Fantastic 40+ Mums

[Hpbp]

Mum of 2, DS1 nearly 4yo and DD2 almost 11 weeks. I hope to find here advices from experienced mums so that I can avoid mistakes... I made some with DS1 and my life sometimes is hell, it is hard to unlearn wrong behaviour, so hard.
At the time being, DD2 is a very sweet baby, she is easy to decipher, cries are always related to some kind of discomfort and I managed to learn what they mean, or almost. Only one issue with her ATM is that she rejects bottle feeding even with expressed milk. I'd like to be able to escape a bit from the house to get a haircut or a facial. And I am sure DH would like to feed her sometimes too.
I struggle a bit more with DS1, who is usually a good boy, energetic, happy and loving. But after school, getting him to take his bath is a battle and falling and staying asleep all night are big issues. The problems did exist before but now with the recent arrival of his sister, the intensity has increased. Or maybe they are the same but to me they seem bigger and need to be addressed quickly so that I can look after both without raising my voice.
All advice are welcome. I need help here.

Also I'd like to invite all the graduates from the Fantastic 40+ Mums to be thread to join. You have been truly fantastic and so supportive during my pg. I hope to be able to keep on sharing with you this wonderful parenting adventure.

Midget hope all goes well Wednesday for ya. Did some nap training today. He was not a happy camper but got 45 mins at lunch and the same at 5. Feeding now hope he drops off again then back to bed. Dp is very poorly with bad throat and flu like achy legs. Fuck me I hope I dont get itor Dylan just got over the last one which was bad enough. Dp is banning himself from touching either of us. Germ stuff squirted on his hands. Aunty is coming Wednesday to see the little fella not seen her in twenTy years

LRM, hope your DP will get over his flu quickly, for himself of course and for you and Baby Monkey too. Your life is so full of fun and steady. Impressed that you and DP have been together for 22 years, almost half of your life and the sparkle is still present, this is just wonderful. Where is your twin now ? Are you close ? Do you miss life in HKG ? My younger sister moved a year ago with her family, her DH has a job in Project Mgt for a famous French fashion company, she quit her job, looks after 2 kids, 7 and 10 yo, has a helper and a small flat. She loves it over there.

Bbd. Dont see twin. Not spoken in years. He is a naughty boy and is in prison so I dont have anything to do with him.
Oh how exciting she lives there. It is fab. Took dp there twice and he loved it. I miss thr culture and sunshine. Have fond memories of festivals. Swimming in the sea. School was ok good friends. Where does she live? Dp does not look great bless him. He is good when ill never complains. I am a nightmare if I get a cold so o hope I dont pick it up for baby's sake. How u finding London on your return? Bet u miss your mum? Is your ds enjoying school. Clever boy to speak both languages. I wish when in Hong Kong I did learn Chinese but English school never taught it. Big shame. Also impressed u can speak both I assume. You're a clever sausage xxx.
Hope everyone else is groovy. Hugs to ff. Valium midget bythesea and goat and all your little ones. Xx

hello! lrm is great to know about your life and fill out the picture i had of you. I'm an internet scaredycat and dont like posting info about myself in case of i dont know what, but will happily pm you all my much less interesting biog - i've never lived anywhere faintly out of the ordinary! even better if we can all meet in person and regale tales.
we've had an up and down day - baby seaside's jabs this morning, she was very brave, and I cried buckets and nearly bit the nurses head off for coughing all over her, then coughing on her hand before stroking baby s's head - has she never met a baby before?? let alone a little prem. i was very cross, but I then sabotaged it by crying about the injections, going soppy and apologising for being cross. thought we'd be in for a stressful pm of crying (baby not me), and I got chocolate in ready, but babys been sleeping it off, with a little help from calpol so i'vesettled down with bbciplayer.
midget I'm envious of the wine, its been too long ...
hpbp am in awe of how far you and anastasia have come with the routine - that sounds great! we are still going hour to hour really, making it up as we go

Bythesea sounds like a stressful day for u. Baby bts sounds dandy bless her. I hope u had the chocolate u deserve it honey. U did very not telling off the nurse I would have been mean and said something. Hearse ago I won't be after an incident at work a few years back I sometimes think sod this and say what I think now. I have tact but he. Ho. How many jabs did she havr to brave? Babymonkey is next Tuesday? Hope he is a brave boy. Did the doc see u ad well? What did that involve as wellbeing? And did they give u the meds or did u get them yourself. Not used stuff before is it for fevers

Omg sorry about endless typing spelling errors in that last bits. I am a tad sleepy. Dp sick so on full baby patrol.

