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Original poster

Leaving kids in the car

133 replies

chicaguapa · 19/04/2006 23:29

I have recently been in a situation where I was challenged for leaving my kids in the car while I popped into a shop.
I had driven to B&Q to get a pot of paint. Both my children fell asleep on the way, so I parked right next to the door and ran in to get the paint. I left 2 windows slightly open so there was air in the car. Unfortunately there was a huge queue and by the time I got out both had woken up and the youngest who was under 1 at the time was crying. This was noticeable as the windows were open.
There was a man hanging around who started shouting at me and said he was about to phone the police to report me. Initially I was quite shocked and particularly annoyed as he'd confronted me then walked off without giving me a chance to answer back. But I was pleased that we live in a society where people look out for other children. I would have preferred that than everyone walk past my crying child and not give a sh*t. If that makes sense.
I never really know what to do about leaving the kids in the car. I have a friend who often leaves her kids in the car and pops in a shop up the road out of sight! I have memories of sitting in the car for what seemed like hours while my parents did the shopping. But not everything they did then is ok now.
So I'm always faced with a dilemma. If they are awake, there's no question. But I hate to wake them. And then do I lock the car or not? I have central locking and do lock it as I feel it's too easy for someone to open the door and steal one of them. But then I worry that if the handbrake suddenly failed and they needed to be got out, there'd be no way in. Or is the simple answer, never leave them in the car alone? I normally try and do everything right and would hate to think I'm taking enormous risks with my kids.

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lucykate · 20/04/2006 16:54

this is a real can of worms question. i have to admit that yes, i have on occasion left dd and ds in the car.

but really, you need to ask yourself this -

if you were nipping into a shop, would you leave your mobile phone or purse lying on the seat in full view. no, we tend to take those things with us, and yet, we'll leave our children.

Blandmum · 20/04/2006 16:55

I leave mine for short periods. They are 9 and 6

scoobytwo · 20/04/2006 16:56

sweetkitty lol my mum did that with my bro 36 years ago

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Bozza · 20/04/2006 20:05

You see lucykate that is the thing. I probably would.

lemonstartree · 20/04/2006 20:20

Kelly I'm with you ! I have left ds1 (7) with his brother ds2(4) and ds3 (1)in the car for a few moments; they are fine! I wouldn't leave the little one outside a shop on his own, nor actually would I lave ds2 and3 in the car together, but ds1 is quite old enough to hold the fort for

Tamz77 · 20/04/2006 20:43

No I wouldn't leave my ds. If people (men) are prepared to go into a house and take a child from a bath in order to rape her, they'd surely be prepared to break into or steal a car. Given the complex organisation of paedophile rings these days I'm sure it's only a matter of time before we hear of such a case. OK that may sound paranoid but I'd rather be paranoid than take unnecessary risks.

There was a big case in London years ago where a man left his baby in the car for a matter of minutes; the child was stolen and never found. Never found. Why would anyone take that risk for the sake of being a few minutes quicker buying a pot of paint?

In the last town I lived in a local mum was prosecuted for this. I can't remember exactly what she was charged with (some type of neglect, I should imagine), but she had left her 2 yr old while she 'popped into' Tescos. The boy managed to undo the belt on his carseat, open the car door and get out. He was found wandering the car park on his own, understandably very distressed. The mum was convicted.

LittleSarah · 20/04/2006 21:00

OK, have not read the whole thread but I don't think I could do it because of something that happened to me as a child.

Must have been about seven, left in the car (double parked!) with my sister (4), the door was locked. However, a man got into the car and started the engine - I was terrified, I started to scream and shout 'get out get out get out' etc. I had been taught not to speak to strangers after all! The guy tried to talk to me but I just kept screaming so he got out. It turns out my thoughtless mother (who had run into fruit shop to get a pumpkin) had parked in front of him, he had a volvo - as did my mum - which is why he thought he could get in and move it forward a little!! Now I know people shouldn't double park - esp to get pumpkins - but I think that is off, with two children in the car??!! Angry

What irritates me now is that my mum - at the time - was obviously a little embarrassed about the whole thing and although she didn't tell me off exactly she did make me feel like I had been silly to get so upset... I mean, surely that was the best reaction when a complete stranger gets into your car... how was I supposed to know the cheeky bugger just wanted to move it!! Angry

So no, probably wouldn't! Smile

meysey · 20/04/2006 23:27

Can anyone really think that a mad paedophile could break and enter into a car, unclip the child from the car seat, stop them wriggling away and run down the road with them in the time it takes a mum to get a pint of milk?

handlemecarefully · 20/04/2006 23:31

PMSL! enjoyed your post there meysey!

