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Parenting

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Original poster

Leaving kids in the car

133 replies

chicaguapa · 19/04/2006 23:29

I have recently been in a situation where I was challenged for leaving my kids in the car while I popped into a shop.
I had driven to B&Q to get a pot of paint. Both my children fell asleep on the way, so I parked right next to the door and ran in to get the paint. I left 2 windows slightly open so there was air in the car. Unfortunately there was a huge queue and by the time I got out both had woken up and the youngest who was under 1 at the time was crying. This was noticeable as the windows were open.
There was a man hanging around who started shouting at me and said he was about to phone the police to report me. Initially I was quite shocked and particularly annoyed as he'd confronted me then walked off without giving me a chance to answer back. But I was pleased that we live in a society where people look out for other children. I would have preferred that than everyone walk past my crying child and not give a sh*t. If that makes sense.
I never really know what to do about leaving the kids in the car. I have a friend who often leaves her kids in the car and pops in a shop up the road out of sight! I have memories of sitting in the car for what seemed like hours while my parents did the shopping. But not everything they did then is ok now.
So I'm always faced with a dilemma. If they are awake, there's no question. But I hate to wake them. And then do I lock the car or not? I have central locking and do lock it as I feel it's too easy for someone to open the door and steal one of them. But then I worry that if the handbrake suddenly failed and they needed to be got out, there'd be no way in. Or is the simple answer, never leave them in the car alone? I normally try and do everything right and would hate to think I'm taking enormous risks with my kids.

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Bozza · 20/04/2006 10:33

My children have never moved from their car seats when left in the car. DS is 5 and in a high back booster using the adult belt which he is perfectly able to fasten and unfasten. He is not an adventurous child.

Bozza · 20/04/2006 10:34

Lockets what about at the local shop if you just nipped in for bread and milk?

scoobytwo · 20/04/2006 10:35

i wasnt saying at a cashpoint ect so long as you can see them thats fine should you need to get them out in an emergency ect,but in a shop for more than a min is wrong,i once saw a baby locked in the car at a carboot sale in a massive car park,you couldnt hear it crying but you could see imo thats bad

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lockets · 20/04/2006 10:36

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scoobytwo · 20/04/2006 10:38

i agree with lockets,kids are precious so id take no risks with them

niceglasses · 20/04/2006 10:39

Guilty too on occassion. Godwatamilike? Trolleys/grapes/car/tv/mcdess. Or maybe just too many threads like these over past few days.

Bozza · 20/04/2006 10:40

Actually I was just thinking that it probably depends a lot on where you live. I live in a village and so we have to drive to a lot of places. Not the shop, although I will stop there on the way to/from places. But places like the library is in a different village where I might nip in and drop my books off without taking the children.

foxinsocks · 20/04/2006 10:40

we're having a glut of these type of threads at the mo!

I always leave the kids in the car when I get petrol - it's too much hassle getting both of them out and having to stop them grabbing half of the petrol shop on the way out. Also ds quite fancies doing the pump himself and as he's only 4, he's a complete safety hazard!

I would never leave them in the car while I went into a shop but would leave them in a driveway if I was picking something up/dropping something off at a house.

I used to park the double buggy outside our local corner shop because it was too much of a tight squeeze but then one of the shopowner's kids or an old dear would keep an eye on it for me.

SleepyJess · 20/04/2006 10:40

That's what I mean about common sense Scooby.. locked in car, in a car park, screaming away for God knows how long is a LOT different to what the original post was about.

lockets · 20/04/2006 10:41

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SleepyJess · 20/04/2006 10:45

Yes but only while she "popped" into a shop and they were within sight. Parked in a field with nothing but a load of other cars for company, and parents God knows where, perusing stalls of second hand goods presumably?, is somewhat different. I am not condoning the former scenario.... I don't think it's the "right" thing to do.. I am just trying to point out there are extremes.

foxinsocks · 20/04/2006 10:47

my personal opinion is if you can't see them from wherever you are, then you shouldn't do it

lockets · 20/04/2006 10:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scoobytwo · 20/04/2006 11:11

would you leave a wadd of cash on view in your car whilst not in it,no for fear of it being stolen so why not fear of your kids being stolen

Kelly1978 · 20/04/2006 11:16

No-one would have a hope in hell of getting my lot out of car and taking them quietly and discreetly. They would make noise, the car is alarmed (which I would hear), the steering wheel and doors are locked and the car is surrounded by other passing mums and dads who would notice something happening. Also, I think people would be far more likely to take a wad of cash than my four!

Kathy1972 · 20/04/2006 16:15

Exactly Kelly, it's a matter of having a realistic view of the likelihood of these things happening. Money gets stolen from cars all the time, children, er, not very often....

Twinkie1 · 20/04/2006 16:19

Have no option but to take them with me because my car doesn't have a locking setting where you can lock it and not put the alarm on so asleep or awake the timiest movement and the bells and whistles and lights start up!!!
Saying that I don't think I would anyway would just take one idiot to stael it and whammo kiddies gone!!

Greensleeves · 20/04/2006 16:24

No, I wouldn't do it. Not only am I paranoid about their safety, but I remember being left for long miserable hours cooped up in a car with my siblings while my selfish arsehole parents shopped at their leisure. I hated it and wouldn't do it to my children. What seems like a short time to an adult "popping into a shop" feels a lot longer to a child stuck in a car with nothing to do.

mummyhill · 20/04/2006 16:28

I leave mine locked (dd 4, ds 7mnths) in the car with the sunroof on tilt, when paying for petrol, putting the empty trolley back at the supermarket, loading or unloading the car, racing in and out of the corner shop. Whilst doing all of these activities I can actually see them through a strategically placed window though. Would never leave them and do my shopping in the aforementioned supermarket though!!

Bozza · 20/04/2006 16:31

Good point about the timescale thing greensleeves. Why I am happier leaving DD when DS is there. But really only to pop into corner shop.

mykidsmum · 20/04/2006 16:35

I left three children in my car today, aged 6, 5 and 2, they all had chickenpox and I couldn't take them into the playground, and do you know what, I'm going to have to do it tomorrow too. My only other option is not to send my dd to school, which would also a bad mother make. Or I could take my poxy children into the playground and potentially infect pregnant mums, its bloody impossible isn't it?

Pfer · 20/04/2006 16:37

I leave mine locked in when putting trolley back at the supermarket and that's it (and I run). I never go out of sight and if the trolley park is too far away IMO I dump it where I can. I use pay at pump petrol (not everyone has this option). There's no way on earth I'd go into a shop and leave them in the car locked or not.

beckybrastraps · 20/04/2006 16:42

I can't see how leaving them in a car on the driveway, and WATCHING them, constitutes neglect!

puddle · 20/04/2006 16:44

Mine are 6 and 3 so out of the 'falling asleep in car' stage mostly. But I would never leave them in the car without being able to see them (and them see me. So taking the trolley back and paying for petrol (where I can see them through the window) are the only occasions when I would leave them.

And for me it's more to do with them being worried and upset on their own in the car than me thinking anything would happen to them.

sweetkitty · 20/04/2006 16:48

I have to leave mine in the car when I go to Asda for a minute whilst I get one of those baby and toddler trollies from the front of the store either that or it would be double buggy - trolley - double buggy = complete nightmare. I only get petrol when DP is in the car with me too but I think it would be OK to leave them for a few minutes on the forecourt either that or trying to carry a baby and a toddler across the forecourt = another nightmare.

I remember my mother telling me that when she eventually got me out of hospital she took me down the street in my pram left me outside the chemists, went back home and made a cup of tea before she remembered me!!!

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