Hello all, lots going on here.
Hope everyne having some sleep right now. We just had second feed of night. I don't think Kid has gone that long since the night he came home from NNU. So e en with prems, seaside it does improve!
Hurrah for NZ lrm that's where I am from. Born in Oz, family actually Irish and have lived here 18 years so no pedigree pure breed here.
seaside glad the aftermath of the jabs is ok. As lrm says, have the choc anyway, you deserve it.
bbd you sound very organised! Guess you have to be with two of them. I aspire to be organised one day but at the moment my dictionary skips the word.
Today we have baby massage and I plan to start Christmas cooking and make use of my lovely freezer. I want to get in early as I don't actually like traditional Christmas fare [weird person emoticon] so plan on making what I like... Am hoping BG will sit in his bouncy chair and watch. Am pretty sure teeth are already on the move as is dribbling and chewing so he enjoys being given an old rubber spatula which he attacks with gusto while I get on.
midget good luck with the checkup.
ff BG will usually only sleep on me during the day. Except for the nap after his bath in the morning. Do you have any great ideas on how I can escape the young koala?!

Hey goat good morning. Born in Auckland nz. Glad u got some good sleep. I never thought of teeth coming yet. I am so dim sometimes. He has been sucking his hand last couple of days. As for baby koala I started yesterday as he was not letting me put him in his basket only sleeping on me. Had two sleeps for 45 Mims. Had to listen to him crying for ten mins on and off while I tapped his tummy lightly and ewan did his bit. I cried as upset he was but it was more talk cry then go nuts cry

Midget. Hope u get on today ok. Xx

I like the difference between talk cry and go nuts cry! There is a definite mummy-this-is-outrageous-behaviour-on-your-part-and-I-shall-tell-you-so-at-length type of cry. A friend of mine also says hers has a 'we need to talk about Kevin' look.

Hahaha. Kevin cry brillant. Today's cry so far has been " turn the bloody heating on woman its a tad nippy! "

Got his christmas. Card outfit. Just need to dress and position the little fElla. Then comes the cutting and sticking.

It is always difficult for Mums to see our babies cry, when they don't want to sleep, when they have their jabs.... It is weird that the needle actually does not hurt, it is the injection itself that makes them cry. Anastasia has her 2 4 months jabs tomorrow. Yep, 4 months already ! Pediatrician here always advise paracetamol after jabs, just in case they are very miserable, but most babies don't react. It is harder for Mums ! Just like childcare, when leaving LO for the first times to strangers, I remember crying myself after leaving the room and struggling to put a smiley face when waving good bye....

I am still packing. So much stuff. Leaving Paris on Sat. My Mum has been cooking, stuffing me as much as she can, bless her, I will go back to London with my pg weight if she goes on !

As for me, I was born in South Vietnam, family moved to France after the end of the war, have spent most of my life in Paris and its suburbs, met DH who is Bulgarian 11 years ago, moved to London 6 months after wedding, have lived 2 years in Marylebone, wonderful area, so green with Regents Park, zoo, playgrounds, farmer's market and of course great high street ! Moved to NW London 9 months after DS arrived in our lives and have been living there since Summer 2009. 2 kids were born in Paris though. Very lucky to be able to speak Vietnamese still, French of course, a bit of Spanish and only survival Mandarin Chinese. Never thought I would be such a dedicated Mum, anyone threatening my kids and I am a tigress within half of a sec. Mother and Mummy, the hardest job in the world, but I would not change anything.

