Fantastic 40+ Mums

[Hpbp]

Mum of 2, DS1 nearly 4yo and DD2 almost 11 weeks. I hope to find here advices from experienced mums so that I can avoid mistakes... I made some with DS1 and my life sometimes is hell, it is hard to unlearn wrong behaviour, so hard.
At the time being, DD2 is a very sweet baby, she is easy to decipher, cries are always related to some kind of discomfort and I managed to learn what they mean, or almost. Only one issue with her ATM is that she rejects bottle feeding even with expressed milk. I'd like to be able to escape a bit from the house to get a haircut or a facial. And I am sure DH would like to feed her sometimes too.
I struggle a bit more with DS1, who is usually a good boy, energetic, happy and loving. But after school, getting him to take his bath is a battle and falling and staying asleep all night are big issues. The problems did exist before but now with the recent arrival of his sister, the intensity has increased. Or maybe they are the same but to me they seem bigger and need to be addressed quickly so that I can look after both without raising my voice.
All advice are welcome. I need help here.

Also I'd like to invite all the graduates from the Fantastic 40+ Mums to be thread to join. You have been truly fantastic and so supportive during my pg. I hope to be able to keep on sharing with you this wonderful parenting adventure.

We're up! As I've slept a lot today,im trying to encourage sleeping-in-our-own-bed tonight, which means lots of very mini sleeps and much feeding ... oh well, i can nap tomorrow pm.

We are up as well! Set the scene for u. Baby in gro bag. Ewan on playing harp tune during feeding. Cat laid on dp sleeping. Dp sleeping. Second night in grow bag going ok so far. Why do they make em so bloody long! '!

Goat. Same as u re hair dye bought it but did not get the box open! ! Also look a wreck ' love the sleeps will get better. What sort of sleeps does baby goat do I'm the evenings now!

Bythesea. Glad u got some rest. I went Christmas shopping and came home AMD let the little fella fall asleep on me for a couple of hours. So nervous about sleeping with bm on the bed anything top tip wise u suggest?

Ladies is it only me or do u all have a routine when u feed at night. I get up while dp changes him. Put on kettle make hot water bottle but back in Moses basket. Top up water jug as consume that much water I piss like a race horse. Sorry only reference I could think of. Moisture my face with nivea. And brush hair. Baby is presented to me clean and I am ready boob ready! !!

Hp & midget looked over pram on return home in case of poo! !!! Dp says we talk about some random things! Haha

Ff. Hope your brother is on the mend. Sending u a hug

Sleep seems to have gone back six weeks waking every two hours or less. Just done two hours skin on skin then feeding. Going to try adding in an additional feed early evening. Any thoughts ladies or am I being a mental mum. Skin on skin is lovely with him. Toasty little monkey. Desperate for a wee! !

LRM you moisturise and brush hair prior to feed at night? Impressed. Also impressed your DH gets up. Mine does not even wake. They make the gro bags so long as they grow so quickly!

Agree with VQ, LRM, you are very lucky to have DH helping so much. Mine is like VQ's DH, pretends he does not hear her ! and we sleep in the same bedroom !
Impressed too that you do all that prior to feed, I just go to the loo, half asleep, check on DS and feed and sleep again, if I can !

Oh I just changed my nick name. DH said I should go for the hair dye so I will give it a try on Friday !

Go for it hp. Love the new name! I am lucky with dp. He is knackered at work but won't let me do it all. He even had him on his chest at five this morning so I got an extra hours sleep. He has a manual job so I try to make sure the house is done. Tea is made when he comes in. It is hard work at the moment as little fella is not wanting to be put down. Loves mummy cuddles. '

LRM your DH sounds a gem, mine doesn't stir and has the cheek to say master midge only cries when I don't get to him in time at night . You are a lucky lady.

Midget, mine does that too, he moans that baby needs feeding and turns on the other side and keeps sleeping !!!!

