagle. ...i tend to stay off that board as it gets rather heavy at times.
Being ill is so rubbish. But it is what it is and you will survive (somehow) I've given up on everything except rosebud at the moment as my arms are the only place she is happy and my boobs are the only thing that is helping with the teething (I've dug out the lanishton from the depths of the bathroom draws) excepting and telling dh i will not be doing much other than looking after a teething baby with a (thankfully still mild) cold has helped set clear expectations! !!
Re Work. ..3days at home! Heaven. Good luck. It's so tough. I've seen a job with similar hours here and am very tempted although it's not exactly what I've done before I do have the required skills.

Rosie you have reminded of a few years ago when I worked for an insurance services company. Some wag in the sales department agreed that the company would set up a special policy for muslim customers. Tricky thing was, the company name was that of a winged messenger, and the company logo was a picture of said being (um slightly like a fairy). The company then realised quickly that in order to fulfil this promise, they would have to remove the logo from all the paperwork, and also divert all calls to a special phone line as they couldn't risk someone picking up the phone and greeting the customer with the company name! Unsurprisingly, the whole idea was abandoned soon after... It did make for some very interesting discussions in the office though.

Morning ladies :)
Yay to not working (sorry those who haveggone back ) today I'm staying warm and playing rollyover and sit me up with rosebud. :)
And researching Christmas. Pagan winter festival hijacked by Christians route working well. I can put up some decorations :) and there will be presents. That's enough for this year.

Morning all.

Sorry about your loss bbd. It sounds like he was a very important person.

scarecrow major bummer! It really won't be same without you. However totally understand and I should be there early pm if you do make it.

rosie it is really interesting hearing about your cultural life with husband. I am always interested in Islam and have a patchwork knowledge of it and this adds a really good insight. Also lol'why are these people giving me socks?'

Ps eagle I wrote a ps to you which didn't post.

Sorry to hear eaglet is ill and I hope she is recovering well. Hope those test results for you lead to greater wellness. Must do likewise!

Thanks Somewhere. DD slept really well last night (8 til 7.30, with a wakeup for Calpol at 11pm) and her fever has gone now. Just really tricky trying to get the antibiotics down her. She gets hysterical now whenever I go near her face with a spoon or similar, which is making feeding tricky!

I saw the GP earlier, and got more info re the blood tests. My vit D deficiency is severe - was quite puzzled when the doc said it could be down to not getting out in the light enough as I actually have a very good colour on me due to my exposure to sunlight! It's a relatively common issue after having a baby, so am hoping it's just that and not some other underlying cause. Liver is borderline abnormal and will need retesting in a couple of weeks - doc has no idea what has caused that.

So am now on massive doses of vit D and just goes to show it's best to see a doc to be on the safe side. A week ago, I was convinced I was anaemic as all they symptoms fitted and pre-preg I was pretty notorious for needing iron tablets all the time. Good job I checked as my iron levels are better than they've been in years!

Just as I came out of the surgery I got a text from DM - asking how DD was and whether I was still able to visit them tomorrow as arranged. It just doesn't seem to be convenient for people around me for me to be ill, so they are ignoring it! (DP is convinced I'm just a bit tired). Anyway, hopefully I'll be able to stop whinging about health problems soon...

Feeling v fearful about job application - what if they want to interview me? So many logistics to sort out. I did have a bit of a brainwave this morning regarding illness/nursery - there's an agency locally that provides emergency nannies. So if DD was too ill for nursery and DP couldn't cover, I could use them. Would be v expensive but would mean I could keep the job.

Rosie I see what you mean about those threads - it suddenly turned into a bunfight with christmas presents and bits of tinsel being chucked around!

eagle glad you have some info and hope this is the beginning of the journey ro wellness. You really need to sit dm and dp down, metaphorically perhaps, and tell them you are not well ans if they cannot help the least they can do is stop pressuring you. Hopefully dp can stop making sniffy comments about eating meat! Really though if you don't explain how serious it is they cannot understand....
on job, really you will cope and I promise you that it is v normal.for children to have their worst ill times in their first winter so it would be highly unlikely you would have this much to contend with in future. As you say there are other options. You'd be amazed how creative you can become!
so.relieved Eaglet a little better. Are you syringing antibiotics??

Just spoken to DP on the phone - he has all the answers!! He googled the vit D thing and says I may have a tumour...

We mix between syringing and using the spoon - I may go back to just syringing though as she keeps trying to knock the spoon out of my hand and virtually all her clothes and bedclothes are now covered in sticky pink spots!