Bbd. Soooo impressive your language range. I learnt French at school but was rubbish. Limited Chinese wish they had taught it at school. Forgotten nearly all Chinese except some swear words. Terrible mummy. Very pleased today got baby monkey to sleep for 45 mins. So got my lunch with my aunty who I have not seen for twenty years. So nice day. Taking for a walk, in a bit getting daddy some ice cream.

I want the ice cream really

We are out in cafe again! Getting the hang of this bf in public lark, although leaving the house in.less than 3 hours is i think impossible. Not a great night, but passable, baby s wouldn't countenance sleeping without cuddle-hold.
baby s slept in her crib for long enough for me to have an actual crying-free shower with HAIR WASH this morning and im wearing clothes that both allow discreet bf and constitute an outfit so i feel well groomed and capable today :)

goat thanks, you always make me feel hopeful about things getting easier soon :) (even if experience sometimes makes hope misplaced haha) so ... What are you cooking for Christmas?

LRM jab in each thigh :( i let her such ny little finger during jabs and kept her legs warm before after - i learned from all the blood tests in hospital that this makes it hurt much less. we just saw the nurse, no other checks this time for us, although part 2 jabs are in 4 weeks. we got calpol ( baby paracetamol) from supermarket on nurses suggestion, for post jab fever/pain, wasn't sure which she had if either, but she seemed unsettled between big sleeps so we did 3 doses. We were told wrong dose though- as baby s is much smaller than a normal 9 weeker, just as well i checked with neonatal nurses before dosing her up! goat do you find this ever with age 9related dose?

blueblack wow at languages! I have standard issue UK school system French and German but would love to speak something more interesting. have very briefly tried learning Russian, Italian, Greek, Spanish, Portuguese and (with
spectacularly weak results) Swedish in the past, usually for brief work trips, as i hate that British thing of speaking English wherever you go, so i clearly have the enthusiasm and a bookshelf full of mini dictionaries and but lack sticking power or natural brilliance

Re crying, yes def different cries. A wailing 'noooo, noooo' protest about getting dressed and a heartbreaking, devastated cry when being washed, and a really cross cry for nappy changes when baby s won't look me in the eye and makes me feel dreadful ...

We are also nearly ready to make xmas cards , just need to order baby photos and unpack glue. actually, as we still have 2 rooms choc full of boxes (hilariously phone just autocorrected that to 2 rooms of bisexuals ) im going to ditch that idea and go out in search of new glue!

Hope I've not missed commenting on pressing issues of the day. how is the physio midget?

Seaside, calpol doses depend on the baby's weight, doesn't it ? It should be written on the package. It is appalling that you have not been told how much to give. People, these days....
Midget, how did your 6 week check go ?
LRM, which flavor the icecream ? You are so Chinese !!! Eating iecream in this weather....:)

Seaside, I just checked the French equivalent of Calpol, the dose depends on the baby's actual weight, not on the age.

blueblack yes, thats much more sensible. And me too with the 'Chinese' approach to icecream - not heard that one before!

Hehe. Chinese do ice cream well but for the rest of desserts they suck! Everything had to have fruit on every cake pie. Think it was for colour.
Bythesea. Wow besides bbb languages u r the star of the day in my eyes. Washing your hair. Wad going to do mine Monday and decided sleep was needed yesterday's so tired and today just lazy. I have dp mum and dad Thursday so will pass on and then dive into hair washing. Feels horrible now.

Having a downer day today. Bit fed up and finding everything all consuming. I love baby monkey but emotional and physically drained. With breastfeeding I dont get a break. Sorry to moan by finding it all very hard work this evening. Back is still painful and baby monkey feels extra heavy today. Keep snapping at dp as well. I need some chocolate or a large big mac meal with a chocolate milk shake. Followed by winning the lottery hiring a nanny for evening duty I have lovely sleeps and days r for baby play times