Great new name, hp, and fantastic that you are going to go with the colour scheme! You are an inspiration to those of us who have unopened packs of hair dye calling pathetically down the stairs at us...

lrm your routine is I now have visions of a regal figure leaning back against satin pillows, smoothing the silk sheet down over her knees... my routine consists of staggering out of bed in my fetchingly baggy t-shirt, trying not to trip on the way downstairs, fixing bottle and standing in front of fridge while waiting forint toward up, then staggering back to bed where I feed the eager BG while reading MN posts. Last night it also entailed trying to transfer BG countless times back this sleeping nest and finally giving up and letting him sleep on me. In between his bright-eyed chatty moments. Or half hours, that should be.
During all this DH is on spare room trying to get some sleep. I don't actually begrudge him, considering he then has to go do a day's teaching in a tough school, and he gets up at 5 to prepare his day And he is very good at giving me a break during weekends.

blueblackdye glam new name! ... and on the other end of the spectrum, I've bought myself a fantastically ugly new coat today, the kind of irredeemably awful waterproof thing i swore id never wear ... it occurred to me that my usual wool coat and umbrella approach is never going to work pushing a pram, and i couldnt justify spending money on something nice given all my recent baby shopping. the mummy wardrobe begins ...

lrm routine? perhaps thats where ive been gong wrong! we kind of wing it. try to change nappy half way through feed so she isnt too cross, and it doesnt wake her up too much, although this often means 2 changes per feed. i send dp downstairs for food/drink when im starving, and get him to wind her when im too tired to stand up, and cuddle her when i need the loo. otherwise i try and cope myself as im worried about him driving to work when so tired.

baby s will probably have newborn-style restless nights for a good few weeks more according to hv (and goat) , but it wont last forever i know. and shes at her cutest at night lying next to me with wide awake eyes, showing ewan contempt ...

Goat. Made me smile silk sheets brillant. I am afraid not good old m&s bedding. Nothing fancy. I have to moisture my skin as it would look like an elephants ass so dry. I brush my hair to wake myself up. Dp looked at me gone out when I first did it. He came back with bm and got into bed rolled over then rolled back and said have just brushed your hair at three in the morning and put nivea on your face? Yes yes I have been doing it for four weeks now. So random.
Had lovely skin to skin this morning for a couple of hours and then he slept on me this after noon while I watched s film
I have pm exexe and fnuked but not heard from them hope they r ok
Hope to go for a walk in the morning I have a killer hill outside my house will help reduce my giant ass. Also getting cross trainer. Decided to cancel gym and do it from home. It takes over 2 hours out my day drive train drive so would rather do it at home. I dont have the energy to do the 10 hours training I did before

Sorry should say fjord not.

Ladies need your wisdom with sleeping. Any thoughts or ideas I could try to get baby monkey to sleep longer. I was hoping by 8 weeks we would have moved onto longer times? am I being silly as still little and need to wait for him to be three months plus + he won't sleep much in the day and I cant settle I have tried. I rest with my feet up but can't sleep.
Sorry rambling on this evening but value your guys thoughts and ideas xx

LRM, have you tried leTting him cry for 2 or 3 minutes during nap times ? Anastasia sometimes wakes up after one sleep cycle, approx 45 min, she does not really cry, it is more like a statement, Mum I am awake and I want to see you, I'd wait for a few minutes and see if she calms down by herself, if not I'd rub her head/hair and whispering ssshhhh, most of the time she would fall back asleep for another cycle. That works for the after lunch nap, not for the morning one nor early evening. I also learnt to put her down in her cot before she is asleep.
Good luck with the training. I should follow your route but I have never been keen on sport... Any excuse is good for me not to go to the gym. Very naughty mum.
Off to do some online grocery shopping for delivery when I return home !

can't help you there lrm we are in same position! teeny baby s too little for much sleep training yet. my only plan is to do lots of feeding in the evening so she is full enough to go a little longer at night. depends on her being up for it, though ... our plan b is sleep shifts for me and dp; 6-12, 12-6, with me expressing. seems dismal though - id rather be tired on balance.
not keen on sport either - plan to get mildly fit pushing buggy piled up with shopping bags up hills home from town

