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Original poster

Three year old told to cover up, I feel I could throw up!

117 replies

finnmum · 05/05/2012 18:32

Hi ladies, please please tell me if I'm being unreasonable for feeling absolutely gutted about this; our family went to the local leisure centre today for a swim and DD2 3 years was wearing her swimming nappies. By the pool DP and I were told in front of our DD1 7years and DD2 herself that if she is a girl she needs to cover up and wear a costume. There was just something very sad about that, especially when DD1 asked me what her little sister has to cover up.

We are happy to stick with the rules (swimming suit bought now!) but this just didn't feel right. Smallish for her age DD2 was standing there in her swimming pants and I just wanted to cry. We were let to swim but I was very aware that I'm not covering my child! I had a quick chat with the manager on our way out (when the kids were not there of course) and he said he doesn't understand what I'm talking about and this is the way parents are always told about the this.

Today was the first day I saw my 7 year old feeling naked when she tried to cover herself with the towel in the women only shower room. I would like to scream what the hell is wrong with this country but that would be disrespectful. Instead I would like to hear from you mumsnetters, any insight, experience(hopefully not!) or opinions? Thank you.

OP posts:
IAmBooyhoo · 05/05/2012 20:00

totally agree gin. if 3 year old girls are at risk then so are 3 year old boys and the rule should insist all children's torsos be covered, whether male or female.

Original poster
finnmum · 05/05/2012 20:15

Thanks, Himalaya.

OP posts:
maples · 05/05/2012 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

janey223 · 05/05/2012 21:35

That's awful!!

My friend held ds for me outside a coffee shop the other day while I went for a drink. I'd forgot to put his vest on before his Tshirt so just left it as it was warm anyway. I came back and apparently shed need approached by a man telling her how inappropriate it was that he could see his stomach when they had been playing!

I couldn't believe it! I said (loudly) how if my 4 month old shows some flesh thats up to me and if anyone has a problem with that then they've obviously got some issues!

ThePathanKhansWitch · 05/05/2012 21:44

Goodness! I take dd 4.5, swimming in lycra shorts, she hates the skin rub getting a wet costume off.

I'd be livid, complain.

Devora · 05/05/2012 21:49

I'd complain too.

rhetorician · 05/05/2012 22:22

no, don't get this at all; my dd is also 3, and very small for her age; during the brief bit of warmish weather we had in March, we went to the beach (local to the city, lots of families) and she wanted to go in the water (it was very cold, but she didn't care). We had no togs, so we let her go in naked. Seriously, the number of people who tutted, or passed comment in a not directly rude but making it clear they disapproved way was quite shocking to me. She was the only naked child on the beach...my take would be that it's fine as long as she is fine with it, assuming a broadly family setting

sashh · 06/05/2012 00:27

I'd have told them she was a transvestite

igggi · 06/05/2012 11:45

Can you raise it with someone higher than the manager, the pool must be part of a wider group if it's a council run pool? In fact, if it's council run, your local councillors might be good to approach.

Would be interesting to know what part of the child protection training the manager obviously thinks he's had dealt with the chests of toddlers!

Original poster
finnmum · 09/05/2012 21:43

I emailed the centre manager and got this reply: "...The rules we enforce on swimwear are that all customers must wear the appropriate swimwear for their gender whilst in the pool regardless of age. This is both to eliminate the danger of any child protection issues but also to ensure the swim nappies are fully effective as being worn on their own can lead to leakages."

OP posts:
edam · 09/05/2012 21:46

OK, I can see the point about babies and children not wearing swim nappies alone. But why must baby, toddler and young girls wear different swimming costumes from boys? 'Appropriate for their gender' - does that mean small boys can wear trunks but not girls?

Original poster
finnmum · 09/05/2012 21:51

edam, yes it does I guess Sad

IAmSherlocked and Himalaya, if you are there please tell me what to say next Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
finnmum · 09/05/2012 21:59

Seriously, we knew they would come up with this line. DD2 was wearing trunks with swim nappy padding, so had I added a bikini top they would have been happyAngry

OP posts:
milkysmum · 09/05/2012 22:00

Ridiculous! I have a 3 year old girl who loves going 'topless'. This is fine, she is 3! I get the need for an extra layer on top of swim nappy but this could easily be just swim trunks regardless of gender. The world has gone bloody mad i'm sure!!!

DowagersHump · 09/05/2012 22:07

That's really ridiculous. I'd write to the leader of Redbridge council. And include a load of photos of torsos of three year olds, challenging her/him to identify which are boys and which are girls

5madthings · 09/05/2012 22:14

thats insane BUT if you want gender appropriate swimwear that IS just a bottom bit, ie trunk/pants then jo jo mamam bebe do some that you can buy, they have a little frilly bit but arent pink and are quite cute and definintely gender appropriate and a swim nappy but it dosent have a top.

so IMO that would satisfy them its a swim nappy and gender appropriate, take him the soddin catalogue to show him and its the kind of thing my 17mth old dd wears for swimming and if get told she needs a top i will NOT be happy and would take it further as well,

will get you a link to the jo jo things! :)

5madthings · 09/05/2012 22:16

www.jojomamanbebe.co.uk/sp+pretty-swim-nappies-in-swim-and-sun-protection+B2753

here pretty swim nappies they are called, def for girls NO tops (tho i think you can buy them with tops if you want to) but they are gender specific so fit his criteria Grin

Dancergirl · 09/05/2012 22:31

OP, I totally agree with you, how ridiculous.

Out of interest, where would the law stand if a grown woman wanted to swim topless with only bikini bottoms on? Surely the sex discrimation law would come into play wouldn't it?

igggi · 09/05/2012 22:34

It does sound like a local newspaper job now, as their response has been so pathetic.

passivehoovering · 09/05/2012 22:37

I learnt to swim at Fullwell in the 70s. Pretty sure I never had a top on as my mum made my swimming costumes and pants took less material and were therefore cheaper than one pieces.

Mad and sad:(

PipPipPip · 09/05/2012 22:54

I agree with you - how ridiculous!

notcitrus · 09/05/2012 23:17

Agree is ridiculous, but council pool I used to go to wouldn't allow you to take your swimsuit off in the showers. That's the single-sex showers...
I figured getting clean was more important but clearly the companies running pools think no-one should see any female torsos even if they are female too.

Original poster
finnmum · 10/05/2012 08:01

Thanks for the link, 5madthings, that's the kind of thing she had on! They just want me to add a bikini top Angry

OP posts:
Original poster
finnmum · 10/05/2012 08:09

Oh my goodness, notcitrus, I have a lot to learn here! Grin

OP posts:
VivaLeBeaver · 10/05/2012 08:17

Yes local paper. Get practising your sad face for the photos.