LRM i know how you feel, some days are like this for me too. it will get better, i promise. thank goodness our babies are so lovely, i don't know how i'd keep going otherwise. treating yourself kindly in small ways helps i think. as does getting out, even on days when you are knackered

lrm sorry for your crap feeling day. We all know what those are like. my worst is always when I know that DH can't take BG off my hands at all in the evening so I have another 24 hours before I get s break. But you know we get through it... And hooray for MN which helps keep us sane. And it gets better! Finally this week we are starting to get a routine that works and BG is happier thus so am I. He is 19 weeks.
seaside we couldn't use calpol for the first set of jabs as BG was only 4 1/2 lbs. fortunately he didn't need it. Cried for all of about 10 seconds then obviously thought oh well, been there done that, now i am going to sleep. We didn't get told anything about dosage either, so the next time I took it and breastfed him (no idea if that worked, but he was ok!) and at 16 weeks we could do a proper dose which he def needed, although that was also partly because it was Diwali and the fireworks were really distressing him. I am such a party pooper now If it disturbs BG!
bbd that is so cool that you know so many languages. My only other language is German, but I am trying to learn Spanish. Was better when I was going to south America every year! Have you been back to Vietnam?
midget how are you?
Christmas cooking starts with white chocolate and baileys fudge...

Goat, it is not allowed to make me feel hungry with fudge ! :) you are impressive, I am not in the mood of preparing a proper meal for myself, let alone a Xmas feast !
I went back to Vietnam, once every decade ! First time in the 90's, as a student, I managed to find an intership for a French company which sent me to Saigon, it was very hard emotionally speaking, I kind of lost my identity. Second time was a few months before wedding in 2006, wanted to show the country to future DH, had a traditional Vietnamese wedding dress tailor made, bought all sort of things for wedding over there. Waiting for DCs to grow up a bit and will take them this decade too !
LRM, I Know, days and nights seem painfully long and unproductive, hormones are still messed up and the lightest thing gets on your nerves, you feel you have no control over anything, even to go to the loo, all you want is to be able to sit down and enjoy idle time and sleep. You will get there. And in a few weeks, you won't remember how hard the first 2,3 months were.
Tonight was hard work for me too. DS threw up his dinner, had to bathe him again. And his sister took almost 2 hours to fall asleep with on and off crying, the crying that says "Iam not happy, thereis something bothering me, Mummy, why can't you keep holding me ?" Hope they both sleep without waking up tonight.
Packing almost done. I find it hard to leave my Mum alone after 5 months. She keeps saying that in 4,3,2 days, the house will be so quiet without the kids. I feel much closer to her since I had my own children.

Thanks for all your well wishes today. I caught up with your posts whilst in the waiting room. I feel a bit dim as I barely speak English properly and you a lot all seem right cosmopolitan like .

6 week check all good. Master Midge has put on over a kilo and everything seems fine except this bastard cold. Dr examined me and said she thought prolapse already on the mend and everything seemed in the right place. Excellent news but not quite sure I am convinced. Because of the strange sensations I have and the unexplained bleeding I am getting referred back to my obstetrician so hopefully my magical pelvic floor exercises will mean I carry On improving. feel a bit more positive on the whole which is good. Had lunch in Camden and managed all on my own with sling so I must be getting better.

Must be something in the air as MM unsettled tonight and he never is. Think it is the combo of cold and growth spurt. He can't stop eating but then chucks it up. Could be a long night for a lot of us by the sounds of it.

PS where's VQ?

Midget, very glad you are on the mend ! This s very good news. Hope the cold will go away soon, Anastasia still has issue feeding sometimes unil I clean her nose....
VQ, hope you are feeling less tired. And your absence on MN means lots of sleeping :)

My language skills are just a gift from fate. Mum is Vietnamese, Dad was Cantonese Chinese, grew up in France, learnt English and Spanish at school, 2 languages are compulsory in the curriculum, happened to follow business studies, thus English is compulsory ! In the end, the only idiom I master perfectly is French. Although my spelling gets worse and worse as I don't read as much in French anymore. DS speaks French and English perfectly, hope his sister will follow. Aiming to get them to learn Mandarin in the very near future. Maria Montessori's studies show that before 6, they truly are sponges. And I confirm, DS repeats words the way he hears them, with the tone he heard in the first place, he reproduces the sound exactly.

Time to sleep now. Bye bye !