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Original poster

Three year old told to cover up, I feel I could throw up!

117 replies

finnmum · 05/05/2012 18:32

Hi ladies, please please tell me if I'm being unreasonable for feeling absolutely gutted about this; our family went to the local leisure centre today for a swim and DD2 3 years was wearing her swimming nappies. By the pool DP and I were told in front of our DD1 7years and DD2 herself that if she is a girl she needs to cover up and wear a costume. There was just something very sad about that, especially when DD1 asked me what her little sister has to cover up.

We are happy to stick with the rules (swimming suit bought now!) but this just didn't feel right. Smallish for her age DD2 was standing there in her swimming pants and I just wanted to cry. We were let to swim but I was very aware that I'm not covering my child! I had a quick chat with the manager on our way out (when the kids were not there of course) and he said he doesn't understand what I'm talking about and this is the way parents are always told about the this.

Today was the first day I saw my 7 year old feeling naked when she tried to cover herself with the towel in the women only shower room. I would like to scream what the hell is wrong with this country but that would be disrespectful. Instead I would like to hear from you mumsnetters, any insight, experience(hopefully not!) or opinions? Thank you.

OP posts:
insancerre · 05/05/2012 18:35

very sad
what's wrong with a bit of flesh?

Fisharefriendsnotfood · 05/05/2012 18:35

Thats nuts. I wouldn't be happy Angry

UntamedShrew · 05/05/2012 18:36

I'm really sad for your 7 year old too.

We have family photos of me swimming in just trunks up until end of primary school so obviously this wasn't a problem in the 80s..

UntamedShrew · 05/05/2012 18:37

And scream away. It's crazy. Sad

OneHandFlapping · 05/05/2012 18:37

You should have said "She's a boy. Do you want to check?" while treading on DD1's foot.

nevergoogle · 05/05/2012 18:38

that is ridiculous.babies shouldn't need to cover up. How on earth could they tell if she's a girl or a boy anyway?

gingerchick · 05/05/2012 18:39

totally ridiculous IMO poor you.

Clary · 05/05/2012 18:39

lol @ onehandflapping!

I agree with others, this is ridiculous. My DD wore just a swim nappy when she first went swimming. What is the problem exactly????

heronsfly · 05/05/2012 18:40

I work at a leisure centre, you would not have been spoken to at our pool,no one would have taken any notice at all of a two year old in a swim nappy,we even sell them !

DogEared · 05/05/2012 18:40

That is horrible!

lurkingaround · 05/05/2012 18:43

Oh ffs. What a load of crap. Do you have to go back? Have to say i wouldn't be back.

Littlefish · 05/05/2012 18:44

I would absolutely challenge this. If pre-pubescent boys aren't required to cover up their chests, then neither should girls be.

Fisharefriendsnotfood · 05/05/2012 18:49

Local paper?

IAmSherlocked · 05/05/2012 18:50

I would challenge them too and I would not back down - I would ask them why a three year old girl has to cover up but not a three year old boy, and I would keep asking this until someone admitted that there is no good reason. In fact, I would turn it round on them and ask them whether they were implying that there is something sexual about the chest of a three year old girl, and what they felt it said about them that they implied that, and then wait to see how they squirmed their way out of that.

Original poster
finnmum · 05/05/2012 18:53

I needed that laugh, onehandflapping!

This was Fullwell Leisure Center in Redbridge, London, during public swimming and yes, they also sold those swim nappies. I was too shocked to have a brain to ask when do we have to start "covering up" children. I did managed to ask why this was and the manager said it's a child protection issueShock. The only thing my children needed protection from today were these comments.

OP posts:
nancerama · 05/05/2012 18:54

A few pools round our way insist on those little neoprene trunks over swimming nappies to give an extra line of defence against accidents. I think this is a sensible rule, particularly as a friend who visited a pool without this rule had a child who did leak and caused an evacuation of the whole pool as a result Blush

If this is simply a rule about perceived decency though, it's ridiculous and very sad.

tribpot · 05/05/2012 18:55

How deeply odd. What 'rule' were they citing? I would imagine that even if a grown woman wanted to go topless into the pool there's no rule against it (I'm not planning to test this out in my local baths tomorrow!) and certainly not a 3 year old.

I would write and complain. This sounds like utter bollocks to me.

IAmSherlocked · 05/05/2012 18:58

I would ask the manager who the child needed protecting from, and how covering up her chest was meant to achieve this protection. I might have asked him to provide evidence demonstrating that those pre-pubescent girls whose chests are covered are statistically less at risk than those whose chests are not covered.

I would probably have been barred by the end of my discussion, though, so it depends how strongly you want to go there! Grin

Local paper sounds like a good plan.

Oakmaiden · 05/05/2012 19:00

That is nonsense - she WAS covered up - in a nappy!!!

Mind you - my daughter (who is 8) tried to take her swimming costume off in the communal showers today, and I told her she had to leave it on. And I felt really awkward about i - there was a man stood next to me washing his daughter (who was maybe around 2) and it was just really... erm... I kept thinking - he is going to think I said that because I am afraid he is a perv. And I'm not. But at the same time I think men sometimes feel really awkward around naked children who are not theirs - because people might think wrong things about them... It is such a confusion - I just really wish the word wasn't the way it was and my daughter could take her cossie off to shower if she wanted without anyone thinking anything of it...

I am rambling, aren't I? It really bothered me though....

doormat · 05/05/2012 19:03

it is very sad that a childrens innocence in swimming bottoms/ swim nappy is portrayed undesrvedly in a that society which has changed dramatically since we were all growing up... but at the same time i can understand re child protection issue...there are alot of paedos out there who thrive on this kind of thing....

Original poster
finnmum · 05/05/2012 19:03

nancerama, she had these proper swimsuit material ones with extra padding and they told us that "if she is a girl" she needs to wear costume.

OP posts:
heronsfly · 05/05/2012 19:04

Not too sure about topless women swimming, I still remember the thread about breast feeding in the pool. Shock

TheMonster · 05/05/2012 19:08

I have a DS, and at 3, he wanted everything with his current favourite character on. I think I would have had a three year old in a little costume tbh.

tribpot · 05/05/2012 19:08

But these apparent paedos are allowed to look at little boys with no tops on .. and in any case, once in the water how much of a child's flesh is really on display anyway?! It makes no sense.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 05/05/2012 19:10

For Goodness' sake- what has a 3yo girl got up top that needs to be covered Confused That's just nuts!

I remember we had an outdoor paddling pool in our local park when I was a wee girl and all children used to just get stripped to their knicks and allowed to run around in there in the nice weather. Bit sad to see this sign of the times Sad My 8 yo has starting saying she doesn't want to get changed (vest and pants still on!) in front of her 4 yo brother. Sad they become so body concious so young, imo

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