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Original poster

Leaving kids in the car

133 replies

chicaguapa · 19/04/2006 23:29

I have recently been in a situation where I was challenged for leaving my kids in the car while I popped into a shop.
I had driven to B&Q to get a pot of paint. Both my children fell asleep on the way, so I parked right next to the door and ran in to get the paint. I left 2 windows slightly open so there was air in the car. Unfortunately there was a huge queue and by the time I got out both had woken up and the youngest who was under 1 at the time was crying. This was noticeable as the windows were open.
There was a man hanging around who started shouting at me and said he was about to phone the police to report me. Initially I was quite shocked and particularly annoyed as he'd confronted me then walked off without giving me a chance to answer back. But I was pleased that we live in a society where people look out for other children. I would have preferred that than everyone walk past my crying child and not give a sh*t. If that makes sense.
I never really know what to do about leaving the kids in the car. I have a friend who often leaves her kids in the car and pops in a shop up the road out of sight! I have memories of sitting in the car for what seemed like hours while my parents did the shopping. But not everything they did then is ok now.
So I'm always faced with a dilemma. If they are awake, there's no question. But I hate to wake them. And then do I lock the car or not? I have central locking and do lock it as I feel it's too easy for someone to open the door and steal one of them. But then I worry that if the handbrake suddenly failed and they needed to be got out, there'd be no way in. Or is the simple answer, never leave them in the car alone? I normally try and do everything right and would hate to think I'm taking enormous risks with my kids.

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expatinscotland · 21/04/2006 13:23

this whole dilemma is so much easier w/'pay at the pump' petrol stations.

jmum6 · 21/04/2006 13:42

Shhhhh expat, dp hasn't cottoned onto that yet!

MrsRecycle · 21/04/2006 13:56

I am not judging anyone here but thought you'd like to here the opinion of my dd1 who had to write at school about what she was afraid of - she was 7 at the time. She said she was afraid of being left on the car on her own. Sad

Just gives you something to think about doesn't it?

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MrsRecycle · 21/04/2006 13:58

oops in the car - not on (that would be a bad mother moment Grin)

ruty · 21/04/2006 14:02

i wouldn't do it myself.

Original poster
chicaguapa · 21/04/2006 18:17

Interesting comments. Thank you. I have always had problems getting my children to sleep so have had issues with waking them up. Although I accept that in this scenario as they had both fallen asleeep it would have been better to have driven home and gone back to get the paint later.

FWIW the children weren't distressed. The youngest was crying as he'd just woken up. Also I had already popped out once to see if they were awake but both were asleep still. But I understood that the man who was cross with me didn't know that and also didn't know that they had been asleep which is why I hadn't taken them with me. So from the children's point of view I don't have an issue, it was just the reaction from observers I was curious about.

I'm interested that it's a 'reporting offence' as if that is the case, there should be some guidelines somewhere. I suppose we should work on the premise that leaving children in the car is the same as leaving them home alone as they're too young to be left unattended. Which makes more sense to me than worrying about cars exploding!

OP posts:
ritaskeeter · 21/04/2006 21:05

Boy in DD's class (8 at the time) was in car whilst father popped into newsagent, some guy jumps in and starts to drive off in car, runs over the dad (not badly hurt), who had run out of shop then abandans car 30 seconds later, really scared me for a while (as I also leave my two to pop into same shop) until I worked out dad had left car unlocked and key in ignition. I think its all down to common sense. Still leave mine for 2 mins, but always lock doors. DD1 quite able to unlock doors if neccessary, but is sensible enough to know to keep them locked generally

Tamz77 · 21/04/2006 21:05

Er, Meysey, yes I do. There are some serious fruit loops out there, not just paedophiles; what about women who once upon a time would have stolen babies from hospitals but now cannot because they (the babies) are tagged? I don't know how long it takes you to get your kid out of its car seat, it takes me about five seconds. I don't think seatbelts are too much of a challenge for anyone.

I don't really understand people being flippant about this when it really is a risk and one that's easy to avoid. Just keep your kids with you!

