Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Am I being too judgmental?

467 replies

sugarbaby · 05/01/2006 09:36

I am a SAHM with a 3-year-old DS. My sister on the other hand has a 2 and a half year old DS and works full-time. Her DS goes to nursery from 8 in the morning until approx 5 at night, he has breakfast, lunch and dinner there. Well that?s all very well I guess, I guess not everyone is as lucky as I am and can afford to stay at home. However, not only does my nephew spend every day at nursery during the week, but on weekends, he spends at least one day with my mother or my sister?s MIL so that they can ?do things around the house?. Things like cleaning, shopping, clearing out the spare bedroom .. all the things the rest of us seem to manage perfectly well with a child around at the same time. In fact at Chrittmas my BIL said that they don't actually know what toys their DS plays with because he's at home so little. The clincher came this week, my sister has a week?s holiday. Perfect time one might think for spending time with her DS as she doesn?t get much time normally? Her DS however is back at nursery, full-time, not only that, he?s still being dropped off at 8 in the morning in time for his breakfast. I mentioned this in passing to my mother and she said, ?well he can?t stay off for too long now can he, he might not want to go back, and besides, she needs a rest?! Now please someone tell me I?m not being too judgmental, I just feel this just isn?t right! My sister is constantly encouraged to leave her child and seems more than happy to do so, I, on the other hand, was severely criticised when I decided not to go back to work. I mean it's one thing wanting or needing to work, but she's going to miss out on so much of his growing up? It's actually at the point now where my nephew has no confidence other than when in a nursery environment or at my mother or my house (him and my DS do play together sometimes), in fact my DS actually thinks that my mother is my nephew's mummy, and my nephew has called my mum mummy on more than one occasion. Any thoughts?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
nailpolish · 05/01/2006 14:32

also, top tip, get a cylinder hoover, then they can ride on it and maybe do a spot when they are older

harpsichordcarrier · 05/01/2006 14:33

Enid, does the scarf go on top off your rollers?

marthamoo · 05/01/2006 14:33

Very envious of your tabard and glut of rolling pins. I have only one rolling pin and no tabard. I do have 3 aprons though - and one says "Domestic Goddess" on it. Ner ner ne ner ner.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

beejay · 05/01/2006 14:34

I do think it's good to support you child learning to read but I can't honestly claim that I taught my dd to read- her teacher did.

(sorry I know this is completely off the subject)

Bozza · 05/01/2006 14:34

I work Tues/Weds/Thurs so the week before Christmas had prepaid childcare available for those days. I took Thursday as holiday and arranged to take the kids to visit DH's great aunt and uncle for lunch. But I decided to send them to nursery/CM from 8 ish until 11 so that I could sort out the presents etc without them there. Neither of them were all that pleased to see me at 11. In fact, DD was quite upset to be leaving nursery at the "wrong" time.

Dinosaur · 05/01/2006 14:35

Well, harpsi, she could hardly put the rollers on top of the scarf, could she?

getbakainyourjimjams · 05/01/2006 14:35

My housework is done on Mondays when I am at work. I send ds2 to nursery all day, have someone in to look after ds3- who cleans the house until it sparkles- I've told her she doesn't have to, but she insists (she is my fairy godmother), I don't even have to do the hideous thing of getting ds1 into the house from the school bus, my mum finishes work early and does that. Now that is a piece of p*- just wish I could do it every day (and boy does the house sparkle on Mondays ) I'm with Enid on this one.

getbakainyourjimjams · 05/01/2006 14:36

althoug ~Enid definitely sounds like a better housewife than me- I obviously need the scarf.....

Dinosaur · 05/01/2006 14:36

Feel very inadequate now...

bossykate · 05/01/2006 14:36

dd is going to nursery tomorrow even though i don't work fridays. because i need to catch up on tons of crappy chores that we couldn't do over christmas because we were doing museums, visiting family and friends, kew gardens and all the other fun things.

i don't feel remotely guilty about it - i think it's just common sense.

i know tons of sahms who have childcare btw!

lovecloud · 05/01/2006 14:36

cleaner would be nice...

dishes still in the sink...

me in pj's...

not done any paperwork...

need to collect dd in 30 minutes...

i love being pregnant and lazy - such a great excuse

will take her to the park for a little play, come home and play some games and have quiet time with books. she can then help me cook her dinner which she loves.

how could nursery or after school club beat that???

... oh - sorry wrong thread but its kind of linked

harpsichordcarrier · 05/01/2006 14:37

well dinosaur who knows WHAT ungodly things they get up to in Dorset

nailpolish · 05/01/2006 14:37

i used to have childcare when i worked 2 days a week (in the olden days)

sometimes i wouldnt be needed at work, as it was on call

i still sent dd to cm, but i never did any housework, lay in bed til lunchtime and watched telly the rest of the day, oh yeah, that was the life

was too scared to leave the house incase cm was out and about with dd then i wouldnt have known what to do if i had bumped into them up the town

bossykate · 05/01/2006 14:37

don't, dino. as i said a lot depends on the individual child when it comes to how much can be done around them.

lockets · 05/01/2006 14:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

lovecloud · 05/01/2006 14:39

i would point out that even if i did not work part time i would still send my dd part time for her benefit.

her nursery is like school with structured lessons and free play. she loves it and has gained so much since being there.

its all about balance, from two onwards they need extra stimulation and really benefit from attending a structured nursery part time.

nailpolish · 05/01/2006 14:39

if you never do housework around your kids do they think the house cleans itself?

Marina · 05/01/2006 14:40

don't dino. Ds was a housework refusnik (clinging and screeching sounds familiar) dd is all too keen to "halp". Both approaches mean that our housework is sporadic to say the least . Toilet sanitation or double-helping of Rome? Hmm, that's a toughie
Can anyone explain to me what a tabard, or indeed a rolling-pin, are?

Roobie · 05/01/2006 14:40

Dd used to scream hysterically every time I put the hoover on - but in the end I figured it wouldn't hurt her and carried on regardless. At least I couldn't hear her over the noise of the hoover!

iota · 05/01/2006 14:42

Dino - mt ds2 was a complete nightmare when he was a toddler -- he was extemely curious and loved to climb - turn you back on him for a nano-second and he would be into mischief or danger. I found it very hard to get anything done around him.

So much so, that when he was 18mths old I took redundancy from work and continued to send him to nursery p/t

Now he is 4 and is sooooo easy to look after that even dh will mind him whist I do the school run (in about 10 mins)

Caligula · 05/01/2006 14:43

I have 2 rolling pins and four aprons, 2 with sleeves and one with Che Guevara on it.

I thank you.

TeddyRobinson · 05/01/2006 14:44

Q: sorry, i can't resist. my only exp of sahm-dom has been on mat leave and it is been a piece of p* both times compared to working

Er, yes, but maternity leave with a small baby is a piece of piss! Being a SAHP with 3 under 5 is rather a different scenario. I've worked full time and been a SAHP - there is nothing more knackering than being at home with toddlers.

But anyway - this is not what this thread is about. It's about palming your kids off, even when your not working AND when you work 5 full days as it is.

marthamoo · 05/01/2006 14:44

What is with the multiple rolling pins? Just how much rolling do you domestic chicks do?

harpsichordcarrier · 05/01/2006 14:45

lol at an apron with che guevara on it
how very..... post modern

iota · 05/01/2006 14:45

we have a rolling pin that is mainly used for flattening chiken breasts or pork escalopes

and I have 2 aprons and dh has 2 as well