'SAHMS' that have full time childcare or help - a fantastic liberation or downright lazy?

[Enid]

There are lots of mothers down here in Dorset who are (or whose husbands are) well off enough to afford NOT to work. I know a few and they all have full time aupairs or nannies. One of them has TWO nannies - one for each of her children.

It seems to be a matter of pride that you always take the nanny/au pair on holiday to help with your children. Also that the nanny/au pair takes the children to clubs and activities.

OK - I think it is outrageously lazy (and so does dh). What do you think?

Lottery win = full-time nanny = complete and utter contentment in the CQ household .

Here, here, CQ!

but elibean, 2 part days a week help a week is completely different to having a nanny full time when you are at home and aren't suffering from the problems you had.

Eilbean, i am with you here.

after ds2 was born, i was in a state. When pregnant with ds3 i had help so that i could give the others quality attention adn sleep and rest and have a happy preganacy

why the fuck not?

Lick road clean wit' tongue...

Oh and FWIW my arse aint fat either...

Soap
This having to be on a budget does suck, but I have found a lovely workround! My fav champagne in the world is Billecart Salmon. But alas!, it's about £40 a bottle.

Fortunately, however, my mum buys me a subscription to Oprah magazine for mother's day every year, and in this month's issue Lorina pink lemonade was featured. W/a wee blurb about how lovely it is w/. . . champagne!

So off to Tesco for a bottle and off to a deli for Lorina.

YUMMY SCRUMMY!

ssd, yes thats absolutely true....and I think there ARE extremes (in both directions) which, like most extremes, probably are sad. But my point is that there's a huge number in between who are more like me, just individuals coping the best they can with whatever resources they do or don't have, and doing ok. And the kids are doing ok too.
And for all I know the woman down the road who has full time live-in help and two kids (both at nursery) but seems frazzled and scatty all the time couldn't cope any other way...not that I aspire to her lifestyle, one bit, but I haven't walked a mile in her Manolo Wotsits, so I can't judge her as sad iyswim.
Ah, I need to go to bed - getting much too longwinded [smile}

i like you eilbean..you are my kindq woman

i thought Gina Ford was a smug know-it-all until I came onto this thread. I stand corrected. There, I have now insulted the sacred name of Ms Ford as well as hired paid help so I can have more Me Time and individual time with each of my children. Do I even deserve to be admitted to the hallowed halls of Mumsnet?

Beetroot, smmooooooch! 'Night.

and your point is P?

I love ME time. Trouble is I spend it doing housework.

Aha, poppadum! I have just made a delicious beverage of champagne plus Lorina pink French lemonade. It's delicious and recommended by the Queen of Hiring Help herself, Miss Oprah Billionnaire Winfrey.

Care to join me??

Someone more articulate than me has already said what I wanted to say, so this is my last word. Anchovy's post down below, which some may have missed. This whole thing smacks of dividing everyone into bad mums/good mums, which I am not a big fan of. But then i would say that, wouldn't I?

Its the polarisation on these threads that I find off-putting - ie you have some paid help with your children, therefore you must spend all your time having your hair streaked and your teeth bleached.

I'll repeat - some people don't have any available unpaid help with their childcare. Paying for that doesn't turn you into Madonna. I grade myself as a mother by many, many different gauges and find myself wanting a lot of the time, quite frankly. But the level of "this is how much I do for you" is not one of them.

Been watching the biography channel?

Clink! Well said, poppadum!

I would, Expat, but champagne isn't permitted on the Atkins diet, and I must get to work on that fat arse of mine.

i've said it before and i'll say it again until i go blue: we are not meant to do this parent sh*t on our own....i was only slightly joking further down when i said that having paid help sort of recreates what all women used to have and some still do in other societies...help, someone else around, not doing it all alone.

unless you live in an extended family scenario (unlikely in our society) or want to start some kind of commune...if you have the money i think having someone around to help (paid or not) is fantastic.

Moi, sansouci? Nah, better than that! My mum - who left me in the care of nannies and fed me meals cooked by hired help - buys me a subscription to Oprah's mag every year. And I love it, love it, love it! I have 'me' time reading it.

If one had a choice, why woudl one go supermarket shopping with 4 children 5 and under?

why would one take them all shopping for clothes? why woudl one take them to the hairdresser? why would one take a baby to the science museum and a toddler who ruined the experiece for the older ones.

if one can afford it one can do what ones likes/wants/is best for ones family

I like Oprah. Maybe I'll buy a copy of her mag. I have a subscription to Good Housekeeping which actually does have naughty bits in it! Shock.Horror