SparklyGothKat · 20/04/2006 23:32

I leave my kids in the car at the petrol station, and if I am just nipping into a local shop for milk. DS is 8 now and sometimes doesn't want to get out the car after school, if I have to go to the shop afterwards and he will stay in the car, reading a comic or book. He knows not to open the door and not to touch anything. I wouldn't leave him in the car if I was doing a full weeks shopping tho.

hunkermunker · 20/04/2006 23:33

Lucykate, my phone and purse don't ned feeding and don't scream - far easier to pinch a phone and sell it on than a toddler!

I leave my children at home when I go to the shops - easier.

Tortington · 21/04/2006 00:08

i cant remember having this problem, but i think i would leave then in the car at a petrol station.

but i couldnt leave them in the car when going tinot a supermarket beucase of the distance from wherever you park to the bottom of the milk aisle

i could leave then in the car if i was poppng ninto a small local shop

hana · 21/04/2006 01:53

why can't people get gas when the kids aren't around? I always fill up or my husband does when just one of us has the car
the risk just isn't worth it - of leaving kids in the car by themselves anywhere

Tutter · 21/04/2006 07:39

LOL at pumpkin LittleSarah

lockets · 21/04/2006 07:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anniebear · 21/04/2006 07:49

The original thread wasn't about 'nipping for a pint of milk' though

It was going to B&Q and being 'in a huge queue'

I would have been horrified to see a 'baby'and a child left in a car for what must have been a while, and even more so as they were distressed

Just my personal opinion, not having a go, but I think you were lucky some one didn't call the police!

I don't I would leave mine anywhere were I couldn't see them, but again, just my personal opinion

Tortington · 21/04/2006 08:37

i agree anniebear. its something i personally would not have done

NannyL · 21/04/2006 08:54

I wouldnt DREAM of getting children OUT of a car in a petrol statation.... the ones i use quite clearly state on the pumps children are NOT allowed on the forcourt

therefor they are not even allowed out... (personally i always pay at pump)

I leave the children in the car where i can see them... ie at a petrol station, our local coop, as parking dorectly outside the door and a cash point just in the door, therefor im less than 3m from the car if im at he cash point...

they also stay in the car when im getting a ticket at the car park.... its only few moments, you are in full view of the car at all times and IMO they are safer in the car then walking around a car park.

Personally i would NEVER leave any children (my own or my charges) while i went into a 'big' shop like Tesco or B&Q, no way, but thats just me!

Oh if we are on route somewhere and popping home to get something i leave them in the car on their driveway aswell while i run in and get whatever it is.... much easier than unstrapping, shoes off to go in the house, shoes back on again etc!

anniebear · 21/04/2006 09:00

I think you should leave a child if you can see them

surely there muct be guide lines on this some where? No?

Kelly1978 · 21/04/2006 09:17

I have never been to a petrol station where the pay at pump actually works. I'd love to know where all the working ones are.

lockets · 21/04/2006 09:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

happybebe · 21/04/2006 09:30

just a thought on the whole car going on fire lol, isnt hat more likely to happen on a forecourt where a single spark from amobile or some idiot lighting a cig nearby could cause a huge explosion! sorry couldnt resist!

seriously....i would not leave my child if i couldnt see him but if i could and it was just for a few minutes then yes i would. society is too over protective these days but lets face it there seems to be a lot of maniacs about!

Elf1981 · 21/04/2006 13:00

OMG - how often to cars suddenly burst into flames?!! Seriously! The only times I have ever seen cars in flames in when louts have set it on fire. (I'm not being flippant, and I am shocked at the amount of people who know somebody whos car set on fire, I'm just interested!)

FWIW, my dd is 6 months old. I will leave her in the car on the drive if I pop into the house to pick something I have forgotten, because it takes less than a minute. I will leave her in the car when I go pay for petrol, but other than that, I take her out of the car.

For the point made about leaving babies in the car when they're asleep and watching them from the house... I do sometimes leave dd in the car when she's just fallen asleep, especially when I have driven her around the streets to get her asleep. However, I dont leave her, I sit with a magazine and read it in the car next to her.

jmum6 · 21/04/2006 13:17

Wouldn't leave ds in a petrol station due to risk of explosion (well, you never know!) and besides it's my excuse never to have to fill up (or pay for) with petrol - thats dp's job :o

daisy1999 · 21/04/2006 13:22

I'd never leave my children alone in a car or alone anywhere else for that matter. I think it's irresponsible.