Oh btw Anastasia started only by 10/11 weeks to sleep through, 7/7. But now at 17 weeks she wakes up randomly between 10.30pm and 6am to feed one more time. Last night, she fed at 6pm, then 10.30pm and again 6.30am to wake up at 10.30 this morning !!! Today, she fed at 11am, slept from 12.30 for 30 minutes and from 2 to 3.30pm she fed while asleep, played with my Mum in her cot from 4 to 6pm, had her bath, then another 30 minutes nap, fed from 6.30 to 7pm, and has been sleeping since ! Hopefully she won't wake up tonight. It is more or less the routine Gina Ford refers to, one nap in the morning, another one after lunch, a short one late afternoon, you can see that I am giving lots of flexibility though !
The only thing I cannot compromise on is Anastasia's night sleep time, 7 or 7.30 at the latest so that I can perform the bedtime routine with her brother, he must be asleep by 8, 8.30pm at the latest in order to be up at 7.30 the next morning.
I am not complaining, She is an angel. Her brother at the same age was feeding twice a night and waking up 2 or 3 times on top. No wonder why we did leave a 4 year gap...!

Awww. YOu lot are lovely. Thanks for your kind comments about my bro. He is on road to recovery, though I guess it will be a lot slower than either him or SIL realise.

LRM we had the refusal to sleep in the day issue. Drove me crazy as he was a good night sleeper. Now getting daytime sleep but night time not so good. I feel so utterly brain dead at mo. I will have a think back to what I did to break the cycle. Lack of daytime sleep is a total pain in the arse, and not everyone is sympathetic to it.

I'll be back when I coherently explain what I did. Little lovely is stirring a little too much for my liking right now.... grrrr!!!

I forgot to say that Anastasia sucks her fingers, she does not always find her thumb only :) I am sure this helps. I also lay under her head a TShirt I have put on for 2 days (!), I often notice she has it close to her nose, coincidence or not ? I don't know

Thanks ladies. Will try the sleep cycle. Hp sorry bbb. I think when he falls a sleep on me I will move him to his basket. I have tried putting him down when tired but screams like mad. Maybe I give I'm too quick easy to let him sleep on me need to try a different approach. Dp tells me not to worry he will find his path he is still young at 8 weeks. I also think the length of time he sleeps at night was three hours mow less then two is me letting him drop to sleep to soon on the boob and not feeding enough so only half full. Probably obsessed with him sleeping he drops off but still not full.

Oh you all are going to love this. Went to the dentist Saturday and all ok. Today my capped tooth fell out. It is my front one. I have a replacement one that goes in which annoys the hell out of me as I need denture cream to keep it in place the other is glued in. Shit glue! So picture if u will moisturized skin. Hair brush. Front tooth missed I am going for white trailer trash look! Jeremy Kyle would love my look. Right bm is a sleep at 10:50.

We're up again!! Oh dear

We r up as well. Just thought while going to sleep as we are all friends I would do a mini bio on myself
Born in new Zealand. A twin the other a boy moved to Hong Kong when I was two and stayed there till 17. Moved to UK and went to college hated it. Bummed around for three months got job manufacturing for m&s. Left years later to work in store worked my way up to management. Been with dp 22 years poor bastare. We love to travel been all over USA and middle east and some of Asia. Adopted a rescue kitty jasper who bless him is s bit dim. Love orangutans Japanese animation and graphic novels. Love planes nothing is more exciting then Heathrow. I know lame. Stopped smoking 15 years ago same time adept drinking can't stand the stuff. Have a red monkey soft toy that goes everywhere with me and came to the hospital when baby monkey was born. My biggest achievement.

Midget. How r u feeling lately. Are the exercises paying off ?
I think I am going to have a long day. Terrible sleep last night and I use the word sleep loosely.

Love the bio LRM. Hope you abd seaside got back to sleep. I just had the best night so far.. Think it was the wine I drank . I think the trick to putting them down still awake is to get them down before they are over tired. It's all in the timing.

master nudge only woke twice which is a result. The PFE's seem to be doing some good but things still not right. Have my 6 week check tomorrow. Bit scared. Trying to be positive but I know it could be bad....
Best get up and get dd ready for school

Midget, hope you have good news tomorrow, I'll think of you when I do my exercise and send you good vibes to remind you to do yours !
seaside, I was up around 2.35 too, fed Anastasia and was asleep by 2.50am
LRM, I read your bio too at 5, DS came to me, asking to cosleep... He moves a lot so I could not sleep.
It is 3pm, I am going for a nap, now, before picking up DS at 4.15....