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Original poster

'SAHMS' that have full time childcare or help - a fantastic liberation or downright lazy?

906 replies

Enid · 21/02/2006 09:51

There are lots of mothers down here in Dorset who are (or whose husbands are) well off enough to afford NOT to work. I know a few and they all have full time aupairs or nannies. One of them has TWO nannies - one for each of her children.

It seems to be a matter of pride that you always take the nanny/au pair on holiday to help with your children. Also that the nanny/au pair takes the children to clubs and activities.

OK - I think it is outrageously lazy (and so does dh). What do you think?

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TinyGang · 21/02/2006 22:02

Oh God...shopping with children

lockets · 21/02/2006 22:02

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sansouci · 21/02/2006 22:03

I have 2 days "off" per week. One day is spent teaching & the other is me-time. It's heaven. The weekends are the most work. I feel like I'm chained to the kitchen/washing machine.

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Beetroot · 21/02/2006 22:03

of course yo arenot lockets mad maybe

expatinscotland · 21/02/2006 22:03

I like Oprah's mag cuz it's not 'housewifey'. I LOVE the book reviews and every month there's a featured musician who talks about what he/she is listening to and why. She's got interviews with some really insipring people, too.

I look forward to every issue. It's excellent for ME time .

Spidermama · 21/02/2006 22:04

I can't read the whole thread but .... yes, lazy or weak.

Am I in big trouble now?

lockets · 21/02/2006 22:05

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poppadum · 21/02/2006 22:05

Lockets,

No, not wrong at all. In fact, I think it's pretty terrific if you like doing it all on your own. Sadly, I don't want to go supermarket shopping with a toddler, or go to the park every single day, or read "Go Dog Go" twenty times a day. wish I did.

Heathcliffscathy · 21/02/2006 22:06

of course not lockets !!!!

lockets · 21/02/2006 22:07

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Heathcliffscathy · 21/02/2006 22:07

maybe you're just a natural

pouchofdouglas · 21/02/2006 22:07

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sansouci · 21/02/2006 22:08

I love to read in the bath after dc are in bed. I use my left foot to top up the hot water in the tub. Magazines & Sunday Times supplements are excellent. Try it.

expatinscotland · 21/02/2006 22:09

there's a gal on the other thread who has NINE!

sansouci · 21/02/2006 22:10

Much as I love Go Dog Go, I'd draw the line at more than once a day.

What is this, some kind of competition?

poppadum · 21/02/2006 22:14

I had kids because I wanted them, Cod, but I don't want to spend 24 hours a day with them. I sometimes want to spend one on one time with each of them separately as well, as there's quite a big age gap.

jenkel · 21/02/2006 22:33

Somebody else mentioned it earlier - years ago most families had a close extended family that they could call on for help. I would guess thats pretty unusual in this day and age, it certainly is for me and close friends of mine.

So is paid child care really that bad - personally its not for me.

bossykate · 21/02/2006 22:39

memememe lunch at harvey nicks or wherever pampering my inner millionaire! will be leaving the kids with the unpaid help - hehehe

soapbox · 21/02/2006 22:41

LOL BK - but the big question is, does he have help

bossykate · 21/02/2006 22:44

well i don't know about help but our phone will be aflame from all the calls begging for playdates

hunkermunker · 21/02/2006 22:45

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getbakainyourjimjams · 21/02/2006 23:01

Would be interested to know how many people who are saying hiring help is the workof the devil have 1 normally developing child. (or 2, 3 and above- at least 1 at school say). It's easy then- shove them in for a creative pottery class or whatever- you get to feel smug and have me time- hey presto.

I think anyone with 3 + pre-schoolers, or a disabled child who can't access kids clubs etc would take help when offered- even if- shock horror - it meant paying for it. Far more sensible than running yourself into the ground. And yes I know there are people out there with lots of kids who can't afford to pay for help - but wouldn't it be nice if they could.

geekgrrl · 22/02/2006 07:02

but jimjams - the origin of this thread is the idea of 'fragrant yummy mummy who spends all her time at the gym', the sort I know who have no qualms to work their pregnant nanny into the ground because they're too posh to get up for a nightfeed and really don't do anything meaningful during the day. I think people like that just waste their lives away.
I would love a helping hand - but SS have said no, they won't even give term-time funding to my friend whose little boy sounds very similar to yours. But if I had someone come in I would use the help to spend more time with the children individually (most of the time anyway) rather than piss off down to the gym or the shops all day every day.

I also think that talking about part-time child care on here is really taking the thread out of context - I've always had mine in nursery part-time from 18 months or so, with zero family support, everybody knows that a bit of a break is a good thing when you've got small children. But there's a difference between 'a bit of a break' and 'getting someone else to completely rear them whilst you top up your tan'.

ssd · 22/02/2006 08:10

exactly geekgrrl, no one would complain about someone getting help in a difficult situation or if they worked all day. But choosing to be at home and employ someone full time to do all the mothering you can't be bothered with is different.

Beetroot · 22/02/2006 08:18

But do they geekgirl and ssd???

Women have been slagted on here for having any sort of help..correct me if I am wrong?

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