Bozza · 21/04/2006 21:40

Well I go in the garden and leave DS (5) in the house for much longer periods of time than I would consider leaving him in the car for.

notasheep · 21/04/2006 21:45

Its very safe here,only today i left dd and ds in car while i posted parcel at village post office.

I dont worry about there safety in general.
My last car i had here for 4 years i couldnt lock-the car was never stolen or the children

notasheep · 21/04/2006 21:46

THEIR safety!

mummypumpkin · 22/04/2006 21:39

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mummypumpkin · 22/04/2006 21:41

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mummypumpkin · 22/04/2006 22:07

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niceglasses · 22/04/2006 22:16

Wouldn't worry tooooooooo much MPkin - I have had similar sorts of things with shopping trolleys/party invites/grapes god knows what. I don't really think it is neglect and am guilty meself..........or maybe am just a truly scummy mummy. Who knows?

mummypumpkin · 22/04/2006 22:19

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niceglasses · 22/04/2006 22:21

Er, do you let your kids stand in a trolley?
Do you let them eat grapes whilst going round supermarket? Or maybe simultaneously?
All riveting threads on here. Though the grape one was a wee while ago admittedly.

good for a larff......

Alipiggie · 22/04/2006 22:26

As I've found out here in the US, it is actually illegal to leave your child unattended in the car in certain states. As I'm unsure whether Colorado where I live is on of them i would never risk it. Anyway ds2, can open the child harness on his seat and the car door so would never be a good idea anyway :o

notasheep · 22/04/2006 23:51

But leave them unattended watching crap TV Wink

mummyhill · 23/04/2006 12:14

Re exploding petrol stations. It has been shown on many (brainiac science abuse, myth busters) occassions that a mobile phone will not actually start a fire, nylon clothing however can.

DH is a mechanic and told me that the odds of a car spontaniousley combusting are ridiculous so not to worry about it, in the 17 years he has been in the industry he has only seen two cars on fire both were poorly maintained and had had some rather shoddy welding work done on them which had caused a short in the electrics.

Prufrock · 23/04/2006 12:42

I'm with bozza et al on this - though only since I moved to a village. I often leave my kids (4 and 2) in the car, awake or asleep, whilst I pop into the shops. And yes, I would also leave my mobile on the seat. I park on the roadside, lock the car and leave the radio on for dd to sing along to. I am never gone more than a couple of minutes, and think that there is more risk of my children being run over whilst getting out of teh car and crossing roads than of being burnt to a crisp by a spontaneously combusting stationery car.

I wouldn't do it at a place like B&Q or Tesco's though - too big, and too impersonal - in my village shops people know me and teh kids so I am sure that if somebody did try to break into my car and drive off they'd be stopped.

ma2cra · 23/04/2006 12:54

Mine are all older, so not an issue for me now, but when mine were small, we went through a period when both mums were extremely ill, one in a hospice, one in hospital.

We were run ragged looking after three small children and trying to spend as much time with our dying mothers.

I did, on occasion, leave all three of them in the car on the Hospice car park, whilst I went in to fetch DH etc. (mil was in the hospice for almost 2 months before she died).

Greensleeves · 23/04/2006 12:56

That's a bit different ma2cra. I doubt anyone would judge you for doing whatever was necessary in that situation. It must have been hell. Sad

mummypumpkin · 24/04/2006 11:56

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MrsWood · 24/04/2006 21:14

My dd is quite little still (2.9) and I always worry about her safety, so nothing in the world would get me to leave her unattended in the car - I don't think there would be anything I really NEED at that particular moment when the option is to leave her in the car to get it. You read so many horror stories about situations like that - my blood just freezes at some of these posts on here.

This is not to judge anyone who does choose to leave their kids - after all, we all have our choices and responsibilites for which we answer. My choice is not to do it.
Although, for bigger kids, who can beep the horn, lock and unlock the car from the inside, call on mobile - possibly. My dad always used to do it, and I was always alright, but there is a limit at what age we can do that "safely" iyswim.