im not going to lie, im struggling...

[spacecadet]

..since h left, ive been struggling with 4 kids alone and no support, i dont want sympathy, i know im not the only lone parent but i literally have no one and im exhausted.
ds1 refuses to go to school
ds2 refuses to go to school and i get hysterics every night before bed from him because he misses his dad.
dd2 will not go to bed at night, ive tried controlled crying etc.
she wakes up every hour on the hour and then wants to get up at 4.30, i could dioe from lack of sleep. then she steams around all day, destroying the house and climbing on every thing, today she has not slept at all today.
ds2 is missing his sleep at night too because of dd and subsequently is unbearable.
both he and dd are quite destructive and ive given up with their bedroom, it looks like its been burgled.
ds2 seems to find pens everywhere, no matter where i hide them, then him and dd set about re-decorating the house.
today dd was climbing on the telly and ds was upstairs trashing his bedroom and ive just sat here and sobbed.

Ah popsycal has made the suggestion I was going to. An extra pair of hands would make a big difference. My friend had a couple of students help her from the nursery nurse class (she had twins) and they were very helpful (and free!).

It really is early days SC. It takes children a while to adjust to huge changes in their lives. I was fine initially too, but after about 2 months, I was gazing at the tube tracks on the way home from work, wondering what was the point of my life. Initially, you are so preoccupied with their departure & all that stuff it takes a while for the reality to sink in.
I think you are doing really well. Don't run yourself down, it is very, very tough being left to cope on your own. I hope that the GP or health visitor or homestart can organise a bit of extra help for you.

{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}} to you SC

My only suggestion if it is of any help is to try and tackle one problem at a time. Dont try and achieve miracles just a little bit towards a happier SC each day

I hope that makes sense!

ive just had a row with dd1 because dm is taking her to florida next month and shes decided that she needs a whole new wardrobe of designer clothes..sigh, her wardrobe is bursting with clothes, but we had a major row, everything just feels like a battle and i have no one to back me up.
i feel like its not worth going to bed cos dd2 wqill wake up soon.

spacecadet do the kids understand how much u do? maybe if u wrote it all down for them individually for their ages and asked them to read it and maybe try and see if there day is like mums that might help the elder ones to help u a bit more , i dont know i am just thinking off the top of my head, in a sort of non confrontational way, and maybe they'll throw it on theirbeds but might pick it up later.

What an exhausting situation! Sorry that things are so difficult.

With regard to your oldest dd - not sure where you stand on the new clothes issue, but tell her that clothes are much less expensive in the USA - especially with the exchange rate. She'll do much better to wait and do some shopping out there. She also can get some things that are different than what her mates here will have....

yes ive explained to them, in the past, they go througfh a period of being great, helping out etc, but then it stops. ive tried rotas. they dont work, they just argue over the rota.

earlybird-thats a good idea, i hadnt thought of that!

.

All I can say is hold on. It will settle down eventually. You are doing your best, even if that doesn't feel so great, it's all you have got, and your all they have got, and they will realize someday what a great mom they have. Take any help you can get, and grab at any opportunity for peace that comes your way. And when all else fails, do what I do just pray "this to shall pass". We are thinking of you.

had a slightly better nights sleep last night and the homestart volunteer came today so i left her playing with dd while i had a bath.

Today sounds a bit better.
You are not a failure in fact you must be Supermum!

thanks LMP!
i certainly dont feel like supermum!

Nthing really to add, just hope that you can get soem sleep tonight.

Dd2 will get easier, my DD2 is th esame age, and they do run you ragged. And I take comfort in the fact that i can hand over to DH when he gets home.

is there any chance of x coming back to spend some time with them soon?

Hello there...

I hope your had a bit of a break today with the homestart visitor - I would agree that with everything you are dealing with you really are being amazing. I am actually working on the new series of the House of tiny tearaways for the BBC so just thought I would add my number in case you would be interested in the support of the programme with your kids - 0207 428 6037.

Hope you get some sleep tonight.

Take Care, Cath

littlerach-h has nowhere to live at the mo so cant really have them.

today started out baDLY as had no sleep last night, then nightmare trip to the dentist, then the younger 2 have been a nightmare for the last hour, dd has scribbled all over the wall in their bedroom, i feel incredibly stressed and harrassed..and unhappy.

i suppose one good thing though is that following on from my thread on wilko's, im now in possession of £25 worth of wilko's vouchers